A/N: I should be updating, I know. But this little thing has been stuck in my head for some time, now. And hey, I figured I could use a break from the serious stuff and dabble into some humor. :)

"And these fingertips
Will never run through your skin
And those bright blue eyes
Can only meet mine across the room filled with people that are less important than you.
All 'cause you love, love, love
When you know I can't love..."

-Love Love Love, Of Monsters & Men

Frenzy of Exultations

Summary: Of which Kaylee and Zoe ask Inara a serious question: does she fake it? M rated for crude humor and sexual themes. Pre BDM. Hints of Wash/Zoe, Kaylee/Simon, Mal/Inara.

"Mmmm, this does feel nice," Kaylee commented, closing her eyes and relishing in the sensation of the bubbles against her skin.

Zoe laughed, brushing a stray dark curl out of her eyes. "Ain't you had a bubble bath before, Kaylee?"

The mechanic, with her eyes still shut and a satiated smile on her lips, shook her head. "Capt'n don't like bubbles. Too costly, and it ain't like I got someone to be sharin' it with like you do, Zoe," she retorted.

Zoe's smile remained as she relaxed under the bubbling, warm, water. "Wash bought us a bottle. Lot of fun you can have with suds, if you ever care to try. Just use 'em sparingly."

Kaylee's eyes shot open and she examined Zoe with a quizzical expression. "But, usin' less of it means there'll be less of the bubbles!" she cried.

A mischievous yet amused look crossed the older woman's features, and Kaylee erupted into a fit of girlish giggles as she understood the hidden implication in her friend's words. She splashed her lightly. "Oh, you just get to have all the fun, don't ya, Mrs. Washburne?"

"Marriage ain't always fun and games, hun," Zoe remarked, but her grin remained, and seemed to say otherwise.

The door to their private bathing room opened then, and Inara stepped inside with nothing but a fluffy white towel wrapped around her shimmering golden body. River followed closely behind her, like a nervous child after her mother on her first day of school. She was wearing much the same thing. However, while River's long, dark locks of hair tumbled down against her small, pale shoulders, Inara's inky black curls were worked into an intricate updo with only a few escaping to dance against the back of her neck. Zoe and Kaylee turned to acknowledge the two other females and greeted them with smiles all around.

"Care to join us, lady Inara and lady River?" Kaylee asked playfully, her slight intoxication evident in the slurring of her words.

Inara smiled, and walked her way over on bare feet to the edge of the round, built in tub, where the water just started to seep over. River clutched the towel at her breast, eyeing the liquid pooling about her toes suspiciously.

"Come on in. Water's great," Zoe purred, allowing her eyes to close as she sank in, the bubbles splashing against her chin.

Inara's expression was alive with amusement when she said, "You both are making it look fantastic."

Then, she beckoned River over, and the youth took small, hesitant steps towards the group, almost as if she was playing a game with the water at her feet. Inara tested the bath by dipping her manicured toes in first, before removing her towel and sliding on in against the currents to join her friends. She sighed contently and her lashes fluttered closed at the sensation of the bubbles massaging the naked length of her body. The heat from the water made her skin glow like warm cinnamon, and the slight mist that was rising dampened the ends of her ebony curls. River followed suit, mimicking the older woman, as she, too, tested the temperature of the water nervously with her toes. Unlike Inara though, she moved at a slower pace. She started with her feet, then her ankles, and soon after, she dipped her calves in until she had to sit at the edge of the built in bath. When she finally slid into the water, in between Inara and Kaylee, she'd left her towel on.

Inara giggled and turned her attention to the younger girl. "Oh, qīn'ài, you need to take the towel off," she cooed, her hands working gently to help her remove it.

River made no protests, but allowed the companion to do as she pleased whilst she occupied herself with the bubbles, seemingly mesmerized by them. "So many of them, moving, dancing, like a siege of glimmering diamonds, only softer. They rush at me, like they're fighting a war they're bound to lose, but it doesn't stop them. They keep coming, and keep coming...," she whispered, perplexed by the suds attacking her skin in waves.

Then, she looked to Inara with wide eyes and added, "It feels...nice."

"Mmmm, what feels nice, honey? The suds, or the lack o' testosterone in this room right about now?" Zoe laughed, her eyes still shut. "'Cause I ain't able to tell which is better at this point."

Kaylee drained the remains of the deep red beverage in her wine cup before admitting, "Can't say I'd mind some testosterone right about now, Zoe. These bubbles are all kinds of pleasin', and they're makin' me feel all funny in the nethers, if ya know what I mean." Kaylee hiccupped and then chuckled seductively, making it apparent what it was running on her mind.

