Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Zelda, now without further disclaimers I present….
Worlds Most Ridiculous
Triforce Rumors
By Shadow Gamer
Shadow: Welcome to the first and only planned installment of Worlds Most Ridiculous Rumors, today is Worlds Most Ridiculous Triforce Rumors. Here's our guest host Ganondorf.
Ganon: Thank you, thank you I'm glad to be here. Our first rumor tonight is about the Triforce, big surprise there of course. Our talented staff finds all of our rumors. Daurinia Goron of Death Mountain found this one. According to what he found you must go to Death Mountain and feed Daurinia tons of rocks, then he gives you the Triforce. Hey wait a second, that cheap little fool. We'll be back after a word from our sponsors, oh not these again… just like in Zelda Deathmatch
Text flashes at bottom saying "Cheap Ad for Zelda Deathmatch as Ganondorf says that.
We flash to Chi-Chi dressed in a business suit.
Chi-Chi: Do you want to make more money, sure we all do. That's the only reason I'm doing this ****n ad. Oh those censors bleeped me out. I quit *Pulls out machine gun and shoots the screen* I'll go try to get a job on that Zelda Deathmatch show.
White letters flash at bottom saying "Cheap Ad for Zelda Deathmatch" as Chi-Chi says she'll get a job with Zelda Deathmatch. The add ends and the rumor building (Which is also the Zelda Deathmatch building) is in view.
Shadow: Hello, welcome back. Sadly Ganondorf can not be here anymore after he had second thoughts about Daurinia's Rumor and went to feed rocks to Daurinia. Go figure, so our new host is *drum rolls* Me. Our next rumor is from The Turtle Hermit Roshi. He sent us this rumor. He says to look up Zelda's skirt then…. Oh wait this was sent to the wrong address. He wanted the worlds Crudest Zelda Secrets not Worlds Most Ridiculous Rumors.
Roshi is seen in the audience, everyone stares.
Roshi: Oops.
Shadow: The next one is from Ruto Zora. She says that when escaping Ganon's Castle catch up with Zelda and kill her. Then cut off her hand and get the Triforce of Wisdom. Then beat Ganon, the end will not roll. Instead a scene will show Link killing every Hylian and Koriki woman in the game, but not Ruto. Then Link will be transported to the chamber of the sages where Rauru will tell Link to stop his killing spree and then Link will Kill Impa, Naburu, and Saria. Rauru will try to body slam Link; you will now have to fight Rauru. When you beat him the sage seal will be broken and Ganon will be released. You will fight him again and then see a cut seen with Link getting thrown to the floor, but then Ruto beating Ganon with a brick and using Impa's knife to get the Triforce of Power. Then Ganon will die and Ruto will give Link the Triforce. Link will wish to make love to Ruto by a fireplace? Now that's plain wrong.
Everyone in audience looks at Ruto. Link pulls out a butcher's knife and chases Ruto with it yelling something about Fish Sticks.
Shadow: Um, our last rumor comes from The Evil Demented Announcer Person from Zelda Deathmatch. I'm not sure if he spelled everything correct in it though.
White text flashes at the bottom of the screen saying, well you know already.
Shadow: It is titled The Triforce is actually the Quadforce. First get the Triforce (the stupid announcer won't tell us how) and then go to Hyrule field and find the legendary Red Coocoo shown on the Hyrulian Shield, it is at Lon Lon Ranch after you get the Triforce. Attack it and it will call the other Coocoo's and they will perform the fusion dance and turn into King CooCoo. If you can beat the giant chicken then all of them will die except the red one who is holding a fourth golden triangle. Made the bird hold it in its beam and the Triforce in its Talons and you have… the Quadforce. That is so much bull, and I'm not sure if he spelled those chicken thingys names right. Oh well, that's all we have. I hoped you have laughed. Please note non of these rumors work. See you next time on…
All: Zelda Deathmatch
Text flashes at the bottom saying, well you can guess.
Shadow: oops wrong ending.
