I own nothing except some original characters I sometimes bring in. Kelley Armstrong owns The Otherworld and all the wonderful information there.
"Sometimes being a brother is better than being a superhero."
- Marc Brown
Pack Brothers
"I can't believe you did that Reese," I yelled. Reese had stopped the car outside of Sorrentino Estates main door. The garage door opener had been broken for a few days now so there was always a conglomeration of cars in the driveway. This included Reese's red Dodge Viper and Nick and Antonio's Mercedes. I didn't have a car yet but I was hopeful this birthday would be the one I got a sleek convertible or maybe a Ducati motorcycle.
Reese and I had both been moody and silent on the way home from the party. Now my anger was exploding and I couldn't stop myself from giving into it. He was my best friend and my pack brother and he had betrayed me.
"Noah, I didn't mean to," Reese growled. He rounded the car after we both got out and crossed his arms glaring at me. He was stubborn to the core and wouldn't easily apologize for a transgression.
"Right, you didn't mean to fuck her just like you never mean too. I liked her Reese," I screamed. I pushed my wet hair out of my eyes as I confronted Reese. The rain had been coming down in sheets ever since we left the party.
Reese now cocked his head to the side and gave me a sideways look. I felt like he was Antonio giving me a look for doing something I knew was forbidden. It didn't happen often but it happened to us all every once in a while.
"There will be other girls Noah," Reese sighed in a patronizing tone. It infuriated me that he was treating me like a spoiled child. He was only 3 years older than me. How did he get away with acting like he was my alpha or something?
"Yeah there will be other girls you can screw as always. There will always be other girls you can screw to fill your life with some kind of meaning," I shot back. His eyes turned storm cloudy. I had hit the mark; I knew what buttons to push to get to him like he knew mine as well as Nick and Antonio's. Nick and Tonio's buttons we didn't push much though. They had clothed, fed and sheltered us and provided us with way more than they needed too so we did not often incur their wrath.
"Get over it and stop being such a brat," he ordered. His voice was now low trying to emulate Antonio's tone. Tonio would never speak to me or anyone that way even when he was angry though. Antonio and Nick treated us with respect and never made us feel like little kids or like we were unimportant.
Reese turned now to go into the house convinced he had gotten his message across. That I would just sit back and obey like a good dog, yeah right. I wiped the water from my eyes before I spoke again seeing he was doing the same.
"Fuck you Reese," I growled. He stopped and turned back to me looking incensed and a bit more then outraged. I had the inclination to step back but I made myself stay put. I didn't back away from Clay when I thought he was going to kill me the first time we met. I certainly would not back down now.
"You will respect me Noah, I'm your pack brother and I'm older then you," he reminded. I refused to lower my eyes, I would not be submissive. He finally gave up and turned back to the front door feeling as if he had made his point. He had only made me angrier though and when I was angry I felt as if I couldn't think. I felt it rage through me controlling every thought, feeling and action and I gladly let it take over this time.
With a huge growl I burst forward and tackled Reese to the ground when he had his back turned. Attacking someone when their back was turned was a definite no with the pack but I was not thinking right then. I was like the troll in every kind of myth, using all the strength of my muscles and none in my brain.
Reese was a much better fighter then me but I was so angry I didn't care at that moment. The weather continued to downpour as we fought. We flung mud everywhere and resembled mud men rather than somewhat human creatures in a matter of minutes.
Reese easily flipped me off of him and onto the ground and then shot down to pin me. I rolled so he only got my arm but he managed to pull it back as I kicking him in the stomach. He made an oaf sound and seeing success I started kicking and punching with no real technique. He deflected the first few and then started giving them back when he saw I wasn't stopping.
The rain and our fighting made a thunderous noise taking over all of our senses. We didn't hear the vehicle come into the driveway or the door being slammed or even the voices. That is until we were pulled apart like two lion cubs fighting over scraps.
"Stop it," I heard ordered. Then I felt arms yanking me back. I struggled still in fight mode but quickly stopped when I realized a pack member must have had me. I should not try and fight them. They were not only much stronger but much smarter than me. I wiped the mud from my eyes struggling to regain focus.
"I'll never forgive you Reese," I growled. Nick pulled him to his feet and then pushed him towards the house roughly. This was unlike Nick. They were both usually so gentle with us and everyone but I could see he was pissed. It took a lot to totally piss off both Sorrentino men.
"Get inside," he ordered. Reese turned to look at us with anger and disbelief on his face. His eyes lit on me and he scowled. I scowled back letting him know I was not afraid of him.
