Kahlan walked in silence, the warm air settling over her as she let her distracted mind wander. The days leading to this were weighing on her and it took all of her energy to keep it from showing. His eyes were on her, watching as though she would break at any moment, making her want to prove the thought wrong. She wasn't upset, at least, not the way she thought she would be. Her father hadn't-
"We should set up camp," Richard said, interrupting her thoughts. "It's going to rain; we need to find some shelter."
Continuing to walk forward, she tightened her hold on the straps of her travel pack, keeping most of the weight off of her shoulders. "There's a village not far from here. We may find a room available in the inn." No one argued with her, she knew they wouldn't. "If we hurry, we can make it before nightfall and just before the rain."
Clapping his hands together, Zedd beamed. "Great! I'm starving!"
Cara glanced at the older man and sighed. "You always are."
Richard rolled his eyes and stepped forward, walking in stride with his Confessor. "Have you been to the inn before?"
"Once," she nodded.
He waited a moment for her to continue, but it quickly became apparent that she wouldn't. "Are you going to see him again?"
"Who?"
"Your father," he said softly, making sure their friends, who were arguing behind them, couldn't hear.
"No," she answered quickly. "He has his life back now, I will not interfere."
The last of their journey was blank to her as she closed the door to her room. The caretaker had hurried and prepared a bath, giving her the chance to take in a small comfort before setting off again.
She unlaced her dress, letting it fall carelessly to ground. Removing her corset, she slowly stepped into the bathtub, barely feeling the water flow over her chest as she sunk into its warmth. She felt broken and exhausted. Soaping her washcloth, she tried to push back her thoughts, wanting to have silence if only for a moment. Leaning back, she lowered herself deeper into the water, letting her hair soak it in as her eyes fell closed.
The knock at the door made her jump, sending a good amount of water over the sides of the tub and onto the floor. It was cold now, making her wonder how long she had been there. Moving quickly, she wrapped herself in a towel and walked to the door.
It took her brain longer than it should have to register the fact that it was Richard who was standing in front of her, long enough for him to take her completely unaware with his hands on her shoulders and his mouth hard and hot on hers. In an instant, everything fell away but his kiss. It was hungry, like a trapped lion who had broken through his chains and could finally unleash the urge to devour his prey whole. He wasn't asking, he was taking. Demanding.
A hundred times, no, at least a thousand times, she'd dreamed of him kissing her like this. She stared at his mouth, at his lips, thinking about how they'd feel pressed up against her skin and yet, even her best fantasies, even the ones that had her panting his name in secret, didn't begin to come close to this beautiful reality.
He forced his tongue into her mouth, ruthless as he sucked her breath into his body. She moaned with a pleasure that came from way deep down in her core and wrapped her hands around his rock-hard body to pull him closer. His hands were rough, unyielding as they curved hard into the small of her back, then slowly moved lower. All space, all air between them was completely obliterated in his full-on assault on her mouth, her body.
Pulling back suddenly, Kahlan sucked in a deep breath, hurrying her hands to stop the quickly falling towel that covered her body. "What's gotten into you?"
Stepping into her room, he closed the door, looking around. "Nothing, I- Were you taking bath?"
"Yes, but I... I must have fallen sleep." Crouching down beside the bathtub, she retrieved the bar of soap and washcloth from the water, setting them on the small table that sat beside it. "I didn't realize I was so tired."
"You should be exhausted," he said softly, kneeling down close to her. Lifting her dress, he began to fold, not knowing what else to do. "I don't think Nicci slept and after what she put you through..." He sighed, realizing she was staring at him. "After seeing your father again..."
"Richard," she started quietly. "It-"
"I know you don't want to talk about it, but Kahlan- I'm here."
She smiled, laying her hands on his to stop his movement. "I know."
"Then why won't you talk to me?"
"Because I don't know what to say. I thought that seeing him again would give me a chance to ask him everything I had wanted to all of these years, but when I saw him, I couldn't." Sitting down, she closed her eyes and sighed. "I didn't need to."
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't understand before. I thought that I did, but how could I? The men I had confessed were still mine and I- I didn't truly know what it was that happened to them. When he was released, he had his life returned to him, but he had lost everything. He lost the only woman he had ever loved and had two children from another who took him without question. He did what he needed to in order to cope, to survive."
