He looked nothing like her.

It was the first thing April thought as she looked at the kid in front of her. They were both short, that was one thing at least, and they were both a little skinny. But gosh…

"Wow. It's hard to believe you're the little guy who kicked me for a month solid," She joked, tilting her head to one side. The boy grinned a little. His dad stood behind him, one hand on the boys shoulder. "And Joe Anderson. Here you are, handsome as ever. Same hot body, too."

"April," Joe nodded. He hadn't changed in the last sixteen years. Same dark eyes and overhanging forehead, always taking things too seriously. "This is Blaine." He motioned to the cutie beside him, "Blaine this is April Rhodes…"

"Now come give your mama a hug," April said, flinging her arms wide open.

She hadn't expected to be here. She'd expected that moment in the hospital when they took her baby away to be the last time she ever saw him. He'd been so tiny, unable to open his eyes. That's what happened when you had a baby at 25 weeks. She wasn't even allowed to hold him; he had to be hooked up to a ventilator within his first few minutes of life. She thought that glimpse of the tiny baby with a head full of dark hair was all she'd ever have.

But here she was. And here was her boy, healthy with big bright brown eyes and his arms wrapped around her.

Joe invited her in for dinner. It was nice, sitting with a family for a change, at a table whose owner she actually knew.

"So, what brings you to Westerville, April?" Joe asked in between bites of lasagna. Blaine was quiet; never taking his eyes off of her while he ate his food. One of his hands was underneath the table, gripping his pant leg while his knee bounced up and down.

"I'm getting my degree," April confided, taking another swig of the Chablis Joe had poured for her. Man, Joe had good taste in alcohol.

"College?" Joe asked.

"High school," April giggled. Both boys' eyebrows rose. "Yeah, the kids in glee club had that same facial expression, but I knocked out a little 'Cabaret' and I think I got them to come around."

"Blaine sings, too," Joe offered, "He's joined a group at his new school, the… Hummingbirds?"

"The Warblers, Dad," Blaine said.

"A singer, huh?" April said, "You get any solos yet?"

Blaine looked shocked at being spoken to. "The council offered me an audition, but I don't know if I'm going to take it. I-I'm not very good."

"Courage, Dorothy," April countered, "You'll never know unless you try, right?"

Blaine took a long moment to consider it. "Where are you going to school, April?"

"Mckinley. The head of the glee club got me to come finish my last few credits. He used to have a flame for me in high school, can you blame him? You don't have any flames at the moment, do you, Sunshine?"

Blaine's face went white, his knee bouncing even higher than before. "I don't… I mean, I don't have a… um, April, there's something you should probably know about me. I'm-"

"Gay?" April said gently. "Sweetheart, I already know that. Your dad told me."

"He did?" Blaine said.

"Aw, is that what you've been so nervous about? I don't care about that." April said. "It doesn't matter to me whether you like boys or girls, as long as you pick cute ones. Who's your celebrity crush of the moment, huh?"

Blaine blushed, "Neil Patrick Harris."

"Good choice," April grinned, the smile only getting wider as her son returned it. "So, Joe, how's about a little more of that drink?"

Joe raised his eyebrows again. "Aren't you driving back home?"

April resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Nah, I just lost the place I had a few days ago. I've been staying in cheap motels the last few nights, and if I'm not mistaken there's one right down the road I can mosey on down to."

"Or you could stay with us," Blaine said, "We have a spare room."

"Well, I guess that would be okay," April decided. "That is, if Joe's okay with it."

"Dad, please?" Blaine took his eyes off of her for the first time since they'd met to turn huge puppy dog eyes on his father. Joe crumpled in an instant.

"April, we'd love to have you stay with us."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"There is this little gay boy at Mckinley you have to meet. He's the most adorable thing I've ever seen, and just between you and me, he has a tush I would kill for," April said.

"I don't know…"

"Come on, I think you two would really hit it off. He has blue eyes," April sing-songed.

"Really?" Blaine had a thing for blue eyes. Then, "I don't think he'd be interested in me."

"What are you talking about?" April said.

"I don't know. I mean, I'm not really that… cute or anything. I'm kind of short…"

"So am I, but that's never slowed me down. You are a star, honey. Don't you ever doubt that."

"You mean it?" Blaine asked.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," April said. "All you need is a little confidence. Now, here's what you've gotta do. Pick a song, something sexy, something with a little kick… and go serenade him. I bet you anything by the end of the song he'll be putty in your hands. Trust me. Now, what do you think of 'Wicked'?"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"You look beautiful, tonight," Joe noted, "What's the occasion?"

"Blaine's finding out if he got the solo tonight. I thought I'd take him out to a nice little karaoke bar I know, let him sing out his triumphs, or troubles as the case may be."