"Nick," Reese growled. He wiping the mud from his face now and looking from Nick to me indignantly. I could see he thought I was not in trouble at all and he was getting even angrier about it. He usually thought I got away with things but I didn't think that was true.
"Now Reese," Nick ordered. His voice had turned hard. We usually only heard Antonio use that tone when he was super pissed. Reese growled and huffed but then turned towards the front door obediently. He slammed it hard when he reached it. It sounded as if he might have broken it in his rage.
"You're paying for that if it's broken," Antonio said. His voice came from behind me. I finally figured out who had hauled me up. A lot of times Tonio let Nick take over with the mentorship and this seemed to be one of those times. I looked over to see Elena standing there with her arms crossed watching. I looked away again. I was ashamed to have been caught fighting with a pack brother in front of her let alone the Sorrentinos.
"Nick I...," I started to say. He held up a hand instantly cutting me off. I held my anger in though. I had just seen that Reese had gotten into even more trouble by being pissed off and not listening. I could at least learn a quick lesson from that. I felt Tonio's hand leave my shoulder as Nick turned his attention to me.
"Room now, go and cool down," he commanded. I hesitated for a split second to long though and almost jumped when I heard Antonio's voice. I felt pain shoot through my hands and looked down to see the change starting to happen. I still could not control my changes. When I was extremely emotional either angry or sad, I would start to change.
"Now Noah Joseph," Antonio commanded. My shoulders slumped as I turned from them and headed for the front broken door and inside. I kicked off my shoes and headed to my room concentrating on changing my paw back to a human hand. I saw Reese had shed some of his muddy clothes in the hallway, which was not allowed because the Sorrentino's were not our maids, and the back door to the house was open through the kitchen. He must have gone to the guest house where he stayed most of the time.
I trudged upstairs and into my room. I shed my clothes onto my bedroom floor and took a quick hot shower. This helped me cool down a little. I went back into my room and found a Medieval Times t-shirt and pyjama bottoms to wear. I was home for the rest of the night and probably the rest of the week, except for school, so I may as well be comfortable.
I thumped onto my bed and lay there with my arms crossed and the lights off watching the rain on the windows trying to calm down. My change had stopped at least but I wasn't any calmer then before despite the shower.
I stayed like this for a moment more before my thoughts were interrupted by shouting outside. I curiously got up and went to the window. Looking out I saw Reese half way across the back yard shouting at someone looking indignant. I had never seen Reese this angry and this disobedient before.
I took a chance and left the room sneaking down the back way, the old servant's stairs, to the kitchen. I looked out towards the backyard to see Nick and Elena were on the porch watching as Reese confronted Antonio. The rain had trickled out to a drizzling point now. I walked forward standing in the open patio door to listen.
"You're not listening, you're just getting angry and throwing your weight around," Reese yelled. Antonio crossed his arms regarding Reese. He was accusing Antonio of not listening which was an absurd accusation. Antonio always listened no matter what. In my opinion since he was the oldest pack member he had the experience and the years to throw his weight around if he wanted to though.
"What do you think I'm not listening too Reese?" Antonio asked. I could tell his voice was exercising measured control. Even when he was beyond angry he was trying. I could see this. I appreciated this. I had lived with plenty of people before who never even bothered to try; they used strength instead of words.
"You're blaming me for this whole thing," Reese cried. He angrily waved his arms and glared at the older werewolf. I took a step back. The glare was a clear challenge and no matter how good Reese was there was no way he could take Antonio down. Jeremy would kill him for even trying.
"You're the older pack brother Reese, you're supposed to be at least a little more mature," Antonio reminded him. I saw indignation cross Reese's face now as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. It boded well for me so I was fine with it.
"I'm supposed to be mature when he's the one who attacked me?" Reese cried. He pointing at me, I backed up more and gulped. They all turned to see me in the doorway now. I tried to look as small and as nonthreatening as possible. This was a trick I had learned from various foster homes. Look small and you won't be noticed as much. It didn't work in this case though.
"You attacked Reese?" Nick said. He turned on me frustrated and I felt my heart drop into my stomach now. That was something I knew would come back and bite me in the ass.
"Only because he likes to fuck everything that moves and has a pulse," I cried. I angrily glared at Reese trying to defend myself. Crossing my arms over myself I threw all the malice I could into the look.
"I didn't know she was the girl you were into Noah or I wouldn't have gone after her," Reese countered. I shook my head angrily not believing him. If he wanted something he would take it, whatever it was. He was bigger, brighter and all together better than me. Everyone knew that.
"How could you not know, you saw me talking to her," I screamed. I was exasperated by the whole affair by now and really just wanted to be left alone.