"Kahlan, I know that you're trying to see a way around what he did, but-"
Unable to understand any of it, she had to ask, "Why did you come here?"
He looked her straight in the eye and said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Because you needed me."
"I do?" she questioned.
"Yes." He smiled, dipping his fingers into the tub water. "Did you want to finish your bath?"
"No."
He grinned widely, holding back a laugh as he motioned to her with his right hand. "Are you sure you don't want to wash the soap out of your hair?"
Reaching to her wet hair, she blushed. "Oh... I didn't realize-"
Standing, Richard began walking backward. "I'll find you some warm water."
"No, it's alright. This is fine."
"It's cold," he countered as she stood up.
"If it's warm, I'll fall asleep again."
He stepped forward, "You need the rest."
"It's late; I don't want to bother anyone."
"I'll get it for you."
Closing the distance between them, she shook her head. "You should rest, I'll be fine."
He kissed her again, the same way he had before, but this time, she let her hands travel without pause. She could feel the warmth of his skin beneath his clothes as her hands roamed down his back, and then back up and across his broad, muscular shoulders, but it wasn't enough. She wanted to know the feel of him beneath her fingertips. Skin on skin.
As she yanked his shirt upward and broke their kiss long enough to pull it over his head and she started freaking out a little bit. Because with his torso bared before her, with all of that hard heat at her disposal to caress, she wanted so many things so powerfully all at once that instead of being able to do any of them she found herself nearly paralyzed.
Pressing her hands flat against his chest, she could feel the beating of his heart against her palms. A hard, fast pounding that mirrored her own.
She'd dreamed of this moment, so many times she'd thought it would never come, and now that it had, she felt almost frightened.
She lifted her eyes to his at the exact moment that her heart said, I love you. No. She stumbled back from him, or tried to, but his arms were faster than she was.
"Yes or no?" he asked in a low voice that rumbled through her entire body like a sensual earthquake.
Of all the stupid things to feel for him, love was definitely the stupidest. She swallowed hard, making herself locate her voice, which felt like it had dropped way down deep into her toes.
She tried to say yes, but all she could get out was, "You already know the answer."
He shook his head, just as she'd known he would. He wasn't the kind of man you could fool. He was too smart; too quick. "I need to hear you say it."
His need rocked through her. She couldn't say no to him. Just as she couldn't say no to herself, to her own desperate need.
She licked her lips. Opened her mouth and after what seemed like an eternity, whispered, "Yes."
That one small word was all it took for him to take over. His hands moved so fast from her back to the front of the towel. Through the thin fabric she could feel his hands on the curves of her breasts, silently begging him to touch her. A split second later, he ripped the towel from her body, fully exposing her to his hungry eyes. She gasped in shock. Who was this man, she wondered as she instinctively moved to cover herself.
Before she could, his hands came around her wrists to hold her arms at her sides. His chest was rising and falling hard. His eyes burned her skin, causing a flush to travel all across her breasts.
"Spirits, you're beautiful." No one had ever looked at her this way, like she was absolutely, impossibly perfect. She tried to say something but she still couldn't catch her breath. "You can stop me," he told her sincerely, a part of him expecting her to.
With Kahlan naked before him, he looked his fill. She was thin, but not at all too thin, her hips curving out slightly from her small waist, her breasts exactly the right size for his hands; his mouth. And then he was bending his head down and she felt the first flutter of his soft hair against her collarbone as he lowered his mouth down over one breast.
A low, uncontrollable moan of pleasure shook her throat. She wanted to put her hands on the back of his head, hold him there forever against her, but he wouldn't let her go. All she could do was stand there and let him taste her. His tongue and then his teeth were lightly scoring her sensitive flesh.
"Richard..." His name was a plea for mercy. Or maybe, for the exact opposite and that was when she realized he understood her better than she did herself, because instead of letting up, instead of giving her a chance to catch her breath, he shifted his dangerous attention from one breast to the other.
The touch of his lips, his tongue, the dark stubble on his jaw, stroking across her untouched skin, sent another jolt of pure desire through her, head to toe, strong enough that she didn't know how her body was managing to hold it all inside without breaking apart. She arched into his mouth to get closer, every cell in her body focused on three square inches. His jaw was covered in rough stubble and she loved the way it felt as it scraped and scratched against her skin.
