The tears streamed down Tauriel's face. She had only known him briefly in her long life but he had captured her heart and filled it with such awe and wonder that she knew she would never feel the same again. She slipped the rune stone into his fingers, clutching his hand to her own. It was still warm, and as she brought it up to her heart and pressed her lips to his fingers she could not stop the tears that overflowed her eyes. She had saved his life, over and over, only to lose him in the end. To see the light slowly fade from his eyes, and for him to be forever lost to her, was an agony that she could not bare. He had died coming to her aid. Blog had been about to kill her with a final blow when Kili had leapt from the top of the stairs onto his back to help her. But he had been no match for Blog. Tauriel had tried to save him when Blog raised his weapon, but she was tossed off like a rag doll, and could only watch in horror as the spear went through his body. And in his final moments, his eyes found hers and they expressed all of the love he had for her, and the deep regret that their time together had been so brief. Tauriel cried out as she watched the light fade from his eyes, and them slowly close forever.
How long she stayed over his body she did not know. She could not bear the idea of never seeing his face again. To her every part of him was perfect. His stubbly beard, while very sparse in dwarvish standards, made his face seem more rugged. She thought back on their brief time together, and how precious each memory was to her now. She did not even look up when Thranduil approached, she had no desire to look at the scorn upon his face. Kili looked as if he was only sleeping, but Tauriel could not hold on to such hope. "I want to burry him." It was a simple statement, but one that sealed the inevitably reality of what was to come. "Yes" was all that Thranduil replied, but there was no anger or reproach in his voice, only pity. "If this is love, I do not want it. Take it from me, please." She looked up at him begging, the ache in her chest had only began to grow. She did not know how she could live with such a pain, how she could go on living in the world, with her life never ending. It was the reason that elves guarded their hearts and often seemed cold to the world; for while the mortals grew, lived, and died, the elves continued on. But somehow Kili had managed to slip past her defenses and had filled her heart with such joy, and now such sorrow. "Why does it hurt so much?" She questioned. "Because it was real." Thranduil's answer struck her to the core. She had kept her feelings hidden the best she could, locked away, as if she didn't show them then her parting from him would not hurt. But he had seen through it, that day on the lakeshore. She had pretended not to know what his words meant, but he knew that she did. Amrâlimê. My love. He had been unafraid of his feelings for her, even though he knew what the could cause. Tauriel knew that she would never see the world the same without him, laughter and joy were gone from her world without the mirth that emanated from him. She slowly bent down and pressed her lips to his, one final goodbye.
She stayed with the dwarves long enough for them to honor the dead and fallen. They had found her next to Kili, her hand still wrapped around his, and had looked on her with only sorrow. With Gandalf's persuasion, she was permitted to attend the funeral for the King and his nephews. The tears had not stopped falling and ran unabashed down her face. She listened as the dwarves sang their songs of mourning. Their deep voices echoing in the vast halls of Erebor. If she closed her eyes, she could imagine it was the mountain itself who was grieving the loss of the line of Durin. She watched as they placed Kili in a tomb of stone, his bow across his chest, and his sword in his hand. The dwarves sealed the tombs and carved the inscriptions at the foot of the tomb. Tauriel quickly made her way out of the underground city and up into the fresh air outside the mountain. Night had fallen, and the stars shined in the sky. Tauriel made her way up the mountain, and found a secluded area. She laid back and stared up at the stars. The stars seemed to twinkle back at her and held all of the memories that she had shared with Kili.
She had saved his life from the very beginning, from the spiders in the forest while he was screaming for a dagger. She had had such little faith in the trustworthiness of dwarves then, having only the bias and hatred of her people long taught to her. But oh how she had been wrong. Even with how the elves had treated them Kili had only ever treated her with curiosity, kindness, and humor. He had almost made her smile when he asked why he wasn't being searched and that he could have anything down his trousers. She could tell right away that there was a spirit of joy and mirth about him, even in the darkest of places he could find a reason to smile.
He had shared with her stories of his travels. Of the bright red fire-moon that he had witnessed, and all of the wonders that he had seen that she could only begin to imagine. He had lived the adventure that she had always dreamed of having.
She had watched on while he jumped out of his barrel, unarmed, in order to help save his brethren. And when he was shot in the leg, she had come to his aid. Shooting the orcs that descended upon him, and watching on as he painfully rolled into his barrel.
She remembered the dread and the fear in hearing the words from the orc that they had shot Kili with a morgul blade, knowing that this meant certain death if he wasn't helped. She had gone after them, without any hesitation. She had found him so close to death, the poison spreading into his soul. She had blessed the Valar when one of the dwarves had come in with Athelas. Tauriel was given the choice, follow Legolas, her prince, and her closest friend, or stay and save the life of the dark haired dwarven archer. She knew there was little to consider in the matter. Her heart had told her to stay and save him.
