Griffin rock, start of August
"I have to go."
"What?"
I look down at their reactions. "I need to finish preparations to get you all moved out to Hong Kong."
"Why?"
I kneel to Cody. "Because I can't let them get killed off like Ratchet did, and I'm not splitting anyone else up." I sigh. "Besides, all I have now barely fills a duffel bag. Mearing locked my bank accounts. By America's view, I'm a criminal now, just for defending your kind."
Chase, much to my shock, gives me a sympathetic look before turning to the Chief. "Then are we not criminals for hiding her?"
"You would be." Charlie sighs heavily. "If the woman hunting her wasn't the real criminal."
"What do you mean?"
I look down at the floor, trying to keep my anger in check. I now know why Heatwave acts the way he does about hiding in plain sight. "Attinger hired Lockdown." I growl threateningly. "Mearing ordered what little family I have killed, just because they're alien." My breath hitches. As usual, getting this angry pushes me to tears. "And I can't lose you four too!" I whirl around and bury my face into the plating on Chase's leg. "You guys are all I have left! I can't lose you all again!"
"Wait." Every human turns to glare up at Blades. "Why haven't they come and taken us yet?"
"B-" I look up before running my sleeve over my eyes. "Because, you sacrificed yourself for the island, and Mearing took over again after Attinger died. She should have gone to prison for tyranny. Then you had to be laid up for a week to recover. The town didn't see you, therefore they thought you had actually died." I can't keep my eyes from starting to glow their usual Autobot blue, but I manage to hold back the rest for now. "It was hard enough for me to stay hidden, but losing control of my virtual avatar state would have blown my own cover, and I CAN'T STAND THAT FEMME!"
Heatwave groans. "Sheyenne…"
"WELL, I CAN'T!"
"That's not what he meant." Graham sighs heavily. "You're glowing again."
I look down to find that, yep, I've got a blue glow surrounding me. I take a deep breath, then another, to make it fade, before leaning back against Chase weakly. "Primus!"
"What's wrong?"
I look up to Blades. For some reason, I feel like I know him, but I can't place anything about him but the name, and I'm sure he's not the Bad Boy of the Protectobots. Though I turn to Heatwave for guidance as I used to turn to Ratchet, Blades has become essentially a "Mother figure" to me, even though he's a mech, simply because he worries. "I know how much the Star Healer is like Aang off Avatar the Last Airbender, but do I have to go weak like he does every time I lose control!?"
Heatwave sighs. "I know you think you have to leave to keep us safe, but—"
"Wave, all you have is your fire hose. You're all essentially helpless, especially when the human army has weapons strong enough to fight Decepticons." I look down. "Besides, I'm not leaving to protect you, I'm leaving to finish preparations for you all. I've been making a place for you all to stay, and getting it all set up with a Marshal stationed in Hong Kong. I've got a friend there who's helping me—and soon, she'll be helping all of us."
That night, shatterdome
I hear the now-familiar alarms go off. Rather than try to investigate, or learn who's being sent out, I lock the door and cower in the corner. I hate kaiju, and I now have nothing to do that will keep me occupied. I don't have anything I can do on my own in their suites, I don't have a patient who needs me, and I don't have Ratchet to calm me down.
The simple thought of the missing medic causes me to cry, and I bury my face in my knees. I move one hand to rest it over my spark. It hurts, so badly, but I can't let myself get too upset. I have to fight against the spark-break. The Rescue Bots need me, the Burns are depending on me, and Primus slag it if I'm going to desert them in their darkest hour! I became a Green Lantern for a reason!
"Sheyenne, it's Raleigh!"
I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes with my sleeve, then answer the comm without even a trace of my panic or heartache. "What's wrong, Rals?"
"Gipsy chased the RABIT again! She's hurt!"
"Calm down. I'm on my way."
I burst through the doors and into the medical bay. I'm wearing my usual pink fatigue pants, but I've got a pink camo long sleeved shirt and a pink scrub top on instead of my usual T-shirt and jacket. "All right, let me see."
"Sorry if we interrupted anything."
I scoff. "Nothing but me making a fool out of myself."
"What?"
"I cowered in a corner. I hate kaiju, and I'm not very brave when I don't have something to focus on. I did the same thing in Chicago."