"Hey, April, can I talk to you about something?" Joe asked.

"Sure."

"You've been great these last few weeks. I haven't seen Blaine this happy since his mother left. He's more confident, he's more adjusted. And I think that's because of you. But I'm a little worried about your drinking," Joe said.

"I'm sober right now, Joe. Scout's honor. I know you won't let Blaine ride in a car with a drunk driver so I went off the bottle for a few hours."

"You're off the bottle now, but what about when you're at that bar?" Joe asked, crossing his arms in front of him.

"I'll let Blaine drive us home," April shrugged.

"That's not the point. Blaine took the consequences of your drinking once. When he was born, he couldn't breathe, he almost died because you couldn't give up that damn drink to protect him. If I let him go out with you and something happens to him… I need you to promise me that you'll keep him safe."

"I promise," April said.

The door slammed open behind them, the boy's rapid footfalls sounding on the stairs. Blaine appeared behind them, breathing hard with a smile stretching his face.

"I got the solo!" Blaine announced.

"That's my boy!" April yelled, throwing him a high five, "Now go get into something comfortable, I'm taking you out to celebrate."

"Okay." Blaine bounced to his room.

"He's such a sweet kid," Joe said, staring after him. "You know, April, I never got the chance to thank you, for giving him to me."

"Thank you for being such a good dad to him."

"Okay, I'm ready, Mom!" Blaine said, pulling his shirt over his head as he ran to the car. April thought her smile would break her face.

"That's the first time he's ever called me 'Mom'."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Wow, this place is amazing!" Blaine scanned the karaoke bar with rapture, "Hey, look at that! Mom, are you okay? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," April snapped, regretting it instantly when she saw the confused hurt on his face. "I'm sorry, Blaine, I have a bit of a headache. Why don't you park that cute little butt over there while mama goes and gets a little pick me up?"

April staggered over to the bar. Her head was pounding, at this rate she wouldn't be able to focus on the road even if she was sober. All she would have is a little bit, enough to take the edge off.

Her first drink was gone by the time she hit the table.

XXXXXXX

Blaine sipped at his water, bouncing in his seat, "And they told me I was the best they'd seen since Edward Dalton Odell in 1973. I don't think anyone really knows who that is, but it's exciting anyway, right?"

"Of course it is, Darling. I told you that you were a star, didn't I?"

"Oh, I'm not the star," Blaine blushed, "It's just one solo…"

"Not yet," April winked at him. "Now, when's the last time you went on a date, I wonder? I can get that Mckinley boy's number, if you're interested."

Blaine shook his head, trying to suppress the grin on his face, "I don't think my dad would like that very much."

"Nonsense. I think your dad would thank me for setting you up with a little honey." Blaine ducked his head, mumbling something into his water. "What was that?"

"I said, 'as long as the honey is a girl'," Blaine sighed.

"What?" April leaned forward, trying to catch his eye. "You think Joe has a problem with you being gay?"

"I know he has a problem with me being gay. I mean, he won't talk to me about sex or dating or any of it - "

"He just doesn't know how to talk to you, that's all. Your father loves you, Blaine…"

"He used to love me," Blaine said. He was blinking, his mouth scrunching up at the corners.

"He still does, Blaine. I promise. Your dad loves you," April slurped the last of her drink down, trying to think of a way to change the subject. "And he's proud of you, too. You got that solo, remember? Now, let's celebrate with a little mother-son duet, shall we?"

"Right now?" Blaine scanned the room nervously, "But there are so many people…"

"Courage, Blaine," April said. "You like Elvis, don't you? Of course you do. Do you know the words to 'You'll Never Walk Alone'?"

The song was a hit, naturally. Blaine's strong tenor carried her soprano perfectly, and her boy was so happy, he was obviously born for the stage, just like she was. He was a hell of a performer, to boot.

"Sweetheart, if I'd have known you could sing like that, I wouldn't have prayed you'd make it all through Will's lesson today," April said.

"Thanks."

"No, I'm serious," April insisted, "You might even be better than I was at your age. You know what, just for doing such a good job, I'm going to let you have a shot of this tequila."

Under her usual circumstances, April wouldn't have dreamed of letting him drink. But it had taken five drinks just to make the pounding in her head go away, and her promise to Joe was getting a little fuzzy.

"Um, my dad says I'm not supposed to drink until I'm forty," Blaine said, warily eyeing the glass she'd pushed in front of him.

"Your dad doesn't know what fun is. A little buzz never killed anybody," April said, lifting her own glass. Blaine continued to stare at the shot in front of him. "Come on, Blaine. It won't bite you. You take after your father. Lighten up."

Blaine took his first sip. "It's kind of… weird."

"That's my boy. Let's celebrate with another drink."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Wow, I like drinks," Blaine said. "Can we have more?"