She had breathed a sigh of relief when he was past the danger. But when he had said her name, in a dreamlike state of delirium, she had turned to look at him thinking something was wrong. She had told him to lay still, not wanting him to hurt himself further. What he had said to her next had taken her breath away "You cannot be her, she is far away, she is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world. It was just a dream." His hand had reached up for hers and when their fingers had touched, she felt the warmth spread through her whole body, her heart beating wildly in her chest. "Do you think she could have loved me?" She looked upon his face, so pure and honest and was about to respond when the dwarves had come back in the room, and she had quickly pulled away. What would she have said if things had been different, Tauriel wondered.
On the shores of Laketown he had asked her to come with him. And she had pushed him away, told him that she couldn't go with him. But he told her he was not afraid of his feelings for her and professed his love to her. Called her Amrâlimê. She had claimed not to know the meaning, but the smile on his face and the joy in his eyes as he told her "I think you do" told her he saw through her carefully built defenses around her heart. She had the words on her lips, that she would go with him, her love her him in her heart. But she heard her prince approach behind her, and had locked those feelings away. Kili could see her hesitation and her struggles, and had given her his rune stone. "Keep it, as a promise" A promise that she would come back to him. Out of all those she had known in her hundreds of years of life, he was the first to truly understand her. He knew that he couldn't tie her down, force her to come with him. But he let her go, knowing in his heart that she would always come back for him.
That was her last happy memory with him, and even it was tinged with sorrow. She wondered if it would have turned out differently if she had followed him onto that boat. Most likely Thorin would have thrown Kili out of the mountain, a traitor and an outcast, banished much like herself. He could have been still alive. No. Tauriel thought, that alone would have hurt him so deeply he would have never been the same. The stars seemed to be calling to her, bathing her in memory. He was gone, lost to her and her heart was filled with grief. She wondered if what the elves thought of the dwarves was true, that they returned to the stone they were made of when they died. Tauriel hoped in the depth of her heart that it wasn't true. She says a silent prayer to the Valar, begging them that she might give up her immortality and her place in Aman. Tauriel has no desire to sail to the undying lands where she will feel no sorry, and her memories will fade. Even with the sorry, she would rather have the memories of Kili close in her heart. Nienna, the Queen of the Valar and of grief and mourning heard Tauriel's prayers and granted them. Taurels closed her eyes and let out a sight, surrendering to the call of the stars.
She awakens to the smell of the sea and a light breeze on her face. There was a peace to this place, but the sadness still weighed on her heart. She felt a gently stroke on her face and turned her head away, not ready to face the pain that still ached in her heart. "Where am I?" she breathed. "You are in the Halls of Mandos, my love." That voice. Tauriel knew that voice, but it was almost too good to be true. Her eyes shot open and she sat up. Kili stood by her side, smiling down at her. He was just as she had seen him last, but he was alive, breathing, looking at her with such love in his eyes. "This cannot be real, I am dreaming." Kili was dead and gone, lost to her forever. She reached out and brushed his face with the back of her hand, the stubble scraping her skin. He caught her hand in his, bringing it to his lips, chuckling, "I remember a time not to long ago that I thought the same." She marveled at him, "But how can it be? The elves always said that the dwarves turned to stone." Kili laughs, the sound of it ringing in her ears and filling it with a joy that she had thought was all but lost. "And the dwarves believe that all elves are cold, distant, and uncaring, but they are wrong. No, Amrâlimê, Mahal made a place for us in the Halls of Mandos where we can feast until the end of the world when we will help Aule rebuild the earth. Although we are not strictly confined to those rooms mind you. I could feel your presence and slipped away to meet you." He grinned, and Tauriel could take it no longer. She swooped down, and taking his face in her hands, brought her lips down to his own. He responded quickly, his hands wrapping around her drawing her close to him. The sorrow that had been in Tauriel's heart was filled with a blinding joy. Once they pulled away, there was laughter on her lips and a smile on his face. "Mela en' coiamin" she whispered, opening her heart overflowing with the love that she felt for him. Kili held his hand out to her "Come, I would like to show you more, there are sights that are a wonder to behold." And as her fingers entangled in his own, Tauriel let him pull her into the halls, and she knew that she had found happiness in eternity.
Author's Note:
Mela en' coiamin = love of my life
I felt like the story in the movie kind of left off and left us wondering what happened to Tauriel after Kili's death. I did a lot of research into if it was even possible for the two of them to meet in the afterlife and this is what I came up with. Also, I figured this could also explain how Legolas was able to take Gimli to the undying lands, because like how Arwen gave up her place allowing Frodo to journey there, Tauriel giving up her place allows Gimli to travel there later. I've been itching to get this out for a while, and I didn't proof read, so be gentle, if you catch anything super bad I'll go back and fix it.