I'll Be An Angel
By: Alex
"You're dying."
It seemed so simple for her to say, for all the nurses and doctors to
comprehend, for everyone in the world to understand. Except me.
My mother sat next to the hospital bed, her hand shaking on top of
mine.
"I k-know this sounds scary b-but you'll be alright with- with-"
"With the angels, mommy?"
I studied my mother's tear-struck face. Fatigue from the long nights
spent in the hospital filled the heavy bags under her eyes. Stress
from her full-time job at her insurance agency while dealing with my
'illness' showed in her blood-shot eyes. My poor mother had been
through it all. Even through to the end now, I suppose.
"Yes, the angels my dear... When you see those pearly white gates I
want you to say hello to Grandma for me," My mother whispered in my
ear. Tears sprung to my eyes, but I sniffed them up. I've done enough crying.
Her wrinkled hand lingered on mine as she removed herself from the room.
The rest of the family stood on the opposite side of the big
glass window. All were crying. I looked away, unable to get over the
fact I would die in less than 10 hours. If I had been strong enough to
move, I would have shouted at the doctors.
"You can't put someone's life on the clock! There's no limit to life!"
But that would have had no effect.
I weakly grinned as the doctor entered the room, closing the blinds to
the glass window behind him.
"How do you feel, Rain?"
"Like crap, Dr. Uchiha." I replied, ruffling my sheets as he pulled up a
chair. He smiled.
"Call me Itachi."
I nodded at him and stared at the blocked window. He cupped my chin
and made me face him.
"They will all get rooms to sleep in and such, don't worry about
them." Itachi reassured. I smiled. He always knew what I was thinking.
"Itachi?"
"Hm?"
"How will I die, again?"
Itachi's face darkened at the word 'die'.
"You really want to know?" I nodded weakly.
"First, your nervous system will shut down because of the medicine we gave you.
We want you to feel as less pain as you can," He started. I nodded, telling him to continue.
"Then, the cancer that is in your red blood cells will attract your
immune system. Your immune system will then try to destroy all the of
the cancer by destroying your internal organ in the process. In the
end, you will bleed to death from the inside."
Itachi was holding me now as I sobbed into his shirt.
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" I screamed. Itachi rubbed my back and stroked my hair.
"I know, I know...shh..shhh...it's alright."
"First time you went swimming?"
"Easy. Uncle Joey's above ground pool, June 23rd 2003."
"You were swimming when you were six?"
"Sister pushed me in."
"Oh!"
Itachi let out a soft chuckle and I laughed with him. It was 10:30pm.
7 more hours of life. 7 more hours of breathing, thinking, and grieving.
"First words?" He inquired. I smiled.
"Dabby."
"What happened when your older sister met you?" I laughed again.
"She was talking so loud that I covered my ears! I was a smart baby!" I
giggled. Itachi patted my head.
"How about...the outdoors?"
"What about them?" I questioned.
"How do you feel about Nature?" I stared at the cieling in thought.
"I always felt that I had a special connection with it actually. Like,
this one time when I was 6 or 7, a blackbird hurt its wing and fell
near my swing set. When I found it, still alive, I placed it in a shoe
box and brought it to my mother. "Oh my, what a shame," She had said.
"Lets help it have a peaceful death." So me and my mother took tons of
flowers and filled up the shoe box. The bird had then closed its eyes
and I burst out crying. "It's sleeping honey. The birdies sleeping."
My mother said. "So when will it wake up?" I asked. "It'll wake when
the angels let it." Every since then, whenever I encountered a dead
or dying animal, I always prayed to the angels to let it wake up."
Itachi was crying now, wiping away stray tears and I smiled.
"When I die Itachi, will you pray for me?" He was stunned for a moment, taking in my words.
"Yes. Yes I will." I nodded and squeezed his hand with fear.
The lights in the hospital room shined brightly, making my eye sight
hazy. The bed I was on was being fastly wheeled down endless white
hallways, all which were filled with muffled screams and shouts. My
body was numb, and my senses were blocked, but I could make out onw
face in the room filled with doctors.
Itachi.
"Get the ... Move this...Wash the..."
Snippets of the shouts made their way into my ears. Doctors rushed
from all around me, nurses hooking up liquids to my arm and Itachi.
Itachi was standing over me, caressing my face. I gave him a smile and
tear from his eyes hit my cheek. Then I knew.
It was time.
The room cleared in less than a minute or two. I couldn't really grasp
the situation, due to the drugs, but I knew it was just me, Itachi,
and my family. Suddenly, the pain started. It felt as if little bombs
were going off in my veins. I rehearsed what Itachi told me inside my
head.
"The immune system will attack your vital organs. The white blood cells
will attack the red blood cells and they will start to die. You will
bleed to death from the inside out."
The pain got worse and my face scrunched up. Itachi held my hand a my
family sobbed from just looking at me. Pain exploded in my abdomen and
I wanted to scream. Somehow, my voice found me.
"AHHH!"
Itachi looked horrified as I thrashed back and forth, blood covering the sheets.
"The bodies trying to get rid of the blood..." Itachi explained to no
one in particular. I vomited blood onto the white sheets, Itachi
holding me up. I can't take it.
"I-I don't want to die!" I said. I vomited more blood and my eye sight
went black. I understood. My brain was shutting down. My hearing shot and my body went numb.
I could still hear my mother's wails, my sisters cries and Itachi's words filling my
head. The numbness turned to darkness.
"I will pray for you."