Disclaimer: They belong to Shonda. Because if they were mind Alex would have had a much better life...
A/N: So I did a thing... This just kinda happened and it didn't stop til it was done. It's a little different but I just kinda couldn't stop the flow... So yeah, it's Meredith and Alex , because well, I just love them... Hopefully someone will enjoy it.
He realized it all one Sunday morning while holding a plate of cold waffles. In the middle of Jo's apartment, (because was it ever really theirs?) it all hit him out of no where.
They had gotten back together weeks ago, but he had only been moved back for four days. It struck him at first how silent the place was, he had become used to the noise, used to children laughing and playing, and annoying cartoon voices blaring from the television. He had learned to love all the noise, learned to enjoy sisters dancing in the living room, and Zola singing in the kitchen. It was stupid and crazy but this apartment was just too freaking quiet.
"I'm making breakfast," he called to Jo and she tied her shoe.
"Sounds great, I'll eat when I get back from my run."
"Okay," he nodded as she looked back at him and smiled and then headed out the door.
The place was too clean too, it was weird, he had become used to toys cluttering the floor and dolls sitting on the sofa. This place was so perfect and tidy, and it drove him crazy. He used to hate stepping on legos or tripping over trucks but right now he even missed that.
Still, he sighed as he walked into the kitchen to start waffles, he loved Jo, he did, and Meredith and Riggs were trying to work things out too. Apparently the girlfriend didn't want him or something, whatever, he still thought Meredith could do better. She deserved someone who could see just how amazing she was.
His phone rang and he grabbed it, smiling when he saw Meredith's face. "Mer, hey."
"I burnt breakfast." She spoke. "The kids are laughing at me."
He let out a chuckle, "I'm laughing at you too." He said as he began to prepare his waffles.
"Shut up, I can actually cook you know, I've done it for years."
"I know."
"But Bailey and Zola were fighting and Ellis was crying and Maggie had to go in early… And I burnt breakfast."
"Thought Riggs was coming over this morning?"
"He is. My house is filled with smoke and my children are laughing at me and he should be here soon."
"Clear the smoke and just make eggs or something."
"I am trying!" He hissed into the phone. "Zola it's not that funny!"
Alex let out a laugh, "It's pretty freakin' hilarious."
"Hush. You're not here, you're not allowed to laugh."
He stood silent for a moment, he wanted to be there, that was the thing that sucked, he wanted to be there, with Mer and the kids, making waffles and laughing. "Yeah." He managed as he poured his waffles into the waffle maker and sighed. "Sorry about that."
"No it's good, you're happy, I'm happy, its good."
"Yeah, great."
"You are happy right?" Meredith asked.
"Yeah, sure I mean, it's good."
"Not great?"
"Just got to get used to it again." Alex sighed. "You're happy right?"
"Yeah, I mean he talks about her a lot, but yeah, it's just because you know, she's back…"
"Right."
"It is."
"Okay."
"Hush, you don't sound much better."
"I just, it's different.."
"You sound miserable."
"Well so do you."
"It's just weird here now…"
"You miss me?" Alex asked.
"What no? Maybe, hush, the kids miss you, and I miss my person."
"Me too." Alex sighed.
"But this is adulting." Meredih said.
"Yeah."
"And we're going to be happy."
"RIght."
"We are."
"I agreed with you."
"Your words did but your voice didn't."
"Hush." He grumbled.
"It's werider this time." Meredith sighed.
"What is?"
"You leaving."
"Yeah."
"It is, right?"
"It is."
"Okay. Bailey give that back to your sister! Now!" Meredith groaned. "I have to go, clear smoke and stuff."
"Yeah okay, talk to you later?"
"Yeah or you could just come over later?"
"Sounds like a plan." Alex sighed as he hung up.
He plated his waffles and worked on the rest of his breakfast in silence. This was what he had wanted, a life with Jo, he had wanted it back and now he had it. Meredith had Riggs, and he had Jo and this was what they had talked about. Happy ever after and all that crap. This was the plan, and he was happy, he was.
He was happy for Meredith too, because she liked Riggs for whatever reason and he just wanted her to be happy. Still, the thought of that dude in that house, with the kids, it was weird. He was the one that had been there, loved those kids, and suddenly there was Riggs.
The door opened and he turned around to see Jo standing at the doorway. "That run was awesome." She smiled.
"Good. Here, I made waffles," he spoke holding a plate.
Jo frowned, "Waffles? I'm not really a fan, but they look awesome."
"You don't like waffles?"
"No, I thought you knew that."
"Apparently not, there's eggs too, if you still like those."
"Eggs are good."
"Yeah okay."
"Alex what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just got used to making waffles, it's stupid."
"You're seriously this upset that I don't like waffles?" Jo asked.
"It's waffle Sunday," he muttered. "It's a thing, or it was a thing, whatever, it's stupid."