Inara sighed pleasantly. "I'll have to agree with Zoe on this one. It's not always the most comfortable situation for a woman when she's frequently in the company of men," she confessed.

Zoe made a throaty noise in agreement. "Ain't it just so."

"Aw, come on now. No need to be so hard on the fellas. It's nice to sit and hear 'em talk sometimes, prattlin' on about medical equipment, and fanciful words. It's like listenin' to a poem written in a whole new language!" Kaylee exclaimed.

Zoe laughed out loud and opened her eyes to give Kaylee a knowing stare. "Girl, you ride that crush any harder, and I'm thinkin' you'll be the one needin' medical attention."

River was starting to try and pop the bubbles before they reached her bare skin. Or maybe she was just trying to catch them in her hands, and failing miserably. "Twos, threes, fours. Always in pairs, always together. But what happens to the spares?" she asked no one in particular.

Kaylee pouted in response to Zoe's comment. "Juébù! Only way that doctor be noticin' me is if I'd gone off and gotten shot or the like. Otherwise, I could strut on into the medbay, naked as the day I'd come crawlin', and he'd barely even blink," she whined.

Inara raised an eyebrow. "Mèimei, I'm certain that if Simon didn't blink, it would be because of all the staring he'd be trying not to do," she jibed.

This elicited a chuckle from the three ladies.

"All that schoolin' and the boy can't figure out the simplest things, can he?" Kaylee added.

Then, she stared at River, and covered her mouth when she gasped, catching herself moments too late. "Oh! I'm so sorry, River! I don't mean to knock on your brother like this. I just...well, mama always said I get some of that devil juice into my system, and it's like I become a whole new person with no inhibitions!"

"Feelings can't be quantified, all he knows is numbers. Subtract, multiply, divide. Simon always did have problems with simple addition," River smiled at Kaylee, like she'd just shared an embarrassing secret about her brother with the mechanic.

Kaylee returned the smile with just as much energy as she would have if she were sober.

"All this talk on sexin', actually startin' to make me miss the husband," Zoe said.

"Ain't they only in the room on over? I say, you should go in there, naked and slippery wet, grab Wash, and have your way with him, right on the spot," Kaylee instructed, a devious glow in her hazel green eyes.

Inara gasped in mock surprise at the brunette's highly inappropriate idea.

But Zoe only threw her head back into a fit of laughter. When she was finally able to speak, she said, "Fākuáng! I ain't goin' over there now, not with the likes of Jayne in there. Somethin' ain't right after knowin' that man's seen it all."

When they'd calmed down from their slightly drunken outburst, Inara piped up, "You could always 'have your way' after the fact. The bath houses are reserved for couples during the night."

That seemed to pique their interest.

Yet, it was Zoe who was feeling bold enough, and had enough alcohol in her system, to pose the question to the companion. With an eyebrow quirked, she asked, in her sultry voice, "Ahh, and how'd a woman of your status be knowin' somethin' like that 'bout this little establishment?"

It had caught her off guard, and it made her slightly self conscious knowing all eyes were on her now, including River's, awaiting her typical, very careful response.

In her usual fashion, Inara waved it off. "I have had clients request my company at this specific resort, and water has many healing properties," she answered, as if it meant nothing.

Kaylee chewed on her bottom lip in anticipation as she prepared to ask her question in regards to Inara's intriguing career choice. She always did want to know more about what it was Inara did and how she did it. The whole concept seemed to entrance her, and Inara would enjoy indulging her, welcoming the change from Mal's hostile attitude. "So, you've had sex here before, then, 'Nara?"

Inara shook her head in response. "No, not actual penetration, if that's what you're asking. But certain foreplay activities can help ease the tension out of a client's body before the ritual. It allows the actual act to become more pleasurable for them, meaningful," she answered.

One of Zoe's dark brows shot up, perplexed, and her brown eyes studied the companion when she quizzed her, "Pleasurable for them, huh?"

This spurred Kaylee forward, "Don't companions get to feel any pleasure? Does it all always gotta be 'bout the client?"

Inara cleared her throat, and eyed River. "I don't think this topic of conversation is suitable for the ears of all those present," she said, attempting to steer the women away from the conversation.