"Not since Barry cut us off," April said. "But it's okay; I'll just find somewhere else to get us some drinks." Her phone was steadily vibrating in her bag. She didn't answer it, opting instead to keep her eyes on the road. She was being responsible about this. She wasn't letting Blaine drive because it was certainly more responsible for a drunk adult to drive than a drunk teenager, wasn't it? And a few more would ease the guilt crunching on her gut.

"I like drinks. Good, tasty, yummy drinks. Where are we going, Mom?"

"I don't know just yet, Sweetheart. Any place you want to go?"

Blaine looked wistfully at the road in front of them. "Is there somewhere for gay people to go? Like gay teenagers? Like me?"

"I know just the place," April stepped down on the gas, ignoring the vibrating phone behind her.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"So, how old is he?"

April took the time out of kissing her partner to giggle, "Sixteen," in his ear, before landing another kiss on his jawbone.

"Seriously? How'd you get a kid his age in here?"

Sober April probably would have admitted that taking a teenager to a gay bar on the wrong side of town was probably a bad idea. But to drunk April, Blaine was perfectly fine. He was happy, after all, smiling, with pupils blown wide and a small group of guys around him. April would have been jealous, except Jesse was bi, and more than willing to make out with her.

"I used to date the owner," April laughed.

That got Blaine's attention, "That creepy guy who kept making weird faces at you? Really?"

"I get twenty-five percent off of every drink, honey. There is nothing more romantic than a guy who can get you a discount."

"Oh." Blaine took a moment to soak in her wisdom, before turning to a guy on his right. "You're hot," He breathed, before leaning in for a kiss.

"Alrighty boys," April finally said, "Break it up. Blaine and I are going to need a little break if we want to keep our lips from getting chapped."

The other men got up with no argument, heading out to the dance floor.

"Wow," Blaine said, staring forward in bliss. Purple love bites dotted his neck and collar bone.

"You know, I wasn't sure how you could be my kid when I first met you," April admitted. "But now it all makes sense. We're both talented singers, both prone to making bad decisions, both sluts when we're drunk. You're really my son, aren't you?"

It wasn't the most touching speech, but Blaine grinned from ear to ear nonetheless. "I've always wanted a mom," He admitted.

April grinned, looking at the table in front of them, "Whoa! Did I really buy you that many drinks?"

"Some are from the guys over there," Blaine said.

"No kidding. Well, drink up, then!"

Twenty minutes later, Jesse was back on her neck, sucking a pattern into her skin. She was just about to return the favor when Blaine's small voice cut into her thoughts.

"Mom? I don' feel so good."

"Bathroom's over there, Sweetie," April pointed, her eyes never leaving Jesse.

"Mmmmm," Jesse groaned, "Shouldn't you be – uh! – worried about him?"

"What?" April said. "He's just had a little too much to drink. First timers, right?" Just to make sure, she glanced over Jesse's shoulder. Yep, Blaine was fine. He'd forgotten his sickness, it seemed, and he was currently necking with a hot young thing in the corner. Her last thought was that his technique could use some work, he seemed a little unresponsive, but then Jesse bit down gently on her jugular, and all other thoughts were blown from her mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

April woke with the sick sense of confused guilt that always accompanied her worst binging episodes. She was in a club, her neck tense from sleeping against the couch. Her purse was next to her, she ruffled through it to find 56 missed calls and seven missed messages on her cell phone.

8:25 p.m.

'So, yeah, April, it's Joe. You didn't tell me when you and Blaine were going to get back tonight, so I thought I'd ask, and check in to see how you and Blaine were doing. So, yeah, uh, call me back when you get this.'

10:50 p.m.

'It's Joe again. It's been a while since I called you, and it's getting kind of late. I'm all for partying, but Blaine has school tomorrow, and I'm getting a little worried, so can you please call me back?'

11:46 p.m.

'It's Joe… again. Listen, Blaine isn't answering his phone, and I'm seriously starting to worry about you two. I, um, I just really need to know that you're okay, so if you get this, please call me.'

12:32 p.m.

'April, I've been calling you for the last half hour. Why aren't you answering me? I need to talk to Blaine. I'm trying not to get mad, but you should know that this is seriously irresponsible of you, keeping him out so late. Please call me back.'

12:55

'April, the bartender at the karaoke club says you left two hours ago. I don't know where you took my son, but I want you to answer your phone, dammit!'

1:45 a.m.

'April, please just tell me where he is. I won't get mad, I promise. I just need to know my boy is safe. I can't find you two and I just got this message from Blaine's phone, he pocket dialed me and I could hear… something's happening to him, I know it, so just please, please call me back.'

3:17 a.m.

