"Why?"
Sam was a patient person, usually. He could deal with a lot; he had to, doing the job he did. It wasn't easy to explain to people over and over again that, yes, monsters are real, and yes, there's one about to kill you, but you can trust us because we can kill the monsters using guns and knives and spells and, more recently, weird Archangel powers.
The only problem was that Sam didn't trust the celestial being with the weird Archangel powers as far as he could throw him, although Sam decided upon thinking about it that that particular feat might not be too difficult, looking at the height difference.
Still, he had to wonder.
"Why what, Samsquatch?" Gabriel asked, smirking around his Mars bar.
"Why did you get me a MacBook?" Yup. A MacBook. Sam's wet dream when it came to electronical devices that are portable and able to connect to the internet. (Sam had to admit that he had been willing to overlook Gabriel's ability to conjure up a wifi connection wherever the boys happened to be staying/eating.)
"Because I'm just that nice. And just that awesome." Sam rolled his eyes, and pulled bitch-face #13 out from it's usual place just below the surface. He'd usually have given up after a comment like that, but he was determined to know why?!
"Should I be worried about it, I don't know, exploding when I use it? Sending me porn while I'm trying to do some research?"
"Well, now that you mention it..." Gabriel laughed at Sam's all new and improved bitch-face that he only brought out on special occasions when Gabriel was really pissing him off. "Relax, it's not going to bite you. I figured you two chuckleheads would find your jobs a whole lot easier if you had the proper equipment. And I'm trying to get you to like me, too."
Sam raised a skeptical eyebrow, that made other skeptically raised eyebrows tremble and bow down in reverence to their master. "Really?"
"No, not really. I want you to stop cock-blocking me while I try to bang your brother." Ah. There was the real end-game. And, predictably, it came with mental images Sam never ever wanted to see, oh my God, that's disgusting!
"Dude, ew!" Sam yelled in a manly fashion. He thinks.
"Oh come on! I've never met anyone so against people talking about sex around them since Mary, and jeez, she was ever the blushing virgin!" The Archangel Sam once associated with trumpets and messengers rather than candy and innuendos laughed at his own joke.
"Whatever, just stop talking about my brother like that!"
Whether it was Gabriel's own doing, or Dean's planning, or just that streak of horror-inducing bad luck that seemed to follow Sam around like a bad smell, Sam didn't know, but Dean decided that now would be a good time to burst into the room, lock eyes with Gabriel, and say: "Just got the upholstery in the back seats done, wanna fuck in the Impala?"
I swear, Sam thought to himself as his brother and the Archangel rushed out of the door giggling, I will get them both. One of these days, I will get them back for this. He glanced down at the shining beacon of electronics that sat before him. After I go through the setup options on the MacBook...