Title : Dying Inside
Autor : LaMartienneElfique
Disclamer: All the caracters belong to J.J. Abrams
Summary : Kate goes in the jungle alone without telling anyone and she feels so alone. One Shot Kate/Sawyer.
ONE SHOT : "Dying Inside"
She was walking through the jungle, looking for something. She didn't care about the polar bear or the monster any more. Not at this time. All she wanted was to be alone, to be somewhere quiet. The only way to get what she was looking for was to leave the beach. So she did. And she didn't tell anyone. Who cares about her anyway? Nobody. She was totally alone, like she always was. That's how her life was since... She couldn't remember.
The night was falling. Everything was getting dark and cold. May be to get away from the beach wasn't a good idea, but it was too late to get back. She decided to run away. Away from Jack, away from Sawyer and all the survivors and the dead bodies. She had enough emotions for the rest of her life.
She stopped, looked at the sky and sighed. There was no stars but many grey clouds. Kate decided to find a place to sleep for the night. Then, she climbed in a tree, leaned her head on the trunk and closed her eyes.
The sun was rising in the sky when she woke up, but there was also something shinning on the ground. She get down from the tree and he was there.
"Breakfast ! Are you hungry, Freckles?" He said, smiling at her with a boar with a knife in the throat on his shoulders.
"What are you doing out there!" She asked to him.
"Following you, but after that, I became very hungry so I hunted some damn boar during two hours. Can you imagine! Two hours for a fucking breakfast!"
"I'm not hungry."
"Are you sure?" Sawyer asked with a grin while he was lighting a fire.
"Yeah." She said before she began to walk away from him.
"Hey Sweetheart, where are you going?"
"Somewhere." She told without looking at him.
"Don't you have the time to talk a little bit before hiking out there?"
She stopped walking and turned back.
"There's no hurry except if you saw a McDonald from your tree. Come on, Freckles!"
"All right." She said in a sigh.
Kate sat next to him and stared at the grass without saying anything.
"So, what's wrong?" Asked Sawyer to her.
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"Oh, sure. That's why you run away from the beach like a fugitive?"
Like a fugitive. A fugitive. Yes, she was a fugitive. Well, until the marshall caughted her in Australia. But now, she was free again, but not quite. She was stuck on that island. However, there was the only place where she could get free away from the civilisation.
"Freckles, are you with me?"
"What?"
"You should eat something."
Sawyer gave her a dish of boar, but she didn't touch it. She piked up her bag and began to walk.
"I have to go." Kate said quickly to him.
This time, he didn't said anything to convince her to stay. He just watched her walk away trough the trees. She was a very complicated girl. She was hungry, but she told him she don't. Every thing she said to him since they were on the island was only lies. He knew that. He has been telling lies to everybody himself. But he didn't understood why Kate was hiding her feelings like that. Damn it, that was her problem.
Far away in the jungle, Kate was still walking. Where she was going like that? She didn't know. She didn't even care. She just wanted to walk away before going crazy. But there was always all that awful pictures in her head. The blood, the pilot, the bodies, the fear but she was also thinking about the kiss she shared with Sawyer. Her heart was beating so fast. It scared her. Her heart didn't do that when she was kissing Jason. Why the hell it happened with Sawyer? She didn't knew the answer, but she felt the beating of her heart coming back so fast again.
Many hours later, the jungle was in the darkness. Kate was very tired and scared. She had no food and her bottle was empty now. She decided to light a fire when it became to rain.
"I'm going to die out here. Yeah, that's how all it will end." She said to herself while she sat down.
Then, there was no sound but the silence. She felt a tear on her cheek. She was lost and all alone, crying in the darkness.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb
Without a soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home
(Wake me up) Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside
(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up) Before I come undone
(Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
(Wake me up) Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside
(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up) Before I come undone
(Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become
Bring me to life
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life
Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead
All of this time, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life
(Wake me up) Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside
(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up) Before I come undone
(Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become
Bring me to life
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life
« Kate ? »
She stopped sobbing when she heard the voice calling her name. Sawyer was stading in the rain in front of her. He found her in the darkness of the night. When he looked her in the eyes, he saw so much fear and so much despair. She opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't say anything to him. Her body was trembling. She was so weak. Sawyer sat down next to Kate on the ground and held her in his arms against him. At this time he knew it. What he was feeling for her during so many days was more than physical attraction. He really loved her.
"Stop crying and sleep. I'll stay with you as long as you want."
"Forever."
"That's very long."
She laughed.
"I know."
"Well, forever then."
Kate leaned back her head on Sawyer's chest and fell asleep. He kissed her on the cheek, closed his eyes and fell asleep too. They were not alone anymore. They were together now.