-Our first meeting was probably just an accident.
And yet, such a simple accident...
"..."
...A single bed, a single table, a single vase, a single chair.
A single room enclosed by four white walls, its colour grey in my blurred eyes.
My neck and my arms were covered by white bandages.
Looping and looping, almost as if they were there to strangle me.
Yet, here I am, staring straight at the distant grey ceiling, the darkness of the night tainting everything I see.
It's impossible to move-every moment meant pain, and even those accidental cuts on my arms gave me as much torture as having a knife sliced through them.
So, for a long time, I laid there, motionless.
Thinking, endlessly thinking, and pondering, endlessly pondering.
My voice slowly lost its existence in this world...
"..."
There was this time where she came to visit me.
I said nothing. I couldn't say anything.
"..."
"...I will snatch away everything from you..."
She looked at me silently. Unable to see her face, I can only imagine what it was as she looked at my pathetic form.
Was it hatred? Was it pain?
Or was it... sorrow...?
I couldn't picture it.
No... I probably didn't want to.
"...Him, our memories... Everything..."
"...I'm sorry."
Leaving behind a vague whisper, my best friend left the room.
And then, for a long time after that, sound never visited me again.
...Days later, I stepped out of my grey cage.
My legs didn't felt like they were mine.
I lazily dragged them along, my brain still hazy for having been lying down for so long.
The hospital corridors felt warmer than my ward room, a comfortable temperature.
Walking about aimlessly, I came to the staircase at the end of the corridor. It was brightly-lit, a condition fitting for the desired safety of a hospital.
Should I take it? There were only two paths there, either going upwards, or downwards.
Downwards... was where the two most important people in my life were.
-My past, the painful experience, the knife which scarred my heart and soul.
...I took a step, and went upwards.
The stairs went on for eternity, endlessly spiraling upwards.
-To a distant future.
Nurses and doctors rush downwards, upwards, lost in the maze of the present.
I'm a doll, a toy without a proper soul, wandering in her past.
Tomorrow never arrives in this cruel world.
"..."
...Then, I came to a door.
It marked the end of the stairs, and the end of my aimless journey to adjust to the flow of time.
The door, left ajar, slowly rocked back and forth in the wind.
What should I have done, I never knew.
I had already lost my goals, my dreams, and everything important to me.
...And it had all been my fault.
That's why - there is nothing that I can do.
Since there is nothing to do, I never understood what I should do.
That's why I'd spent my new empty life lying on the hospital bed, staring at the faraway ceiling.
What exactly prompted me to come out here was probably just curiosity.
...
...Seems like I'm still human after all.
"..."
I gave a light push at the door. It swung open, initiating a deep sound of rusty metal at its hinges.
-A boy turned to look at me.
...Blue eyes, blonde hair. He looked like a foreigner, yet his expression brought a familiarity which pushed away that fact.
He gave a short glance, and turned away to look at the horizon.
The sky was orange, the sun mid-way from being fully set.
...The end of the day - twilight.
I walked in, onto the roof flooring.
It felt extremely rough under my bare feet, yet it seemed numb after all the pain which I had went through.
Silently walking over, I sat down on a bench beside the boy and stared at the sun, the climax of an empty day.
Very soon, the faraway buildings ate up the sun. Night arrived, yet again. Cold air enveloped me, playing with my hair. Cradling myself, I tried my best to warm up.
And then-
"...That was beautiful."
"...?"
The boy suddenly spoke. Feeling as though he was trying to start a conversation with me, I carelessly fumbled around for words.
Ah... I'm still the same, aren't I?
After a long silence, the boy turned around in curiosity.
I held my tongue nervously.
"...Are you unable to speak?" The boy raised a kind question. I shook my head in reply.
"...I see. I must have scared you."
I hastily shook my head.
He raised an eyebrow in interest, and smiled.
"I'm Len. Can I know your name?"
I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice felt like it had already been taken away from this world...
...No words came out.
Len looked at me, his silhouette against the lights of the city. The lights on the roof buzzed on, and our shadows surrounded us.
I shook my head in disappointment. However, he didn't give up.
"How about mouthing your name to me? I should be able to tell."
I tried.
"Bi...?"
I shook my head.
"Oh, Mi?"
I nodded.
"...Ku. Miku?"
I nodded.
"Miku... That's a nice name."
His smile widened. A familiar smile, one which brought back faint memories of that certain day...
I looked away.
"Sorry. Did I do something?"
I stood up and shook my head. It truly felt stupid and annoying of me for not being able to speak at all. At the same time, this boy-Len-unknowingly brought back those unwanted memories.
Wanting to protect my own dignity and sanity, I began walking in the direction of the exit.
...To walk out of the roof, to walk out of the life of this person called 'Len'...
"Wait! Don't go!"
His voice echoed through the night. My legs unconsciously stopped.
I heard his footsteps as he ran to me in haste, coming up before me. I looked away from his blue eyes, in an attempt to forget those two...
"Will I get to meet you again?"
...A familiar phrase.
...One which I had heard before, one which I had kept deep in the dark shadows of my heart.
-A phrase which I didn't want to remember.
"...Mmm..."
My voiceless words gave a bad answer, and I began to shake my head strongly in an attempt to let him know my true intentions.
"...I see... I understand. However, if we were to meet again, please don't avoid me like this."
"...?"
A gentle request. I turned to look at him, and he gave me a sad but satisfied smile.
"There's this saying. The first time is chance, the second time is coincidence, but the third time...," he winked, "...Is fate."
...But even so... I can't remain in your life...
I ran through the door. For this person to know me, it would mean hell for both of us.
No.
I was probably just afraid of getting close to anyone again.
Len's voice echoed down the staircase. But I still continued to run.
I wanted to escape from there. I wanted to escape from pain.
It's alright...
"..."
He'll eventually come to forget everything anyway...
"..."
And in such a manner, my first meeting with Len passed...