"Now be a good boy and take your pills...and read your mail; it's been piling up don't you think?"
"No!"
""No what? To the pills or to the mail? And don't bury your head under the covers like a child, for God's sake!" He pulled the bed sheets down as he was getting annoyed.
"Napoleon will you leave me alone for pity's sake. I can take care of myself without you hovering over me like a mother hen!"
"Illya. I got you out of medical and I gave my word to Doctor Greene that you'd behave and take your medicine. Now if you don't, you're going to make me look foolish with the medical staff as well as with Mister Waverly.
Kuryakin looked up at his partner from his sick bed, flashing him a puppy dog look with those blue eyes of his.
It didn't work.
"Did you really think you could con moi with those baby blues of yours?"
"Napoleon, it was worth a try. Will you not let me explain?"
"First take your pills, "Solo gestured towards the bottles sitting on Kuryakin's night table.
Illya rolled his eyes. "That is what I want to explain about."
"Explain away, but then you take your pills."
"I can not take them. Something is wrong. Instead of feeling better by taking the medications, I am feeling worse. I have been feeling light-headed, nauseous and I have vomited several times during the night. Those are not the symptoms one experiences when one is recuperating from a gunshot wound."
Napoleon's demeanor changed instantly. "May I?"
Illya nodded his approval as Solo felt his forehead.
"Well Doctor?"
"Stop...you don't seem to be running a temperature."
"I could have told you that. Napoleon I think there is something wrong with my medication. One is supposed to be an antibiotic, another is B12, one is for pain, another to help me sleep and...the last one, I am not sure what, what…"
Illya suddenly passed out.
Napoleon reacted quickly, trying to get his partner to come to, but without success.
He pulled his communicator. "Channel F-Emergency. I need an ambulance…"
Illya woke up feeling groggy, and his head was spinning.
He was laying in a hospital bed in the Medical suite at headquarters.
Doctor Green was looking down at him, seeming quite concerned.
"Illya, do you remember how many pills you took?"
"Whaaa?"
"One of your pill bottles is empty and some of the medications are not what they're supposed to be. Did you take all those pills."
Kuryakin's eyes rolled back as he lost consciousness again.
Greene made a quick decision to pump Illya's stomach. He inserted a tube down the patient's throat to secure a passageway for breathing, not taking a chance as there was a concern that Illya might vomit.
Next, a plastic tube was inserted into his mouth, running it down Illya's throat until it reached his stomach. Greene pushed some air down the tube to listen and see if the tube made it.
Once the tube was in the stomach, a nurse secured the tube to Illya's mouth with medical tape.
Greene then used a large syringe to push water into the stomach and Illya was rolled over onto his side.
"Stay with me Kuryakin,"Greene growled.
After the fluid was pushed into the stomach, Doctor Greene used a syringe to pull fluid from the stomach.
Partially digested pills came up with the water as the process continued for about twenty minutes.
The goal was to remove any substances before Kuryakin's body absorbed or more of it, since they didn't know how much he'd ingested.
Such a procedure was effective if performed within thirty to sixty minutes from the time of ingestion. Luckily this seemed to be the case.
Kuryakin came around quickly after the stomach pumping was complete and the tubes were quickly removed, though he gagged as they did so.
"Sorry Illya but I'll need you to this to drink. It won't be pleasant, "Green held out a glass containing an oddly colored slushy looking mixture. "It's to make you vomit. We have to make sure as much as possible is out of your system."
Kuryakin gave him an icy glare.
"Don't give me that look. Now drink it."
Illya did as he was told and soon the retching and vomiting began.
Nurse Bettina known better as Nurse Betty, held a receptacle, and applied a cool cloth to Illya's head during the whole process. She was attractive, with big blue eyes and blonde hair. She'd been with UNCLE medical for the last six months.
"Oh you poor things, but don't worry Nurse Betty will take good care of you." She lovingly ran her fingers through his hair. Something Illya didn't really care for but in his current state it was difficult to talk.
When he was finally finished, he rolled to his back, looking and feeling exhausted. The ministrations of Nurse Betty were already forgotten.
It was then Napoleon was permitted in the room as the nurse disappeared with the contents of Illya's stomach, taking it to the lab to be analyzed, along with what had been pumped out.
"How you feeling tovarisch?" Solo pulled up a chair beside the bed, as always.
Kuryakin could barely speak." A bit bruised round the middle and a sore throat. What happened? Last thing I remember was you trying to convince me to take my pills."
"Well I'm glad I didn't succeed. Seems you took a few too many on your own. You overdosed, apparently."