"This is about a girl?" Elena sighed. She was exasperated too. I saw her cross her arms looking beyond tired of this. I looked away not daring to meet the alpha elects gaze. Instead I looked at the blue marble tiles on the kitchen floor studying the patterns.
"How could you do that to me Reese," I asked. I looked up at him again. I was hurt and confused by it all. I thought he was supposed to be my brother so why was he acting like such an ass. Why was he going against me and not being there for me like a brother should be?
"Guys," Antonio sighed. He sounded frustrated as well. As always he was the mediator between all of us. Usually he was the one with the cool head but I saw he was starting to get frustrated and lose that cool.
"Reese...," Nick said exhaling loudly. Then he turned to me and was about to speak when Reese interrupted. I looked over at Reese in shock. You were never supposed to interrupt an older pack brother, never. How many rules was he going to break tonight?
"She didn't want you Noah," Reese informed. He said this in a much calmer voice. I stared open mouthed at him. He could not be serious, that was completely ridiculous. She had wanted me. I saw that. That's what made me want her. What gave me the courage to speak to her.
"What, she was totally into me," I cried. He shook his head now. I clenched my fist angrily and felt the anger surging through me again. I felt the change starting to come once more. Soon I would not be able to stave it off.
"No, she wasn't she wanted me so get over it," Reese cried harshly. Antonio growled in frustration and gestured for Reese to go to the guest house. He couldn't even seem to use words he was so angry now.
"Noah...," Nick started to say. I nodded and left before he could finish because I knew what he would say. I walked up the back stairs and went to my room being careful not to slam the door. My anger was just fuelling my strength right now. I did not want to add destruction of property to my list of wrong doings tonight.
I went directly to my desk and opened my laptop to start homework but just ended up surfing the net to calm down. I was unsurprised when I heard a knock on my door a while later. I called for them to come in but continued playing the game. I stared at my computer while the person walked in and stopped beside the bed. I knew I should look but I didn't care.
"Noah," Antonio finally said. I nodded clicking as my character shot a bad guy on the screen. I heard him sigh and walk towards me and suddenly his hand came down shutting my laptop on me.
"Tonio...," I started to protest but when I looked up I saw he was in no mood for any kind of disobedience. I looked down again cutting off my reply and keeping quiet.
"When I talk to you I expect an answer immediately and I expect it to be respectful. Now go sit on the bed," he ordered. He usually never spoke to me this way so I obeyed immediately. I was slightly scared of him now.
"Yes sir," I answered. Defeated I immediately got up and sat where he told me to. He came to stand in front of me now and I looked at the wooden floor waiting.
"Eyes up here," he ordered. Immediately I looked up. He crouched in front of me and set a hand on my leg. I loved all the fatherly gestures he used. Never having had a father before made me really appreciate it now.
"What happened?" he asked. I recited my side of the story including how I was talking to Sophie when suddenly Reese was there. He had swept her off her feet and left with her. I was left standing look like an idiot.
"He did it on purpose Tonio, why does he always do this?" I asked. I let the hurt creep into my voice now. I wanted to be the guy who got the girl for once, the cool confident one. Not the dorky idiotic one.
"Noah I don't think Reese did that to hurt you, as he tells it the girl was not interested in you at all and you didn't see that," Tonio said softly trying not to be hurtful. It was hurtful though. It hit me right in the heart. It came with a heaping spoonful of humiliation and a package of embarrassment and shame.
"He's lying," I hissed angrily but he held up a hand. I sighed and glared at the floor now. Why was Reese doing this to me?
"I'm not sure exactly what happened but I do know that you and Reese need to talk about this. I'm ordering you guys to make up," he said. He stood now. I crossed my arms not saying anything to this.
"Noah," he warned. I sighed. I refused. It was not fair I had to concede when I had done nothing wrong.
"I'm not making up with him," I said. I was a bit scared because I had never disobeyed him before. I avoided his eyes as I told him this.
"Then you're going to be in your room quite a while kiddo," he said. I felt his hand on my shoulder for a second. He gave it a quick squeeze before he walked across the room and closed the door gently. I sighed angrily glaring at the floor in my room. I would be getting to know this room well because I refused to apologize.
The next day, after I had spent the morning and afternoon in my room, we sat at the table eating dinner in near silence. Every conversation that was started didn't last and the tension was so heavy I swear I could have thrown my plate in the middle of it and it would have hovered.
I looked down at my plate with one elbow on the table holding my head. I looked hardly anywhere else but the wooden table top. When my eyes did happen to catch Reese's we both glared at one another until someone growled at us to quit it.
