Front door locked? Check.
Windows shut? Check.
Homework done? Check.
Check. Check. Check…
The mental checklist ticking off tasks one by one until finally, I gently lowered myself into the bathtub, filled to the brim with water so hot I hiss in pain. But that didn't matter. The precious pills were finally kicking in.
Simple headache pills when taken in large doses, I find, are extremely helpful.
The water began to cool around me. I lost feeling in my toes, my head going blank. 'Ah yes, finally.'
To be free, that's what this is to me.
Lying in my glorious tub of water, semi-conscious and unable to think.
Readjusting in the warm water I bit my lip in pain when I bumped a bruise on a breast. It was small but blinding pain shot through me. He'd been rougher yesterday than ever before.
Of course, I daren't complain or make any sound of discomfort. The guy was a giant softie who would kick himself black and blue if he knew how much he hurt me. At least, that's what I tell myself…
A watery image drew salty tears from my eyes as my muscles relaxed slowly in the water. He was there, the sight of him making me want to smile. But she was there too…'Just friends…' he'd said.
"Just friends?" I whisper to myself.
I'm slipping away…consciousness is fading…feels like my heart is slowing down too…I don't hear anything but the water rippling…darkness envelopes me…
Yes…my mind is clear…my body is light…this is good…this is great...I am happy...so very happy…
Tears are running down my cheeks…I think of them as little droplets of stress and exhaustion leaving me.
Once they fall, I am free. I am falling and floating. I am drowning yet breathing.
I giggle, I am crazy, I must be.
But its okay, I'll wake up in an hour. Cold, swollen eyes, bruised breast.
And I shall make dinner.