"Impossible."
"You did, that's why they had to pump your stomach, though Doctor Greene said one pill bottle was empty."
"The empty bottle is not the problem,"Illya coughed." I flushed those pills down the toilet. They were the sleeping pills."
Doctor Greene appeared with a medical report in his hands. "Looks like you're in the clear Illya, your blood tests came back good, so whatever was in your system, we seem to have gotten most of it out with the gastric lavage.
Greene checked Illya's pulse and temperature, which were fine.
"What caused the problem?" Napoleon asked.
"Yes Doctor, I did not take the sleeping pills and disposed of them, that is why there was an empty bottle," Illya said.
"Well that's good lab is still analyzing your stomach contents, but I suspect it was these,"the doctor held up one of Illya's pill bottles.
"And…" Napoleon said.
"These are opioids."
"Doctor I do not react well to such medications," Illya said.
"I know and they weren't prescribed for you. Right now Security is looking into how they were given to you as the bottle indicates they were supposed to be antibiotics.
Kuryakin's head dropped back on the pillow; he was beyond tired and just didn't have the concentration to think about this.
"May I just sleep for a bit?"
"Sure."Greene said." He administered a sedative before Illya could argue with him against it.
He turned to Solo. Sleep is the the best thing for him right now. Come on Napoleon, I think it's okay to leave him be. He's in good hands."
Kuryakin was already asleep as Solo gave his partner a final glance before leaving, though his instincts screamed for him to stay at Illya's side.
He nodded to Nurse Bettina as he passed her in the corridor, giving her one of his charming smiles
She lifted her nose in the air, giving him the cold shoulder.
That didn't phase Napoleon in the least as you win some, you lose some…he hadn't had any success with Nurse Walsh either.
Nurse Betty headed into Illya's room, though Solo thought nothing of it.
Once inside she closed the door and drew the curtain around the bed.
Drawing a syringe from her pocket, she uncovered the needle and squeezed a bit of green liquid from it.
She leaned over Kuryakin, preparing to jab him in the neck.
"If I can't have you, then nobody can. Good bye Illya. It was a big mistake ignoring me."
Doctor Greene caught Napoleon before he got on the elevator.
"We have a problem, those pills were handled by Nurse Bettina. She was the who filled the order the medication supply. Nurse Walsh told me that Betty seemed to have some sort of crush on Kuryakin and has been quite put out at Illya not paying attention to her. She even started learning to speak Russian…"
That's all Solo needed to hear; he burst into Illya's room, tackling the woman just as she stuck the needle into his partner's neck.
Though he didn't like hitting women, this time he didn't hesitate and slugged Nurse Betty hard enough to knock her out. She toppled to the floor beside the bed.
Greene charged into the room seconds later, rushing to Illya's side. He removed the syringe, noting that the contents thankfully hadn't been injected into the patient.
"I'll render a guess that his is poison," he mumbled.
The next day Illya woke up, feeling much better, though he had a new sore spot on his neck. He placed his hand on it, rubbing it a little bit.
Solo was sitting in a chair at his bedside, as usual.
"Is it my imagination or are the nurses here becoming a bit careless when giving injections?"
"You have no idea, tovarisch, " Napoleon yawned as he stretched his arms above his head," No idea at all…"
Illya screwed up his face, not quite sure what his partner meant by that at first.
"Did I miss something?" When Napoleon didn't answer he assumed he had a date with one of the nurses that hadn't gone well.
"So what is for breakfast; I am famished," Illya asked.
"Hungry? That's a good sign you're feeling better. I'll see if I can rustle up something nice for you," Napoleon smiled.
"You? Why not the nurse...what is her name? Bettina?"
"She's no longer with UNCLE. I'll see if Nurse Walsh can order something for you."
"Thank you Napoleon."
"Illya you're being awfully calm about being stuck in Medical, are you sure you're feeling better?"
"Yes. I have decided a little bed rest here will do me good and taking a page from your book, it will be nice to have some pretty nurses taking good care of me."
For a split second Napoleon wondered what sort of medication might still be in his partner's system thanks to Nurse Betty. Best to take that up with Doctor Greene...before Illya began his rant to be released.
Solo was sure he would receive a lecture from Greene as well as Mr. Waverly about having busted Illya out of Medical but then again, if he'd remained here Nurse Betty might have succeeded with her murderous scheme.
There would definitely be a discussion about the vetting process of medical personnel, and most likely a psych exam would be added to the list. He cringed at the idea of that, but it just might be necessary in the future...