Surprisingly enough, it was River who actually addressed that issue before the others could chime in with protests. "Wild red hair, like the flickering flames of a fire. She rides the black stallion in his madness, in his craze. She clings to his neck, reaching fruition, eyes closed as he bucks and fights beneath her. Midnight black tangles with fiery reds, forever entwining. Frenzy, it is called." Her tone had become softer, her eyes drooping, her pale fingers skating along the surface of the bubbles, her small mouth slightly open, as if she were experiencing exactly what it was she was describing.

They felt it, too. Kaylee, Zoe, and Inara remained silent, perplexed by River's imaginative words, indulging in the youth's vivid imagery.

But it was the companion that answered the question on everyone else's minds, "Frenzy of Exultations," she started, her fingers skimming the hollow at her throat, "Podkowiński's painting, from Earth-That-Was, depicting the female orgasm..."

River met her gaze, her lips slightly parted, her deep eyes still exposing the lust she'd experienced only moments earlier.

"That's some...paintin', I'd imagine, "Kaylee whispered, her voice betraying her.

"Do companions ever have orgasms?" River asked Inara abruptly, breaking the tension that had filled the bath house.

They all blinked at the boldness of the girl's words. She shrugged. "They were going to ask eventually. Saving time," she commented nonchalantly.

"I...We...I mean...o-of course!" Inara stammered, very much unladylike.

She blamed it on the wine she'd consumed throughout the day.

The corners of River's mouth twitched into a smile as she gleaned something. "Yet again, the brain proves to be the most powerful, the most influential. With the right stimulation, the imagination creates what is not real. They see the general, the councillor, the mayor's son. But, what matters is what she sees. And she sees only what she wishes, only what she wants most...A figment, particles, scents. His hair changes from the colour of the sun to the colour of earth, his eyes from forests to oceans. He is both someone new and someone familiar all at once. Even the nose smells what it wants to, fingertips feel what the mind creates. Sweat, clean soap, gun polishing oil, musty leather, spice of his after shave. All parts of him. Rough skin, tough, calloused. Suddenly, it's his body on hers, it is him moving inside of her, not the man who's paid for the deed. With eyes shut, anything is possible. Muscles react, contract, and the ultimate response is the obsidian stallion that she rides...," River explained, her eyes never leaving Inara's terrified gaze the entire time.

After a moment of allowing the reader's words to sink in, Kaylee was the first to break the quiet that had fallen between them. "Call me crazy, but...did she just say that 'Nara pictures someone else while sexin' instead of her client in order to get off? 'Cause that's all I got. I think."

Zoe's expression was one of question and mild amusement as she stared down River. "Uh-huh, that's what I got, too," she agreed.

Inara rarely found she was capable of blushing. But in this moment, her face felt a fire. She was at a loss for words, couldn't turn away from River's all seeing eyes, to take the looks she was being given all around the room. She was used to being the centre of attention, whether it were positive or negative. She could handle it with class and poise. Yet, being at the mercy of those she considered family was proving to be more difficult than anticipated. So, instead, she slipped beneath the water slowly, until she was submerged just a little over the bridge of her dainty nose. She focused her eyes on the small splashing of the bubbles before her. Anything but to have to answer to that.

She wanted nothing more than to cry out protests, to deny every single word. But River had been right, had delved right into her mind and fished out the memory. She relived it, recalled the way she'd slipped up, his name dying on her lips in short, quick gasps as she rode the last wave of pleasure.

Mal!

Only, once she'd opened her eyes, she was very much aware that it wasn't the captain's provocative, ultramarine stare locking with hers, as she'd hoped, as she'd envisioned.

"Well," Zoe started, her voice quieter now, "ain't that somethin'...," she concluded.

Kaylee, always the optimistic one, tried to make the best of the situation by stating, "At least you don't actually fake it, 'Nara. Few things worse than that, I'd reckon. Nobody likes a faker, especially men. You know, it's that ego thing they've got goin'. They like thinkin' that they're the reason a girl's all hot, bothered, and peakin'."

Inara didn't move, didn't reply, didn't even lift her eyes to meet with Kaylee's sweet, understanding face. She was embarrassed, humiliated even; a feat that her companion training had taught her to avoid. The only thing that could have been more unnerving was if River had told them who it was she'd just described from Inara's brief memory.

"Secret's safe," River answered the older woman's thoughts, as if on cue.

Zoe sighed, and said, "Can't say I blame you, 'Nara. If'n I ever had to, with someone that ain't Wash, maybe even reavers, if they ever caught me, it'd make the whole thing a lot easier by pretendin' it was happenin' with my mister. Mayhap I'd die a happy woman, with a smile on my face."