And then his mouth was traveling up over the small curves of her breasts, across her collarbone, settling in the hollow. His tongue tasted her there, and it struck her that feeling Richard's kiss on her shoulder was one of the most erotic moments of her life. She wanted to taste him too, wanted to run her hands and mouth over every inch of his beautiful body. She tried to pull herself out of his bonds and his hands tightened on her wrists.
He pulled his mouth away from her skin. His eyes were dark, dangerous. "Do you want me to stop?"
It wasn't just the sensual spell he had wound around her or the look in his eyes that had her wanting to give in. It was the fact that those words were said in such a vulnerable voice, held not only more desire than she'd ever known, but also pain. He didn't want to do something that she would regret.
"I can't..."
He stepped back with a nod, understanding completely as he released her. She didn't move to cover herself like he thought she would, but even now, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Shaking his head, he swallowed his need, hoping she wouldn't see his hard arousal.
"I'm sorry," he told her with another step back, trying his best not to make her feel like he was upset with her. "I'll find someone to get you warm water."
"Richard," she spoke his name breathlessly, freezing him just before he turned toward the door. "Stay?"
"I don't-"
"Please?" she pleaded quietly. Without realizing it, she had stepped to him, her hand now lying on his arm. "You were right, I do need you."
Her words melted him, making him melt to her touch and turn around as she guided him back to her. Their eyes were locked and he saw the same passion, pain and fear in hers that he was sure she saw in his. In silence, she leaned forward, kissing him lightly; almost afraid that anything more would undo them both. A soft gasp left her lips as he lifted her from the floor. In three strides, they were beside the bathtub and without hesitation; he stepped into the water, lowering them both into its cool welcome. She was against his chest, his arms wrapped around her as he urged her to lean into him.
"Trust me," he told her tenderly.
His fingers were wound in her hair, slowly massaging her scalp as the water pushed the soap free.
The moment he finished, she sat forward and turned her head to face him. "Your pants are wet."
Her smile was always contagious, spreading onto his mouth as he nodded. "They'll dry."
Coming to face him, she straddled his thighs, suddenly more grateful for the large size of the tub. "Thank you." Touching the sides of his face, she rubbed the pads of her thumbs across the stubble of his cheeks.
His hands rested on her thighs, fighting the urge to caress the milky, smooth skin and draw her nearer. Her kiss was unexpected, but he didn't push her away. The moan that left his lips as she rocked forward brought her back from her thoughts. She had felt him beneath her, his arousal unable to hide. It was unfair to treat him this way. Dropping her hands into the water, she grabbed the top of his pants and pulled.
Leaning his head away from her, he opened his eyes. "Kahlan, you don't have to-"
Pressing her lips back to his, she smiled. "I know."
It took her a few moments to fee him, the laces of the pants swollen with the water. The moment she released him, she pulled her hands back. Timidly, she touched him with her index finger. She ran it down the shaft, over the raised veins, felt them throb beneath her light touch. He was so thick, wide and so long. He was so hot, velvety smooth skin stretched over steel. So beautiful and all hers.
He moaned loudly, making her cover his mouth with hers to silence him. If anyone had been walking by, they would have heard him and they couldn't afford to be caught. She didn't know what to do, continuing only off of the moans and gasps her released between their kisses. It was almost impossible for her to believe what was happening, her hand wrapped firmly around his manhood while she sat naked above him. Closing her eyes, she kept her face against his, sharing each ragged breath as she allowed herself to remember the pleasure of his mouth on her body.
As though sensing the rise of her desire and the thoughts in her mind, he glided his hands over her sides, stopping at her breasts. They fit perfectly within them, telling him in another way that this is how they were meant to be. Leaning into his touch, she quickened her hand, the other now purposely sliding over his thigh. Kahlan purred against him, their lips finding each other's once again in a passionate dance. Another moment and he was done.
Her hand remained wrapped around him, slowly rising and falling with the steady pounding of her own heart, finding the soft noises leaving his lips enthralling. She felt entirely comfortable, safe and as though she had been doing the same thing every night of her life. When his breathing began to slow, she removed her hand and waited for his eyes to open. He looked stunning before her, his head leaning back against the edge of the tub, the water caressing his chest the way she wished her lips could. Touching her fingers to his chest, she waited for him to say something, but all he could do was stare.