Finally, and I am surprised this did not happen before, Nick couldn't take it anymore. He exploded. It was like a canon going off. In fact I might have expected a nonexistent canon to go off more than Nick's anger.
"That's it," he roared. He surprised us all and made me jump. I looked up at him and saw Elena, who was staying for the day, look at him too. She looked as shocked as the rest of us.
"Both of you make up now," he ordered. He pointing his fork at Reese and then at me, I looked over at Reese and we both glared at one another. No way in hell was I making up with this traitor.
"Now guys," Nick bellowed. This made me jump again but I didn't say a word. He could get as mad as he wanted I was not apologizing. I crossed my arms and pursed my lips not saying a word.
"She wasn't interested in you," Reese began. I sucked in a breath. Why was he lying? Why couldn't he just admit he was a jerk?
"You're a fucking liar," I growled. I stood now glaring at him. I felt my hand start to change again and I didn't care. Let it come. Maybe we could fight it out as werewolves.
"Stop being an asshole Noah...," Reese ordered. He stood now and toppling his chair backwards. It hit the hardwood floor with a crack and he winced but he said nothing. That would be something else he would be paying for. He had been saving up his money for college anyway so he could afford it I supposed.
"Enough," Antonio roared. He was standing now too with his hands on the table top. His finger tops barley touching the wood. Both of us jumped this time and looked over at him. We had certainly been inspiring a lot of anger lately.
"Make up, now or you're both sleeping on the lawn," he warned. I gulped and looked back at Reese now. I knew Antonio would make us sleep on the lawn until we did make up so maybe we could just pretend or something? I saw Reese seemed to be thinking the same thing but at the last second he sighed and brushed a hand through his hair looking guilty.
"She went through you to get to me. I told her I wasn't interested but she said she would humiliate you in front of everyone if I didn't give into her," he admitted softly. I stood quietly looking at Reese as my heart sank. She wasn't into me and she wanted Reese. Now I got it, everyone wanted him. He was handsome and confident and good at everything and I wasn't. I didn't look that great. I had almost zero confidence. I wasn't really good at anything.
"I was trying to protect you Noah; I couldn't just let her hurt you. I'm really sorry," he admitted. His voice was much calmer now. I nodded to his admission feeling cold and awful inside.
As I gripped the table I saw Nick stand and start towards me but I backed away quickly. No, I did not want anyone's pity right now. I just really wanted to be left alone.
"I'm going upstairs," I said. Quickly I turned before anyone could say a word to me. I took off down the hallway and up the stairs to my room shutting the door. I walked towards my desk and slumped down in my chair pulling my math book forward.
It wasn't a surprise really I mean look at Reese. He had a six pack and he was a ladies' man and so were Nick and Tonio. I would never be like them, never be as cool and savvy and confident. I felt like such an idiot. Who would ever want me when you compared their brawn and brains to my nonexistent ones?
"Noah," I heard. I looked up from my desk where I was pretending to do math work. Nick stood in the doorway. His arms were folded across his chest. His anger was now replaced with a look of determination.
"I don't feel like talking Nick," I said. He stepped into the room and shut the door. It figures. When I don't feel like talking they always make me.
"Well I do," he said. He gestured to the bed. I sighed and got up going to sit where he indicated and crossed my arms and legs on the bed looking at the hardwood floor. He walked across the room grabbed my desk chair. Bringing it back he flipped it backwards sitting it in with his arms resting on the back. That was Nick confident and cool no matter what.
"Tell me how your feeling," he began. We both waited in silence for me to speak. Why did I always have to talk about feelings? Why couldn't I just be angry for a while?
"Nick," I groaned. He held up a hand. I rolled my eyes and looked at the bed cover. The black design swirled before my eyes as I tried to control my emotions.
"Tell me how you feel or we'll be sitting here all night," he warned. I mentally sighed this time. I knew he wasn't joking. So I would either be sleeping on the lawn or having an all night meeting with Nick, just great.
"Stupid, ok, I feel stupid and like a dork," I said. I looking over into his trusting brown eyes and knew he would have my back. I knew I could tell him anything and I could trust him not to betray me.
"What else?" he asked. He was getting a feel for where my head was at. I wasn't sure where it was at right now.
"Ashamed," I admitted with my cheeks flaring. I was so ashamed at myself for my own faults. I picked at a piece of loose thread from my comforter as he spoke twirling it around my finger.
"Ashamed?" he asked. I nodded looking down at the bedspread again. I would admit it but I would not look into his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm not like you guys and no matter how much I try to be I can't be cool and savvy and you know a chick magnet. I'm letting you down Nick, I'm really sorry," I said. I heard him growl and I looked up surprised.
