Disclaimer: This idea belongs to PinkScyther. Now, I know that these are running around all over the Pokemon section but you know what makes mine different? I got her permission!!! Yeah!!

                    Ash's Amazing Directions!!! (At 2:00 a.m.)

(Ash and Hanni B are sitting in Hanni's little, square, pixel house in the little, square, pixel town of Azalea.)

HB: Ash, can you tell me how to get to the kitchen? *to self* This should have some astonishing results.

Ash: Sure!

1) Open the door.

2) Purposely trip over the beast (a.k.a. My dog) and crash down the stairs.

3) Jump into the nearest pickup truck.

4) Stay in the truck until it reaches a nearly abandoned McDonalds.

5) Run in and scream at the top of your lungs, "CHOOKO MOONGO COOKIE BUTT!!!" despite the fact that it is abandoned.

6) Dodge the flying deep fryer.

7) Run 10 miles north, 20 miles west, 62 miles north, and 5 ½ miles east because everyone else is doing it.

8) Kick the next person to look at you bug-eyed.

9) Run from the flying pigs.

10) Run into the nearest shop/building. There you should be at…

Ash: Score?

HB: Oh no…

Ash: Don't worry; I have a mental map in my head!!! I'll get us back home!!!

1) Steal a mo-ped (or whatever they are)

2) Drive out of town.

3) Get into a fight with that dolled up Meowth.

4) Talk to the dude in Ilex Forest who is purposely slamming his head against a tree. (From Gold/Silver)

5) Fall asleep.

6) Wake up.

7) Make like a tree and cover yourself with leaves and branches.

8) Steal the chainsaw guy's car.

9) Realize you can't drive.

10) Bounce painfully down a cliff.

11) Wind up in a non-alcoholic substance. A.k.a…

HB: The Atlantic Ocean???

Ash: Oh, don't worry! I'll get us out of here!!

HB: *sobs*

1) Sit very still until the car is completely submerged in water.

2) Wait until Hanni whacks you over the head for being an idiot.

3) Grab whatever aquatic Pokemon you possess and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!

4) Cling to the next tourist ship.

5) Wind up in California. (I live elsewhere.)

6) Restrain Hanni from taking advantage of the 80% off Lemon Drops.

7) Paint yourself acid green and "Hello Gorgeous" to the next girl/boy/animal/shiny object you see.

8) Pick up a pay phone and call a random number.

9) Say "Hello Clarise," to whoever answers the phone.

10) Attempt to dodge Hanni as she proceeds to whack you with her Charmander plushie.

11) Run as far as you can without tiring.

12) Give a hobo the latest issue of "Etiquette Living".

13) Run until you see a sign bearing Bart and/or Homer Simpson.

14) Buy 10 boxes of rubber bands.

15) Build a giant slingshot.

16) Hurl you and Hanni all the way across the country. You should end up in…

(Crash through the roof of Hanni B's house.)

HB: Wow!!! My kitchen!!!

Ash: Toldja I could get you there!!!

HB: Normally, I'd hug you, but Charmanders are much cuter! *Hugs Charmander Plushie*

(A/n) Okay. I know. They turn out much worse when you actually get to where you want to go. But Ash deserves some credit; even when he gets lost he still gets somewhere… unless he's been knocked unconscious or something like that.

          All writing without Lemon Drops makes Hanni go sane…

          All writing without Lemon Drops makes Hanni go sane…

          All writing without Lemon Drops makes Hanni go sane…

And just for the record, "Chooko Moongo Cookie Butt" is my brother's saying. He made it up, there fore it is rightfully his. Yup. I doubt he's any saner than I am; must run in the family.

Hanni B
          TCLDOW