Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Underworld or its characters.

Musings

By Josefina

She wasn't sure when she began to care for him. It might have started the day their eyes met. He was just a human then, nothing more than a mere mortal. She had to admit he was somehow different. He managed to hold her gaze, no mortal had ever made her look away, but he had. The realization that the Lycans had been following him piqued her curiosity. What interest did the Lycans have in this unique individual? Whatever they wanted from him, she wasn't willing to let the Lycans have him without a fight. She couldn't pinpoint the source of this compulsion, but since Michael had come into the picture she hardly recognized herself.

She went on to tell herself that Michael was just a means to an end, and that she was simply using him to get the edge over her enemies. They were not all lies, but not all truths either; the mortal was kindling something inside her. Something that she had not felt for years. She could almost remember what it felt like to be human again. Memories of the family she had lost played through her mind, her parents, her sister, and her twins nieces, all dead by the filthy paws of Lycans. That was what Viktor had led her to believe when he gave her his seductive speech of immortality and the power to have her revenge. Viktor's allure was too strong to pass up.

Viktor and the Death Dealers were her family, to hell with the coven Viktor and her fellow warriors were in truth all that mattered to her. Kraven's delusions of grandeur and lust for power threatened what little solace she had left. Kraven's advances were blatant and unwanted. Nothing about Kraven appealed to her. He was certainly no Viktor. Her dark father was wise, powerful and charismatic, Kraven on the other hand lacked all those qualities. He couldn't even measure up to Michael. Kraven only cared about appearances and was certainly power hungry. He embodied the cliché of what vampires were believed to be by the mortals. Frankly he downright disgusted her with his pampered ways. Why he thought she would make a suitable Queen for him was beyond her. She never cared for the finer things in life. Her whole immortal existence had been spent as a Death Dealer, one of Viktor's prized warriors. How Kraven thought he could tame her and turn her into an arm piece was almost laughable.

Her growing feelings for the mortal had made her uncomfortable. What had unnerved her most was the fact that she had not noticed sooner, that he had been bitten. A Lycan had marked her mortal and she didn't even realize it. No, scratch that, what had really unnerved her most was that, she really did not care that he was now a Lycan. Perhaps Kraven had been right and she was infatuated with Michael. Somehow infatuation did not really convey what she felt. She was unsure how it happened but she and Michael were connected. They were two beings, who barely knew one another, yet they were drawn together. She was bound by blood to Viktor; she owed him everything, yet she was willing to defy his direct orders to save Michael. Why? The answers were unclear all she knew was that she felt how she felt.

Kraven was known to be a liar but the truth of his words hit her hard. Viktor had been the one to slaughter her family. Her image of him scattered with the reminder of her love for him. If she had to choose between the coven and the Lycan, she would choose the Lycan. The Lycan was at least honest with her. The short time that they had known each other, Michael had managed to melt some of that ice that surrounded her heart. She could feel again, she had wasted so much time dealing death that she forgot what it meant to be alive. Michael would be her chance to live at last. She knew a life with the Lycan would not be easy, they would be hunted to the ends of the earth and she would face a fate worst than Sonja's, but she would not be alone anymore.

So she wasn't sure when she began to care but all she knew was that she did care for Michael, and would kill or be killed in order to protect him. Maybe…just maybe this is love crossed her mind. A funny thought a Death Dealer in love. 'Who would have thought it possible?'

A/N: This is my attempt at trying to get inside Selene's mind. I hope you enjoyed it.