"Lord Commander!" said Olly, panting as he ran into Jon's chambers. "It's one of the wildlings you brought back. Says he knows your uncle Benjen. Says he's still alive!"

Jon jumped to his feet. "You sure he's talking about Benjen?"

"Says he's the first ranger!" said Olly, as Jon ran out of the room. "Says he knows where to find him!"

As he ran down the stairs, Jon met with Allister Thorne. "Man says he saw your uncle at Hardhome, last full moon," said Allister.

"Could be lying," said Jon.

"Could be, but we have ways to find out," said Thorne, sounding vaguely anxious.

Jon pushed through some men of the night's watch, until he came up to a sign that read "TRAITOR". He looked at it for a moment, before turning around and being stabbed by Ser Allister.

"For the- AGHHHHH!" screamed Ser Allister, as a thin sword shot through his stomach. All the men of the Watch draw the swords, looking at the cloaked swordsman.

"What do we say to the god of death?" asked Syrio Forel, first sword of Braavos. Suddenly, a piercing screech echoes overhead, and Jon looks up to see Daenerys Targaryen riding on the back of Drogon.

"NOT TODAY MOTHER FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!" screamed Daenerys as she torched the men of the Night's Watch, laughing manically. As the Watch burns in agony, Tyrion Lannister and Arya + the Hound ride up on the backs of Rhaegal and Viserion.

The wall suddenly starts to melt, and Stannis Baratheon - newly wed husband of Ramsay Bolton - appears, and with him rides Robb Stark (with Greywind's head). Then they all fly off to have an amazing 10 million $ battle with the White Walkers.

"FOR THE MOTHER FUCKING WATCHHHHHH!" shouted Robb. Then ACDC suddenly starts playing magically, and Iron Man joins in the fight, with all the Avengers + Jaqen. They all charge the White Walkers, and at the head of Stannis' huge army ride a petrified Joffrey, Walder Frey and Roose Bolton (all having shit themselves).

Then they all had a massive orgy with Ygritte and Oberyn. The End.

Epilogue: Ned, who is in fact God in disguise, looked down at the scene, smiling warmly.