"Chicago?"
I nod weakly to the jaeger I'm in the middle of repairing. Because they're techno-organic, I'm the only medic capable of helping them—that, and Kaiju Blue doesn't affect me, either. Of course, we don't know if it's because of the Star Healer or because I'm Cybertronian. "Yeah. You know I'm a Ranger, just like Raleigh." She nods. "I fought in the battle in Chicago, with the Autobots. I'd gone there before they sealed off the city, so I was the only one there. I didn't strike during the night because it was a death sentence, and I got scared, and hid, in the middle of the fight. If Bee hadn't been about to be killed…" I reach up to touch my Lantern ring, where it hangs on my neck. "I never would have gotten this."
"A Green Lantern ring?"
I nod to Raleigh before turning to Gipsy. "Was it Yancy again?" She nods, causing me to hug her. Losing Yancy has given her nightmares when she's not in the field, and causes her to chase the RABIT when she is. "Trust me, I understand."
She looks up to me from where she's laying on the table. "How could you?" Her tone is bitter, not that I blame her. I haven't taken the time to talk with anyone but Mako, but I know she shares everything with Raleigh.
Raleigh glares at her. "Apologize, Gipsy."
I shake my head before wiping a tear out of my eye. "She's fine, Rals. She doesn't know."
"Know what?"
I let her sit up, since I'm done, and sit beside her. It's all I can do to keep my emotions in check. It's still not easy to talk about. "H-his name, was Ratchet. He…he was my Guardian, Gipsy. It's kind of like an adoptive parent to those who came from the well. He'd been mine since I was fifteen." I blink quickly, trying to hold back the tears even as they try to fall. My throat, as always, gets sore from my efforts, but there's nothing I can do about that. "He died, four years ago, before I ever came here."
"Before we met."
I nod. Gipsy was the only sentient jaeger when I first arrived, and only Raleigh and I knew. "Right." I turn to Raleigh. "Fighting here in Hong Kong, against KSI's Decepticon clones, was harder than anything I've had to do before, because I'd lost Ratchet a few days before." I turn back to Gipsy. "I'm sure you remember how close Mako would stick to me when she wasn't with you and Rals, and how often I went into the city, and even across the bridge? How I never worried about kaiju, or anything?"
She nods. "Why?"
I stand, and motion for her to follow me. Though Raleigh saw me trek through the base, struggling to carry the frame I had rescued from KSI, damaged severely, with one leg severed and on his chest and stomach plating, he still chooses to follow us. Most of Ratchet's damage had been from Lockdown, but some of it was from KSI, before I got there. Even I know I was damn lucky to have been able to sneak him out, and into a trailer. After we beat KSI, I just retrieved the frame, and flew it out to Hong Kong on one of the military's C-17's. I fight to blink back the tears, even as they start to fall. "Gipsy Danger, meet my guardian."
"What are you doing with him?" Raleigh glares at her. "I meant why is he here? You know, why didn't she bury him?"
I sigh before shifting into my Cybertronian form and returning to my job, trying to attach his leg. After ten, I usually stop working on his frame, because my emotions tire me out, but since I'm in here, I'm going to at least try to finish. I've got the internal done, so now, I'm down to the external repair. His frame is still riddled with bullet holes, his helm is still damaged, and the armor either missing, or damaged too severely to salvage. Though I know Gipsy is scared of fire, I have nothing but the inferno to use. His Medikit, while present, is far too large for me as a human, and I can't bring myself to use it in my Cybertronian form. It's just too hard… "Because, I can't survive spark-break forever, Gips. That's all there is to it. The Autobots need me too much, and if I'm gonna survive this, I have to bring him back."
"You can do that?"
I lay a hand over my chest plates, and nod. "I was able to save his spark, but it can't stay on-line indefinitely. He's fading, Gips." My frame shakes with silent sobs. "I'm not losing him again. I can't." I sit on the other medical berth and cover my faceplates. "I need him, too much, to let him die just yet. I'm only twenty-seven. I'm not ready to die yet. I've barely lived."
Raleigh lays a hand on my foot. "It's okay."
"How do you know? You didn't—oh…"
Raleigh and Gipsy glare up at me. "Yeah, oh."