"Richard?"
He saw the fear flash in her eyes and he acted quickly. Bringing her chest to his, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her. He couldn't allow her to think what he knew was on her mind.
"Are you cold?"
"No." She wasn't, the water should be more than cold, but she couldn't feel it. Her body burned in desire, heated and ready for his, but she couldn't allow herself to give in.
"You're shaking," he told her as his hands sampled her back.
"It's not from the cold," she blushed, looking away from him. She looked at her bed, her mind instantly imagining spending the night with him in it.
Reaching out of the bath, he grabbed her towel and brought to them. "Here, you should get some rest."
They moved together, standing while letting their eyes linger on the other's body. Richard forced his eyes off of her perfect form and wrapped her in the towel. With a small smile, she moved away from him, walking to a wardrobe that he hadn't noticed before.
Returning with a towel for him, she motioned behind her. "You can lay your pants beside the window. They won't be fully dry by morning, but they will be a little more comfortable."
"It's alright, I don't mind wearing them-"
"Please?"
"They're fine and I can't walk back to my room without them."
Her smile widened. "I know."
When he had his pants lying by the window, he turned to face her. She was already in the bed, but her eyes were on him. Walking toward her, he crawled into the bed, trying to keep himself calm. Kahlan turned onto her side, facing him completely.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"You didn't," he said softly. "Does it bother you, what we did?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
Rolling onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling. "Because I didn't want it to end."
Shifting beside her, Richard closed the distance between them and leaned onto her. They were surrounded by silence, their desires hovering above them as they locked eyes. He found himself not breathing, not moving, and just staring into her eyes. She was staring too and he had a feeling she was seeing down deep into his soul, past the person he showed others and all the way to the real man inside. A man that he wasn't sure he really knew.
His hand moved over her stomach, gently testing the softness of her skin before moving to touch her breast. She bit down on her lower lip, stopping her moan from growing louder. He was skilled, much more so than she ever imagined and she couldn't wait for more. With her left breast in his right hand, he took the other in his mouth, sucking, licking and biting until she was pushing into him. Abandoning his hold, he snaked his hand down her stomach, watching as her mouth opened and her head pushed backward, into the thin pillow. Every move and sound she made had him hypnotized, almost making him forget what they were doing.
When his fingers touched her, she gave a soft gasp of both pleasure and surprise, but she didn't stop him. His lips found their way to her neck, softly sampling her as drove the fingers of her right hand into his hair.
"Richard..." she panted heavily, gaining his attention. Her eyes opened then, she looked at him in beautifully unfocused pleasure. "I want you..."
He had to kiss her, had to take her, had to be with her, inside her and in every possible way. His tongue found hers just as he began to crawl on top of her. She reached down, driven by desire and instincts, desperately trying to have him take her.
Grabbing her hands, he stopped her. "We need to go slower, Kahlan."
"No," she said, clearly trying to use every bit of strength she possessed to force herself out of his grip and push him into her.
But he'd made up his mind. For her sake, even though it was probably going to kill him, they had to take their time and give her the chance to think about what it was she was saying, what they were doing.
"It'll be better this way," he said, working to convince not only her, but himself, as he said it. "One inch at a time."
To illustrate his point, he pushed forward just enough to cover that inch. The effects were greater than either imagined. A quiet cry to the spirits and whisper of their lovers name flowed outward, dancing around their ears as he paused.
His heart was pounding, telling him not to listen to her body, begging for of him. If they continued, it would destroy everything they had, but not because of her magic.
"We can't do this, Kahlan." She stared at him, his body laying against hers in a way that made her quake to the core. They were so close. "I know you think this is a good idea now, but it's not." Moving off of her, he struggled with his arousal, they had only just connected and he felt like he was going to burst. "You would hate yourself in the morning and I would rather you hate me now, instead."
"I don't hate you," she said softly, clinging to the blankets around her. She felt dirty. He had just seen her in weakness and she had shown him that she was like other women, she wanted pleasure too. "Richard, I-" she stopped herself, unsure as to what to say as she turned her head and looked into his eyes. "Please don't think any less of me."