"You're not letting me down Noah; you're not a disappointment to me at all. You're a good kid and...," he said. I cut him off angrily. I didn't want to hear about what a good little boy I was. I didn't want to be a little kid anymore.
"That's just it Nick, I'm a good kid is all you can think when you think of me. I'm not cool, or smart or strong. I'm just a sorry little kid to you," I said. I balled my fist in my anger. Would I ever be normal like them?
"No, Noah you're not stupid. You're smart, you're talented, honourable, charming, gentle, humane, and strong-willed. You're strong Noah. You're so strong inside and you don't even see it because you're so busy bashing yourself about your faults," he said. I looked at him as if he was crazy. I was strong?
"Do you think any one of us could have survived with a pack of brutal mutts for half as long as you did, you're a survivor and you're a lot stronger than most of us because of it. Do you think if anyone of us had to see such horrible things as you did in Alaska we'd come out of it half as sane as you did and as you are?" he asked. I had no answers for him.
"Do you think that having a six pack and being able to get any woman your want is all being a werewolf and being in the pack is about? If you do I've been a very poor mentor," he said. I shook my head vigorously.
"No, of course not but you guys are always going out and getting the girls and bragging about it. I have never been able to do that and it makes me feel so inadequate," I admitted. He nodded. To my surprise he had a look of complete understanding.
"I can see that Noah and I'm sorry you felt that way. I wish you had told me," Nick said. I shook my head again. I uncrossed my arms now feeling relaxing in his presence. I had to admit talking was making me feel a bit better.
"No, it just seemed so stupid to feel that way to me. It just seems like maybe I would have been complaining if I admitted it I guess," I shrugged. I felt a bit better with my admission.
"Your feelings are never stupid, never," he said. I shrugged again. Was he telling me this because he was my stand in father and mentor or because he meant it?
"I just wish I could be more like you," I admitted and he laughed. Surprised I looked up at him. Why was wanting to be more like him an insane idea?
"Want me to tell you a secret?" he asked. I nodded now wondering what he would say.
"Most of my life I have felt inadequate to everyone around me. Even though I have confidence in some areas in other areas I still feel like I've been left behind," he admitted. I looked wide eyed at him. I always felt Nick had it all and never felt bad about anything.
"It's true, I never went to college though I could have, I've hardly ever contributed to my father's company, I've never given my father grand kids and I have never had a purpose in life but to spend money. Unlike the other pack members I feel sometimes I contribute nothing to the pack. So yes, I know how you feel but it gets better Noah, I swear," he said. I nodded thinking about what he had said. His admission was a big surprise to me.
"Does that surprise you?" he asked. I nodded as he waited for me to speak. I wasn't sure what to say to this so we waited for a few more moments in silence before I came up with something.
"Yeah, it's just...You're Nick. You're Clay and Elena's best friend, your Tonio's son. You just seem so confident and like you have it all together," I admitted. He nodded seeming unsurprised I had thought this.
"Everything is not always as it seems Noah. You won't be a high school student pup in the pack forever. You'll grow your muscle and your confidence and before you know it you'll be beating me and Reese out for the girls," he said laughing. A wide grin spread across his face and his calming laughter split the air.
"I'd like to think that but you know what Jeremy said. My development will always be delayed because of my F.A.E. It will always affect me so I might not be all those things you say," I countered. He shook his head. Unless he was going to give me steroids he might be surprised though.
"You'll be you and that's all that counts. You're not ugly kid. You're pretty good looking. You're a werewolf it comes with the territory. Plus your smart even if you won't believe it," he said. I had to accept this. Nick was about to say something else when a knock came on the door and Reese stepped in.
"Hey Noah, I just want to apologize for everything. I really just didn't want you to be hurt. You're my brother and I just wanted to protect you," he explained and I nodded. I understood Reese's point of view now. I would have done the same thing if I was him.
"I understand Reese, thanks for looking out for me and I'm sorry too," I smiled. He grinned back. I stood now and met his clenched fist with my own in a fist bump.
"We're cool," he asked. I nodded as he pulled me towards him in a quick guy like hug. We then both brushed it off as nothing and grinned.
"We're cool," I answered. Reese was my pack brother and he was just looking out for me. I understood now. Someday I might be like him and Nick. If I wasn't though I would be ok with that too. Never before had the lesson of what it meant to be a pack brother made me understand more than this. Reese and I were like Clay and Nick. Sometimes we would fight but we were family and that was more important than anything else, especially in the pack.