I sigh before shifting back down to my human form. "Sorry, you two. Sometimes I forget everyone's been through some kind of loss…" And I do. With my Asperger's, it can't be helped. Sometimes I have too much empathy, sometimes I have almost none. It just depends on the day and what's on my mind.
hong kong shatterdome, 1½ weeks later
I sigh as I walk through the halls. I've got our rooms finished, and the medical bay ready, and functional. Thankfully, there hasn't been another attack, because the one from almost two weeks ago still has me shaken. I'm staying here, this time, until we get a call from Optimus. The Rescue Bots are safe for now, and Bumblebee knows to keep his head down. I don't have to worry about my team… For now, it's just me. I've never felt so alone, or helpless. To make it worse, I've got a song that spells out my entire life story. I'm listening to it right now, actually. Since it just came on, I start to sing. The one thing about me that losing Ratchet hasn't changed, even though losing my grandmother changed it.
I've been left out alone like a damn criminal
I've been praying for help cause I can't take it all
I'm not done,
It's not over.
Now I'm fighting this war since the day of the fall
And I'm desperately holding on to it all
But I'm lost
I'm so damn lost
Oh I wish it was over,
And I wish you were here
Still I'm hoping that somehow
'Cause your soul is on fire
A shot in the dark,
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
I breathe underwater
It's all in my hands
What can I do?
Don't let it fall apart
A shot in the dark
In the blink of an eye
I can see through your eyes
As I'm lying awake I'm still hearing the cries
And it hurts
Hurts me so bad
And I'm wondering why I still fight in this life
'Cause I've lost all my faith in this damn bitter strife
And it's sad
It's so damn sad
Oh I wish it was over,
And I wish you were here
Still I'm hoping that somehow
'Cause your soul is on fire
A shot in the dark,
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
I breathe underwater
It's all in my hands
What can I do?
Don't let it fall apart
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
I feel you fading away
I feel you fading away
I feel you fading away
I feel you fading away
'Cause your soul is on fire
A shot in the dark,
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
I breathe underwater
It's all in my hands
What can I do?
Don't let it fall apart
Oh, your soul is on fire
A shot in the dark,
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
I breathe underwater
It's all in my hands
What can I do?
Don't let it fall apart
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
Chicago was my first battle as a Ranger, after all, and the day Cybertron was destroyed—blown up—in the space bridge. Some may think it's over for us, but I know it's not. My hope may be at its lowest ever, but I still know we have hope. I'm just…lost. I want Ratchet back—not just his spark, but to have him here to tell me if I'm doing something wrong. I want Optimus back, so I don't have to be the commanding Prime anymore. I'm no leader, after all.
I lie awake at night, still hearing the cries, the shots, the explosions, from Chicago, and I wonder if this is how Bluestreak felt. He and I were best friends, after all, and he was killed. I, being human, was waiting in the Willis Tower for the battle to begin, but I knew I had to wait out the initial attack. Because I did… They can blame Cemetery Wind on me, because I didn't strike back right away—because I value my life. All my child-like faith in the Autobot cause itself is gone, but I still believe in freedom being everyone's right. I always have, and I always will.
I even felt Ratchet leaving me, and I can still feel his essence fading from my spark, and from his own, with a newer bond replacing him. I wish I knew who, but I don't. Such is life.
I'm the only soldier with an entirely pink wardrobe, but I guess Lennox didn't want to fight with me about my choice of color. Maybe I reminded him of Annabelle…
Right now, I'm wearing my usual pink fatigues, complete with matching combat boots. My jacket is tied around my waist, revealing a pink T-shirt, while the rest of my uniform is pristine. Summers in Hong Kong get almost as hot as they do back in Griffin Rock.
I look up from the sand by the shore when I hear a beep, and tap my comm. "Sheyenne here."
"Starlight, it is Optimus Prime. I will reach DC in three days. Be ready."
"I am, Sir. I've been preparing for it since you left. Everything is ready."
"You know we do not like hearing our youngest so calm."
"I don't have much to be happy about, Sir. Without Blue… Without Ratch…"
"I understand. Prime out."
I look out over the ocean. It's starting. Maybe, this time, we'll be able to end this war, the right way.