The End
Worlds Most Ridiculous
Triforce Rumors
By Shadow Gamer
Shadow: Welcome to the first and only planned installment of Worlds Most Ridiculous Rumors, today is Worlds Most Ridiculous Triforce Rumors. Here's our guest host Ganondorf.
Ganon: Thank you, thank you I'm glad to be here. Our first rumor tonight is about the Triforce, big surprise there of course. Our talented staff finds all of our rumors. Daurinia Goron of Death Mountain found this one. According to what he found you must go to Death Mountain and feed Daurinia tons of rocks, then he gives you the Triforce. Hey wait a second, that cheap little fool. We'll be back after a word from our sponsors, oh not these again… just like in Zelda Deathmatch
Text flashes at bottom saying "Cheap Ad for Zelda Deathmatch as Ganondorf says that.
We flash to Chi-Chi dressed in a business suit.
Chi-Chi: Do you want to make more money, sure we all do. That's the only reason I'm doing this ****n ad. Oh those censors bleeped me out. I quit *Pulls out machine gun and shoots the screen* I'll go try to get a job on that Zelda Deathmatch show.
White letters flash at bottom saying "Cheap Ad for Zelda Deathmatch" as Chi-Chi says she'll get a job with Zelda Deathmatch. The add ends and the rumor building (Which is also the Zelda Deathmatch building) is in view.
Shadow: Hello, welcome back. Sadly Ganondorf can not be here anymore after he had second thoughts about Daurinia's Rumor and went to feed rocks to Daurinia. Go figure, so our new host is *drum rolls* Me. Our next rumor is from The Turtle Hermit Roshi. He sent us this rumor. He says to look up Zelda's skirt then…. Oh wait this was sent to the wrong address. He wanted the worlds Crudest Zelda Secrets not Worlds Most Ridiculous Rumors.
Roshi is seen in the audience, everyone stares.
Roshi: Oops.
Shadow: The next one is from Ruto Zora. She says that when escaping Ganon's Castle catch up with Zelda and kill her. Then cut off her hand and get the Triforce of Wisdom. Then beat Ganon, the end will not roll. Instead a scene will show Link killing every Hylian and Koriki woman in the game, but not Ruto. Then Link will be transported to the chamber of the sages where Rauru will tell Link to stop his killing spree and then Link will Kill Impa, Naburu, and Saria. Rauru will try to body slam Link; you will now have to fight Rauru. When you beat him the sage seal will be broken and Ganon will be released. You will fight him again and then see a cut seen with Link getting thrown to the floor, but then Ruto beating Ganon with a brick and using Impa's knife to get the Triforce of Power. Then Ganon will die and Ruto will give Link the Triforce. Link will wish to make love to Ruto by a fireplace? Now that's plain wrong.
Everyone in audience looks at Ruto. Link pulls out a butcher's knife and chases Ruto with it yelling something about Fish Sticks.
Shadow: Um, our last rumor comes from The Evil Demented Announcer Person from Zelda Deathmatch. I'm not sure if he spelled everything correct in it though.
White text flashes at the bottom of the screen saying, well you know already.
Shadow: It is titled The Triforce is actually the Quadforce. First get the Triforce (the stupid announcer won't tell us how) and then go to Hyrule field and find the legendary Red Coocoo shown on the Hyrulian Shield, it is at Lon Lon Ranch after you get the Triforce. Attack it and it will call the other Coocoo's and they will perform the fusion dance and turn into King CooCoo. If you can beat the giant chicken then all of them will die except the red one who is holding a fourth golden triangle. Made the bird hold it in its beam and the Triforce in its Talons and you have… the Quadforce. That is so much bull, and I'm not sure if he spelled those chicken thingys names right. Oh well, that's all we have. I hoped you have laughed. Please note non of these rumors work. See you next time on…
All: Zelda Deathmatch
Text flashes at the bottom saying, well you can guess.
Shadow: oops wrong ending.
The End