Dedicated to Catzi

Do you eat geese?

Geese are a real pain in the ass. And in today's story, children, you'll hear why.

Bakura, yes, the evil one, was never killed. No. As a matter of fact, he got his own body and lived a happy go lucky life shoplifting. What? Would you give up being a thief just because it's not gold anymore? It's a part of him. Accept it.

Anyways, as I was saying, Bakura lives normally now in Domino City. He doesn't like cute little Ryou Bakura, and I don't know this ex-spirits actual name so you will be expected to work with me and put up with the names I use.

Now, Bakura likes round objects. No real reason for this; he just does. So, being the thief he is, stole a lovely round ball from a store just across the street from Kaiba Corp. Yes, this little store as just about everything, incase you were wondering. So he left the store bouncing the ball on the ground as though it were a basketball. It was not, however, a basketball. It was a dodge ball and I believe this should be considered a felony to use a specific ball the wrong way.

But it's not. So I should probably continue on, no?

As I was saying, the dodge ball bouncer Bakura was making his way down the street. No one had seen him leaving with said ball, because he is very good at stealing. His plan was quite good. Let's go back a ways and see it.

FLASHBACK

Bakura was loitering around outside the small market which was just near Kaiba Corp. Inside was a nice bouncy red ball, which was what Bakura was planning on taking. He peeked inside, to make sure the ball was still where he had been watching it be. He then slowly walked inside, attempting to be casual.

Bakura went and walked around the ball a few times, glancing over at the cashier every few seconds to see where he was looking. At that moment, when Bakura looked up for the fifth time, the cashier had disappeared under the counter. Bakura took this chance to steal the ball.

He grabbed the red ball and stuffed it up his shirt. Just after he did so, the cashier stood back up and smiled at him. Yes, you'd assume the cashier would notice, but Bakura is so feminine, the cashier assumed he was a pregnant woman.

Bakura forced a smile back, and hurried out. As he left the store, on the ground outside was a small, watchful creature.

FLASHBACK END

So yeah. That's how it happened. Now he's wandering down the street. And for your information, he's still being watched.

As Bakura walked down the street, happily bouncing his ball, Malik appeared.

Yes, Malik Ishtar; the girly looking Egyptian who wears a purple belly shirt.

Malik is somewhat friends with Bakura now. Not that they really get along since Bakura is an asshole and Malik became a nice happy Yugi lover. Yes, Malik joined the love group.

Anyways, Malik came up and stared at the ball. Bakura stopped walking and stopped bouncing his stolen ball.

"Yes?" Bakura asked. The two were standing in front of a rickety looking fence and house. The yard was ugly and old looking and there was the faint smell of poultry.

Malik stared at the ball longer. He finally spoke.

"Can I bounce the ball?" he asked, looking a tad bit entranced by the nice, red, stolen ball.

Before Bakura could say no and shove him out of the way, so he could continue his ball bouncing in peace, something odd happened.

What? You didn't expect something odd? Are you stupid? Of course something odd happened. Sheesh. Now shut up and let me continue.

Where was I? Oh yes. Something odd.

The watchful creature suddenly launched itself at Bakura making him tumble over and toss the ball to the side. The ball bounced over the rickety fence and through the open gate into the back yard.

Bakura leapt up, a bit fidgety, and looked around for his attacker. He was completely prepared to kill. Malik on the other hand was laughing insanely.

"You were just attacked by a squirrel!" Malik said as best as he could while laughing. Bakura glared at him and kept looking. Finally, on the roof of the horrible house, Bakura saw the squirrel.

"Where'd the ball go?" Bakura questioned, a bit freaked out at the sudden realization that his beloved ball was gone.

"Bounced into the back yard," Malik said calmly. "Just steal another one."

But Bakura could not just steal another one. This was the greatest ball. It was the best. And he only wanted the best. Not some second-rate ball.

Yes, Bakura is a twit.

Meanwhile, on the roof of the house, was Filipe. Now, Philipe has, what one would call, the mind of a human. He hates stealing, and he had seen Bakura do it. He spends his days watching stores and punishing shoplifters by ferociously attacking them. Then he goes back to his one true love.

Ahem.

Anyways, Bakura made his way into the back yard in hopes of retrieving his ball. Once he entered the back yard, he noticed a large flock of geese pecking at the ball. Bakura went to turn around, figuring he could make Malik do it for him. The moment he turned to face the large gate door, Philipe had somehow closed it.

...Shut up. Not only can a magician not reveal his secrets, a squirrel can't either. And it wouldn't be fair for me to ruin it. So bite me and let me get on with the story.

Bakura was about to jump over the gate, which was quite high and could take some time; however, the geese were suddenly facing him, ready to charge. Nuts were pelting them. Filipe was apparently not finished with punishing the poor thief.

The geese charged. Bakura was down on the ground screaming in a matter of seconds.

Out on the sidewalk was Malik, staring horrified at the closed gate.

"MALIK! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!"

Malik jumped a little. He wasn't too sure if he should. Yes, Bakura needed help, but Malik didn't want to get hurt.

"Um...Why? I'm sure you can handle whatever it is by yourself..." Malik said slowly.

"GEESE! I CAN'T GET THEM OFF! THEY'RE EATING ME!"

Malik didn't know whether he should just laugh or go step on some geese. He decided killing geese could be fun, and then maybe he could get the pretty red ball first and have a chance to bounce it.

Malik made his way to the gate and opened it. Bakura was on the ground, geese on top of him tearing at his clothes and body. Yes, pain. These were evil geese. Evil geese from hell.

Bakura leapt up and started to run, the geese right behind him. Malik moved to the side, allowing everything to pass without getting hit by an insane goose.

Once Bakura and the geese had disappeared, Malik looked up at the roof. There, at the top, was Filipe. Eye contact and stuff was made and then Philipe scurried off back to his lover.

Malik didn't really know what to make of the whole situation, so he decided not to think to hard, like you shouldn't, and he walked to the ball.

Malik walked happily down the street with the ball he found. He bounced it while whistling some annoying tune.

Moral of the Story:

Don't steal balls. Or Squirrels named Filipe will sick hell geese on you.

Bakura's Last Known Words:

"I'm never playing with balls again!"