A/N:
So after Connected some of you asked for the showersexscene. I have no objections to any of you working with my idea.
I have to say, I am not bad at writing build ups for such scenes, but I am pretty bad, I think, at actual smut writing, at least for now.
So I hope you guys will instead accept some more Fluff from me...
...and enjoy. Cuddels ahead.
Distal
Blaine is lying awake late into the night, watching Kurt's breath even and deeply relaxed, in that way Kurt only months ago told him, he only truly can feel himself growing when close...to...Blaine.
Blaine's eyelids flutter shut, eventually. Luckily, he does not need his sight to know Kurt is still here, still close.
The mere idea of distance, of any kind, has become heavier and harder to bare, with more and more days, more and more weeks, passing. Graduation now only days, mere days away.
Rationally Blaine does know, has been sure ever since the talk in Miss Pillsbury's office, the love, their love, is no less strong with Kurt walking at a safe distance at school.
Safe, Blaine thinks, pulling Kurt closer still, needing to feel...needing to feel more, deeper that there is nothing to come between them, ever, if they keep refusing to allow it to.
I want to feel you, and Blaine finds himself wishing into the night, "I wish you allowed me, asked me, more often this year to show you how safe being close to you, holding you, no matter where we are makes me feel. With your hand in mine, feeling you I...I feel so, so very safe and...loved." A heavy sigh trembles from his throat, past his lips, his breath caressing Kurt's skin, having him stir for a brief moment in Blaine's arms before settling again into their shared comfort, love, and warmth.
Especially these last days Blaine has grown hyper-aware, hypersensitive to the more of distance they keep at school, and in other public places, especially at school.
These days, the warmth of spring is beginning to mix with the first heat of a soon to be summer, and Blaine is sure It should not be like this...but never before has Blaine been longing deeper for Kurt's warmth to hold him.
Blaine knows, I know, he thinks, as he runs his right hand through his sleeping boyfriend's hair - Kurt having buried himself deep in his boyfriend's embrace, and Blaine having tenderly tightened his embrace, trying to encompass all of Kurt with his warmth - I know you are trying to...I know all you want is to protect me from abuse you fear might come when you are not right there, right here...with me, anymore, to pull me into the next maintenance cupboard with you and warm me under your wide coats, in winter, or out the next door into the sunshine, on the warmer days of spring. "I will be fine, Kurt. As long as you love me...from near or afar...I will always be fine," Blaine, his own eyes still closed lightly, whispers softly into the night air filtering in through the cracked open window of Kurt's bedroom. It might be naive, sure, but it too certainly is how Blaine does feel, how deep he does feel for Kurt.
"I love you," it is a soft murmur falling gently from Kurt's lips.
And Blaine can tell, by the sound, has heard it before, that Kurt is still fast asleep. The first time he figured it out it had just become a new thing for him to love about Kurt, still is.
"I love you." I wish I could hold you this close...always. "I wish you would let me hold you this close, no matter where we are," Blaine whispers brokenly into the dark surrounding them, wishing the feeling of freedom were as big inside both of them, as the wish for freedom already is that they carry inside.
"To not have to let you go...," Blaine allows himself to give in to the fantasy of a world in which they would not have to try their relationship like this.
It is a sweet dream...
...and in the morning there will be a new awakening, but also...
...one day less to worry, and a future, their future
...together...
closer.
A/N: Blaine really needed to allow himself to think and feel these things, and wish, wish for all the things he hopes for.
Hope you found this worthwhile reading. I certainly found it more than worthwhile writing.
Love, M