A/N: This one shot was inspired by the song "Unravel" by Bjork. I'm not entirely sure what or who she's singing about, but I turned it into my own angsty Morgan/Reid interpretation. By the way, I highly reccommend you listen to it while reading this :) The song is beautiful. For the version in this fic, look up Unravel (Official Lynn Fox Video)
~Please enjoy!~
-While you are away, my heart comes undone
"Derek..." His voice was truly the definition of anguish at that moment, and there was nothing the older man could do about it. Spencer had told him that over and over.
His hands were pale and shaking, gripping Morgan's arms.
For the hundredth time, Morgan stroked his hair and told him It's okay, you're gonna be okay
For the hundredth time, Morgan fought the urge to stay, as he had done many times before...
"Please don't leave me... Please. I don't think I can do it this time," Reid whispered, eyes wide and revealing an incredible mass of fear.
Morgan breathed deeply. "You've got your sponsor."
"He can't do what you can," Spencer answered.
...
-Slowly unravels
Spencer cried, pleading with Derek to not leave out that door.
Morgan explained to him the situation they were in. Reid was in no condition to be in the field, and Morgan had to pay the bills. He still had to take care of them.
...
"Baby, you need help."
Derek tried not to lose rational thought as he saw the empty bottle of pills on the bathroom counter, Spencer trying to avoid his eyes.
He told him to please never take him to a rehabilitation center, not if he wanted him alive.
...
Spencer was alone. Half of him disintegrated into ash once the door shut behind Derek. The addict's voice was louder now, and this part of Spencer knew he was a fool to try and ignore it.
A few hours went by, though it seemed like centuries. The very core of Spencer's soul craved, more than anything in the world. He could feel his control slipping away from him, sprinting towards a black hole, never to be found again. Derek wasn't just his lover; he was his strength, his control, his will to live. Spencer knew this would come to pass, in time, past the vulnerablilities of the withdrawal process. But this Reid was weak, utterly defenseless. Broken. It was impossible to feel alive without the drug, without Derek. If he didn't have one, he needed the other. It was almost all he knew.
-In a ball of yarn.
His control was nonexistent now, fishing through the bedroom for his hidden bottles. Spencer the genius had disappeared deep within himself, and Spencer the addict screamed from within his pores.
-The devil collects it, with a grin.
The addict sat there, taking pill after pill, waiting for the rush to consume his body, taking him under it, making him numb, painless.
-Our love, in a ball of yarn.
The guilt Spencer was faint. He was crying in loss. The loss of warmth from his body, the glow Derek could only give him. What had he been reduced to?
-He'll never return it.
Spencer sat there, in total numbness. This was not how a living and breathing human being should feel. But yet, the addiction always had control over him in the end. Spencer knew this was killing him, yet keeping him alive at the same time.
-When you come back, we'll have to make new love.
Morgan didn't speak, didn't react. He just let Reid hold onto him.
They ended up on the bed, Spencer kissing him desperately, almost as if he would die if Morgan's lips weren't on his. He was so warm, radiating with pure life.
Morgan kissed his face, his chest, his arms, his legs, letting him know he was there. That he wasn't going anywhere. Not now. He made it his goal, every night, to get Spencer's color back, to get him speaking, moving, breathing. Alive.
Reid arched under him, gripping Morgan's shoulders.
"That's it, pretty boy." The man buried his face in Reid's neck, and reveled in his pulse.
Spencer writhed underneath him. "I need you," he gasped.
"I know."
The drag of Morgan against and inside of him was pure ectasy, and he shook with reverance and need. He no longer associated life with pain, but with love. He no longer was numb, but he felt. His eyes closed and he let himself go. It was fire and rain, hard and soft, bitter and sweet, every part of him was alive, and it poured from his mouth and his movements.
He held Morgan tighter against him and released with a yell, chanting his name with every wave of shuddering pleasure.
Afterwards, Spencer slept. Soundless and dreamless. The only time when he didn't have to think, and didn't have to listen to the voice of his addiction, even if he knew it would definitely be back.
As long as Derek was with him, he could survive, and would always be able to put the pieces back together.
He'll never return it. So when you come back, we'll have to make new love.
A/N: The review button doesn't bite... :)
(Oh, and for those who were a little confused by the lyrics.
The 'devil', in this fic is supposed to represent Reid's addiction. The 'ball of yarn' stands for his lost control.
And the 'new love' is a symbol for Reid's regain of his control/life.
The rest is pretty self explanatory I think.)