'I have Blaine. We're at Lima Memorial and the house is locked so you'll need to stay somewhere else for the night. He's okay, but April… we need to have a serious talk.'

April's stomach was rolling. "What have I done?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"See what you can accomplish when you're sober?" Will asked. April watched with pride as the scoreboard over their lane announced her strike.

"Sober?" She laughed. "I'm rolling on a fist full of tranquilizers! I can't feel my lips." Or the fear, or the guilt. It was wonderful, really. "You know, I think I'm gonna keep these shoes."

Will sighed, "April, I-I brought you here because I needed to talk to you."

"Okay," April said.

"I'm concerned that you're a bad influence on the glee club," Will said. April's smile slowly dropped from her face. "I can't have you around if you're going to continue to encourage them to make bad choices."

That's what she'd done to Blaine wasn't it? Encouraged him to make bad choices. Joe had called her to tell her Blaine was out of the hospital, and she could come back by the house if she wanted to find them. April was too scared to answer the phone, terrified of the cold fury in Joe's voice when he left the message.

"You're right, Will," She finally said. "As of right now, I'm back on the wagon." She handed him her cup.

"Really?" Will said, "That's great!"

She had a plan. She would go off the booze and go see Joe and Blaine at the house tomorrow. She would figure out what she'd done and apologize and her perfect life would fall back into place.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You could have killed him!"

"I said I was sorry, Dad," Blaine whispered from the corner of the room.

"I'm not mad at you, Blaine," Joe snapped. His eyes didn't leave April's. "His blood alcohol level was .2%. He had GHB and Rohypnal in his system, and some son of a bitch was trying to have sex with him against the wall of that club. And you're telling me you didn't notice any of that?"

"Joe, I made a mistake. I'm sorry…" April said.

"Get out," Joe said.

"What?"

"I don't want you coming near my son anymore. I don't what I would have done if he had been raped, or… from now on, you're staying away from him."

"No!" Blaine stood up, storming over to him, "Dad, you can't do this."

"April nearly killed you," Joe said, staring at his son. He didn't see April flinch.

"No, April treated me like an adult. I took those drinks. I was being stupid…"

"You took those drinks because you were already drunk!" Joe said.

"Why are you doing this?" Blaine cried, his face screwing up against the pain, "Why? Do you just want me to be miserable? Are you punishing me for something?"

"No, Blaine…"

"Or is it that someone finally came into my life who doesn't hate me for being gay and you can't stand it?"

"That is not true," Joe said fiercely.

"Sweetheart, it's okay," April said, trying desperately to keep her own tears at bay. "We'll always be friends."

"I don't want you to be my friend!" Blaine cried, "I want my mom!"

"She's not your mom, Blaine," Joe said.

"You were wrong, April," Blaine whispered, a tear coming loose and sliding down his cheek, "He doesn't love me."

"Blaine," Joe tried, but his son ran past him, racing up the stairs. Joe kept his back to her, his shoulders trembling with suppressed sobs. "You promised that you would keep him safe," He gasped.

April walked out the door.

She walked to her car, getting in and pressing her fist to her lips to keep the sobs from escaping. She bent over, and caught of the large bottle of wine peeking from beneath the passenger seat of her car. She brought it to her lips and hesitated – she promised Will she was off the bottle. She promised she'd be sober for tonight.

Then the sound of glass breaking came from inside the house, and she took the first swig down.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"You broke a promise," Will said.

They were the worst words he could have chosen; Blaine's face floated in front of her eyes, "You're right," April said. "It was a great moment for me, but it didn't feel right. I don't belong up there, but everyone deserves their moment in the spotlight, you know. To shine. Oooh, I got that standing ovation, Will. And it felt amazing. Like every bad decision I'd ever made just… went away. I was back in the game. But then I look over and I see these sweet faces of these kids and I think, 'I'm hogging their sunshine. It's their turn now, not yours.' They're so lucky to have you, Will, because you won't let what happened to me ever happen to any of them."

She was tearing up now, and had to stop before it all came out. How she'd given up her child, not once but twice only now, it was so much worse. Because she'd held him, and she'd seen what his eyes looked like and she'd heard him call her mom. And no amount of alcohol or standing ovations could ever really make that go away.

"So, where are you going to go?" Will asked.

"Well, um… I'm gonna straighten up. Maybe try to find a new dream. You know, I always loved Broadway…"

"The Broad Way?" Will laughed.

"…Do you think there's a part out there for a washed up has-been like me?" She asked. The question was about so much more than Broadway.

"April, you are not washed up. And hey, there's always Branson."

"Will, Will, Will…" She leaned up and hugged him.

"Thank you," He said.

"No, no. Thank you." She began walking away, leaving only a tiny part of the weight of what happened behind her. But for this moment, it was enough. "Branson, eh?"