"Oh of course," Jo frowned. "It's a thing you have with Meredith."
Alex groaned and stared down at the waffles, "It's a thing I have with Meredith, the kids and the sisters, yes, it's a thing we started when I thought I was going to prison, it's a thing we did as a family and it's stupid. If you don't like waffles it's fine."
"Their not your family." Jo grumbled under her breath.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You said they weren't my family."
"Forget I said it, I'll eat the waffles."
"You don't like waffles." Alex spoke. "And they are my family, they are the only family I have ever had."
"What about me?"
"I didn't mean…"
"Whatever."
"You don't get it, you never will."
"I get that you'd rather be there than here."
"I told you it was stupid, we can do our own tradition or something." Alex sighed. "But they are my family."
"Am I ever going to be your family? Or will it always just be them?"
"Do you want to be my family?" Alex asked. "We still haven't even had a conversation to figure all that out."
"This is it Alex, this is the best I can do with the situation I have."
"It's just..."
"What?"
"Nothing. Just forget it."
"Alex," Jo spoke with a frown. "Seriously? Why don't you just admit it. You're miserable here. You've been miserable since the moment you've moved back in. The only times I've saw you happy is when Meredith would call or the kids would facetime you. The thing is they are not your family. Meredith is with Riggs, she could marry the guy, or someone else, and they will be a family. What do you plan to do then? When you can't play house with them any longer?"
He stared back down at his waffles and looked back up at her as reality flooded him in the face. It was like time had stopped and suddenly everything was spinning around. "No." He muttered.
"No what?"
"I, I have to go." He muttered.
"Go? Go where?"
"I have to go home."
"Alex!"
He handed Jo the plate of waffles and shook his head, "Sorry, I just….this isn't home."
He really wasn't thinking until the moment he showed up on her doorstep. When he knocked on the door, knocked, which was weird, it hit him what he had lost his freaking mind. Meredith was in that house with Riggs, and all of this was totally insane. His life as usual was a screwed up joke.
The door swung open and Meredith stood there staring at him. He took in her sent and stepped back, this was insane, he was insane.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"I uh, hi."
"Why did you knock?"
"Because I wasn't just going to barge in."
"It's your home too."
Those words lit something in him, and he forced a smile. "Yeah it is."
"But shouldn't you be with Jo?"
"No. Where's Riggs?"
"He left," Meredith frowned. "I told him to leave."
"You did what?" He asked as he heard laughter in the house. That sound, he had missed that sound.
"He loves her, so I told him to go fight for her. I'm not second place, and she's the one he loves."
"That sucks."
Meredith shrugged, "Not as bad as I thought."
"No?" He asked.
"No."
"Jo doesn't like waffles."
"Who doesn't like waffles?"
"Right? And my waffles are amazing."
Meredith laughed, "They really are."
"She said you weren't my family."
Meredith frowned, "Of course I am."
"She said things and I thought things."
"And you decided to come over here to talk in riddles?" Meredith asked with a grin.
He took a deep breath, "I missed you."
"Yeah?" Meredith asked.
"Yeah. Mer, I missed you." He said again.
"We've missed you too." She smiled.
"No," He spoke shaking his head, "You don't get it. I missed you."
"Alex," she grinned. "I missed you too."
He looked at her, still standing in the doorway and groaned, "You're not getting this and I suck at saying it. I missed you, yeah I missed the kids and I missed the noise and homework, and all that other stuff, but Mer, I missed you and it hit me holding a plate of waffles in the middle of an apartment I don't want to be at. I freaking missed our late night talks, and waking up beside you. I missed watching television when the kids went to bed and seeing you dance in the bathroom when you didn't know I was watching and….." he let out a breath, "Are you getting this yet? I missed you."
She touched his arm and smiled up at him, "Alex, I get it," she spoke. "I missed you too. I missed us."
"Wait, you too?" He asked as he felt her take his hands in hers.
"Yeah. It hit me last night why I was so unhappy." Meredith sighed. "So I freaked out and didn't sleep at all, and I Face timed Cristina and she called me insane, but it didn't matter. When Nathan kept talking about Megan today, I just told him to go, and it didn't bother me, so I freaked out some more." She spoke.
"This is screwed up."
"Very screwed up."
"We need to talk about this." Alex sighed.
"We do."
"And I need to come home."
"You're already here." Meredith smiled.
"This is so messed up."
"It is."
"It could go so bad." He groaned.
"Possibly."
"Or not?" Alex spoke pulling her closer to him.
"Or not."
"This," He spoke looking down at her, "This is home." Alex sighed.
Meredith smiled up at him, "Welcome home."
One More Note: I am all about slow progression of these two. Exploring, figuring out, and not just jumping together, but I do believe a moment of clarity can happen like this, I just wouldn't want to write a bam and they are together type thing afterward.. Hope someone enjoyed and sorry for the rambling..