The Beginning of the Rest

I don't own these characters; I just like to spend time with them. No other profit to be had.

Author's Note: This is a continuation of the short little story called The End of Nineteen. When I originally wrote that, I expected it to be the end of that particular story line, but my friend Janie asked me to continue. So Janie this is for you. I hope you're not disappointed.

Also I have to give thanks to my friends LJ and LadyBrit as well as Janie for their input and advice on this fic. They are absolutely the best friends a person could have.

Before you ask, yes covered wagons were still in use during this time period.

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Newlywed, Kate Adams, sat on the seat of the covered wagon and beamed a beautiful smile up at her husband Matthew. The ride was rough and uncomfortable but every turn of the wheel got them just a little closer to their new home in Nebraska and Kate was willing to endure almost anything to get there.

Though 6 months pregnant with her first child and definitely over prime child bearing age, Kate had insisted they continue this trip and had refused any suggestion that would delay it. She wanted to be in her own home when the baby came, not a dingy hotel in some dry nameless little town or out in the middle of nowhere.

Matthew, though greatly concerned for his wife's welfare as well that of his child, understood that feeling. He too wanted them to be settled although his reasons had to do more with the safety of his family than anything else.

"You doing okay?" Matthew returned the smile as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

Kate nodded smilingly. "I'm fine. I'll be even better when we get there."

Matthew nodded. "Yeah, me too. But it won't be long. The way we've been traveling we should be there in about two more days."

"Can't be too soon for me." Kate remarked.

A crease of concern formed on Matthew's brow. "Are you sure you're alright? I mean we can take a break if you want, maybe camp for a couple of days."

Kate shook her head. "No," she insisted. "I do not want to delay one more moment in getting there. Honestly, I'm fine, just anxious is all. Once we get there, I'll have a lot of things to do to get us settled in before the baby comes."

Matthew nodded in understanding. "Well, maybe. But I don't want you overdoing it. There's nothing more important than you and this baby. Anything that doesn't get done before the baby gets here can wait."

Kate smiled at his concern and reached up and kissed him. "Did I ever tell you that I love you, Matthew Di…er..Adams?"

Matthew's face turned somber. "Yes you have," he replied. "And I'm grateful for that but you're going to have to be careful when we get around people. I mean one slip…."

"I know," she interrupted him. "I know. But this isn't easy, Matthew? I mean a new life, a new name, pregnancy and a new husband all in the space of a few months. If we hadn't agreed to keep our first names simple I'm not sure I'd remember them."

Matt chuckled. "Yeah, I'm with you on that one, and I know there's been a lot of changes in a short period of time, but it'll be better once we get settled."

Kitty nodded before looking away. As happy as she was about the baby and Matt and their new life together, the fears and doubts still plagued her. The what if's that made sleeping at night difficult sometimes.

What if something happened to the baby? Would Matt still want her?

What if he grew restless and wanted his old life back? She knew he would stay with her out of obligation if nothing else. But she also knew he'd be miserable. Would he grow to hate her and the baby for keeping him from the life he had loved?

What if, despite everything, something happened to Matt? What would she do then?

What if she proved unfit to be a mother and a wife? How would Matt feel towards her then?

She, of course, had never spoken of these fears to Matt. She didn't want to give voice to them or burden him down with them. But they were there none the less. And they cast a shadow on what would have otherwise been the happiest time of her life.

Unknown to her, Matt had his own fears, his own what if's.

What if his old enemies found them anyway and he couldn't protect Kitty and his child? How would he go on with that kind of failure?

What if he proved to be a dismal failure at being a husband and father? Kitty had had other options, other men who could've done a lot more for her than he could. And she had grown used to a certain easy way of life in Dodge as a business woman. Would she grow to resent him if life proved to be harder than they expected?

Like Kitty, though, Matt kept his fears and doubts to himself. He could not and would not say anything to cause her any uneasiness about this new venture in their lives. Kitty meant the world to him.

Giving his wife one more hug, Matt slapped the reins against the horse's flanks and kept the team moving northward. Ever heading away from their old life and on towards their new one.

TBC