A/N: I don't usually do angst. I don't like it unless it has a happy ending. I struggle with it-which I guess is the point. But this sucker wouldn't leave me alone. I'm probably going to turn it into a trilogy (so I can have my happy ending). So, be on the lookout for The Pleasure and the Pain: Sara's POV, and whatever I call the third one.
Disclaimer: Technically I haven't named anyone yet, however, to be on the safe side—I don't own them, but they sure as heck play in my head a lot.
The Pleasure and the Pain
The coil wound so tight that he was physically in pain.
He tried using his hands, but they were useless. They weren't her.
Biology-schmiology.
On nights like this he cried himself to sleep.
Yes, he talked to her on the phone a few times a week.
Yes, she still loved him-and told him so before each conversation ended.
But the pain of being separated from her was more than his scientific mind had anticipated. He didn't know when exactly she'd broken through—gradually probably—and taken apart the walls he'd so carefully constructed.
She was the only one who ever could.
He didn't regret it for a moment. Letting her in—letting her really see him and know him in every sense of the word—was the single best thing he'd done in his entire life.
But when he opened up for pleasure, the pain came too.
He worried more.
A lot more.
About how she was doing, about how he could better please her, about whether or not she'd leave him…
And then she did.
His rational mind struggled to make the argument that she hadn't left him per se…but that she'd gone to lay her demons to rest so that they could have a full life together.
His newer-more emotional mind screamed that she had, in fact, left him.
And now he found himself living with the pain, aching for the pleasure to return to him.
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW. please? it helps me keep going.