So, I kind of thought of this after watching an interview with the two Chris'... I thought it'd be a really funny/cute idea, just hope I've managed to pull it off enough to let someone out there get a laugh from it. No beta so mistakes are all my own.
And now, on with the story.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
The battle was over - they'd won. He had managed to win, and somehow survived. ... Wait, they had won right?
Tony groaned and climbed to his feet, calling to JARVIS but not getting a response. Huh, the comms must be offline. Probably something to do with the considerable damage the suit had taken. Not even the repulsers were working at the moment, as Tony had found out pretty fast after he tried to use them and promptly landed on his faceplate once again. Which then proceeded to fall off and clatter to the cement beneath him, the noise louder than he'd ever thought possible from such a short distance. He scrunched up his facial features in displeasure; his ears were still ringing. Tony snorted to himself and carefully repositioned his aching body to a sitting position, aided by the suit 'cause otherwise movement may have been darn near impossible. Okay, so time to go through his post-battle mental checklist, which really he was just making up as he went along.
So, when he'd come to, lying face-down in a large field of rubble that must have once been a sizeable building, he'd quickly discovered two things: First, JARVIS was offline meaning his comms were also kaput, as well as his repulsers and probably a lot of other things. Second, he felt as if he'd been hit by a jet and then run over by a tank. Which, heck maybe he had, he honestly couldn't remember at this point. It'd been a tough battle, he wouldn't deny any bit of that, but at least Rhodey had been there to help-
Wait, where was Rhodes?! And...
"Pepper!" Tony suddenly exclaimed, lurching to his feet and, once again, very nearly planting his face in the rubble. But this time, someone caught him.
"Whoa there," he heard a distinctly feminine voice say, and he looked up to find a redhead, but not the one he was presently looking for.
"Natasha? What are you-" Tony started to say, then cut himself off and focused on getting air into his suddenly much too deflated lungs. He was deeply confused, and wondered if he had been hit harder than orginally thought. He didn't remember Natasha being there at all, when had she shown up...?
"I've been watching from the shadows, taking care of what I can. For a while now actually. Only jumped into the fight today when my hand was forced." She informed him calmly, with a smirk that looked to him more than a little scary.
"Right," Tony muttered, sounding exhuasted. Which he totally was. "Fury's got his eye on everyone, how could I have forgotten so soon." He said melodramatically. Then there was a pause. "Hey, since you're a super-spy and all that, did you happen to notice which way Pepper, and Rhodes for that matter, disappeared to? And, and if-?"
"Pepper is fine, Rhodey went to make sure of that while you kept the main baddy busy. Thanks to you, they were all able to make it out just fine." Natasha explained to him, putting it on a little thick only because Tony looked as though he needed a little pick-me-up.
"Oh, good. Glad to be of service. ... I should, y'know, go say hi." Make sure they were all okay, if he were completely honest, which honestly he rarely was.
Just at that moment, the sounds of a quinjet flying overheard caused the pair to look up. Tony squinted suspiciously, Natasha remained impasive as she watched it land not so far away. It was one of theirs, of course, but what was it doing here now? Some SHIELD agents on clean-up duty, or had some aliens or robots or something taken over one of their jets and there was about to be another battle? Tony tensed up, prepared to fight to the last, but Nat just continued watching. Waiting.
The ramp went down within a few moments of its landing, and out stepped...
Hawkeye and Captain America, each in full gear. Because of course Thor and Bruce were both, ah, out-of-town at the moment last Tony had heard.
Best yet, Cap and the Hawk appeared to be arguing. With each other. Tony almost laughed.
"If you would've let me take off right away," Clint was saying, while Steve was shaking his head.
"The all-clear wasn't given; if we'd hit another flying craft during our ascent-"
"Which we most defintely would not have, with me behind the wheel! Honestly, Rogers, it's like you've never seen me fly one of those things before."
"That's not what-" The pair from the quinjet now much closer to the pair standing amidst the rubble, Tony took this opportunity to cut Steve off.
"Hey!" Tony greeted, standing under his own power now and raised a hand to wave at and Steve stopped and turned their attentions to Iron Man. "You guys are, uh, kinda late for the party." Tony said a little sadly, looking out over the feild of rubble.
"I seriously think you should re-evaluate your description of the word, 'party,' Tony." Natasha muttered in a monotone, frowning at the man. Tony just laughed.
"We wouldn't have been late if someone had allowed me to take off on time!" Clint griped, glaring at Cap as Hawkeye folded his arms across his chest and for all appearances looked as if he were pouting. Steve just narrowed his eyes in return, frowning even deeper if that were possible.
"We needed to wait for the airspace to clear; we've been over this..." Steve said with a sigh, waving his hands in the air out of frustration and breifly closing his eyes. Clint also sighed and let his expression drop.
"Seriously, what kept you guys?" Tony questioned as he took a step forward, genuine curiosity coloring his tone. Not that he actually cared, but it might be amusing to watch them argue some more. Steve and Clint stared at him for a moment, neither moving, before Hawkeye finally spoke up.
"Well let's see, besides the leaving-on-time thing, there was the first storm system we then had to divert around..." Clint counted it off on his fingers.
"Then the flock of seagulls that tried to take out our right-wing engine..." Steve said, expression grim as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Then the second, which turned out to be a rather strong typhoon..." Clint went on, three fingers counted off now.
"And the mis-understanding with that naval ship..." Was added by the other man.
"And then when we had to circle for an hour 'cause we weren't given landing clearance...only to realize we were seriously off-course anyway." Clint had to go to the index finger of his other hand to keep on counting, then sighed again and flexed his fingers out with a frown.
"Hey, that's all good and stuff, and uh... Yeah. I'd feel bad if y'all came all this way and missed out on the action, so, y'know what? I'm gonna be generous and let you guys have all the after-party clean up to yourselves." Tony said with an innocent smile. Then he nodded his head. "Yup, so. Now, off to see Pep. Oh, and Rhodey too." Tony declared, and lifted one leg to start off.
"They are that way," Natasha graciously pointed out, nodding in the direct opposite way Tony had started to head off in.
"Right, that way. Uh, see you guys later. Have fun." Tony turned and gave a backwards wave as he started off, not looking too steady either.
"I'm gonna, go make sure he stays on his feet. You boys play nice." Nat smiled and then was gone.
"So, we seriously staying for clean-up?" Clint asked, turning to Steve. Steve gave him a 'look,' then walked away to see of what service they could be at the moment. Clint sighed and trudged after the Captain.
Thanks so much for reading!
I honestly just wrote this in like a couple of hours, so I don't know how well it came out...but I am planning on writing another humor-based Avengers story, that will have multi chapters and hopefully be better than this one, ha. That's all I'll say for now, but anywho, hope you enjoyed reading this one!