Kaylee gasped in horror, and splashed Zoe playfully. "Don't be sayin' that, Zoe! Reavers ain't somethin' to be jokin' about!"

Zoe shrugged. "Not jokin' about somethin' that's always a possibility, l'il Kaylee. Never been a man in the 'verse that could tweak me quite like my man can. He always did have a reputation for bein' good in bed. Proud to say, he's lived up to it, although he may not look the part. Besides that, makin' the best of a bad situation is a concept you have to learn to do while fightin' in a war," Zoe stated, her expression taking on a mix of emotions.

"I'd be in some serious trouble, then, seein' as how I don't even remember the last time a proper man's tweaked me...," Kaylee said.

Zoe laughed, the mood in the room returning to its old cheerful state. "If the doctor's ever needin' a refresher on the female anatomy, I'll be sure to point him in your direction, then," Zoe replied.

That seemed to evoke a smile even out of Inara. Kaylee grinned from ear to ear, and she faced Zoe with a twinkle in her eyes that wasn't just the alcohol. "That'd be real helpful!" She paused then, and her smile fell. "Although...knowin' that man, he's too smart for his own good, and would sooner refer to a book than to humans," Kaylee frowned.

"Books make sense. People don't," River explained to Kaylee.

Zoe shook her head, smiling. "I'm thinkin' this conversation has gotten too deep, and we need to fix that. More drinks, ladies?" she asked, sitting up and reaching for one of the many bottles littered about the edge of the bath.

"Wouldn't mind if I do," Kaylee said, grabbing her once forgotten empty glass, and returning to her good cheer in a flash.

Zoe looked at Inara as she poured the dark red liquid into Kaylee's cup. "I'm thinkin' our companion over here is in most desperate need of a drink. Grab a glass. You too, River. Simon ain't got to know everythin'," she beckoned.

Forgetting her previous mortification, Inara swam on over to the edge where a free glass awaited her. Zoe filled it to the brim and handed it to her. River had stood up abruptly, in all her naked glory, with water running down her curves. She then took a few nimble steps towards the slightly flabbergasted crew members. The group of women shamelessly observed her nudity, their eyes roaming her exposed body in awe and admiration.

Suddenly remembering herself, Kaylee turned to fill up another cup, and handed it over to River, saying, "Hell with that, I say if a girl's got an ample bosom, she's got rights as good as anyone to drinkin'!"

As if to be drawing her attention, River stared down at her own aforementioned small, but firm breasts; at the way the perky, blushing pink buds stood erect against her alabaster skin. Kaylee took a long sip of her wine, and then extended her glass towards River's naked form.

"To River's breasts!" she cried, before polishing off the rest of her drink.

Inara and Zoe followed suit after giggling hysterically at Kaylee's remark. River sipped at what was in her cup hesitantly, made a face of disgust at the strong taste, and then drank the rest in a hurry.

Zoe filled their cups a second time, much to the reader's chagrin. After a moment to think, she eyed Inara, and extended her glass towards the glowing companion. "To the frenzy of exultations," she cheered, nodding her head.

Kaylee brought her drink forward as well, although rather sloppily so that some of it sloshed over the brim and landed in the bath water. With a suddenly serious expression, the mechanic cried out, "To a lifetime of liǎobuqǐ frenzies, and the people that help us experience 'em!"

Glasses clinked, laughter followed, and all the happy women of serenity became completely and utterly intoxicated, together for the very first time.

fin

A/N: One of the many things that is sad about the unjust cancellation of Firefly, is the lack of female bonding. I adore the relationships these women built with one another, no matter how different they all are, and I just wanted to create a scene where they are just young women, at their prime, enjoying their lives for a change. Exchanging pointless jibber jabber, where they are all 100% comfortable with each other. Even Inara lets down her mask, and allows a deep secret of hers to be revealed without a fight, a sign that she's truly comfortable around these women that she's grown to love them. I suppose that's the greatest concept here; the love they have for one another, even including River into their more mature activities, and she likes being apart of it, illiciting a mostly lucid period for her.

Also, it's fun to get shameless with the women and their respective men of Serenity. :) Over all, this was a blast to write! It was heavily inspired from the comics, where Inara *does* visualize having sex with Mal while she's engaged with a client. Feedback, as usual, is welcomed!

Translations

qīn'ài: dear, beloved, darling

Juébù: no way, absolutely not

Fākuáng: crazy

Liǎobuqǐ: extraordinary, amazing, terrific