Disclaimer: I do own Tobi! I keep him locked up in my basement! :D ...not.
Before you read this just a reminder that Naruto is on a island that is actually a turtle and they had him sort out animals by gender and told him it was a mission. Remember? it's to keep him away from the great ninja war... you just have to keep that in mind in order for the last paragraph to make any sense.
Once a somewhat long-ish time ago there was a young Uchiha boy named Tobi. He wasn't quite like any of the other Uchihas in the sense that he was goody two-shoes, good natured, dreamer boy. Whereas all the other Uchihas were over achievers, somehow very rebellious and completely stuck up AND totally cool and reeked of sexual appeal. But not Tobi, Tobi was much too fruity for all that.
Tobi had a dream unlike all the other Uchiha boys. Well the other boys wanted to join the police force, or master the sharingan, or be the last Uchiha standing; Tobi wanted to be a singer on a children's show. Kind of like Barney the dinosaur, but without being a total perv and touching all the kids back stage, because Tobi was a good boy. Yes he had his heart set on becoming Larry the Lollipop, a lovable, talking, orange lollipop who would sing and dance about the alphabet and ironically enough...healthy eating habits.
Tobi's obsession with Larry the Lollipop grew into a lifestyle. His father was completely horrified. Whenever they went to family gatherings his farther always introduced him as his adopted daughter. Because Tobi was just far too fruity to be a boy, let alone a biological son of the Uchihas. To this day it is still unknown if the rest of the family ever knew that they were actually related BY BLOOD to Tobi.
The years went by and although Tobi's dad hoped and prayed that Larry the Lollipop was just a phase; Tobi grew into an adult, with an orange mask as Larry the Lollipop. Not only that but it actually seemed like a real possibility the Tobi's dream would come true. There were people out there who were actually looking for another food item to be a on a children's show. A food item that could sing and dance as dumb-as-fuck children could sit stare and shit themselves in amazement; Larry the Lollipop was just what they were looking for.
Tobi's dad was completely horrified. This was a ninja world that they lived in, how was a fruit like Tobi ever going to survive!? Short answer...he wouldn't. So he did what any other loving, homophobic, and totally cool and sexy father would do...Sent him to some guy named Pain who was in charge of the Akatsuki. (Telling Tobi that it was an acting camp.) Now what Tobi's father didn't count on was the fact that the elders of Konoha would find out and see it as a threat to the entire village. Which led to the order of the Uchiha clan be slaughtered...by an Uchiha...that wasn't too bright on their part. Because, of course, after the almost complete genocide the clan Itachi was going to go to the Akatsuki, which of course was going to lead Tobi to finding out that his dad lied to him about the Akatsuki being an acting camp.
Tobi was completely sent over the edge when he found out. Not only did he find out that all the 'actors' in the Akatsuki were actually legitimate rouges ninjas, he also found out that his dream of becoming Larry the Lollipop had been given to some douche named Might Gai or something like that. Tobi went on a rampage and kicked multiple squirrels in the face. After a few days he calmed down and came up with a plan.
He took the name Madara so that people would take him seriously, and did a FABOULUS mask change. His new goal was to take over the world (yawn, so cliché.) Then he had the last 2 Uchihas (not including himself) fight to the death and then got the strongest one to join him.
Konoha and their dumb-as-fuck children are all kicking themselves in the ass because they are doomed. Most of the Akatsuki including 3 Uchihas (2 of which are out for revenge) as well as all the other resurrected ninjas are going to mind fuck and destroy all of Konoha. Not only that, but Konoha's strongest ninja is on a giant turtle looking at armadillo dicks. They are all going to burn in Larry the Lollipop hell, which Tobi could totally create with his sharingan. I bid you a good rest of your miserable day.
sorry i told you guys to have a miserable day... I feel a little morbid because I had to put down my dog today :( my last words to her were, "you were a good dog, just kidding you were a bad dog but you were SO much fun." so as crazy as this is, this chapter is dedicated to my bad but funny dog. She will be missed.