AN: What's this? A TVD/Welcom to Night Vale crossover? Yes indeed! I've decided I want to live in total AUs, and wanted the Originals to be completely out of their element. Thus this idea was born. You don't have to listen to the podcast to be able to enjoy it (I don't think) as characters from it will be explained when they're introduced. Just know Night Vale makes MF look downright normal.

A Sleepy Desert Town

"They're at it again."

Caroline looked up from the test results she was working on while eating a slice of pizza – wheat and wheat by-product free and from Big Rico's, of course – to look at one of her best friends, Bonnie Bennet. Bonnie wore her dark hair cut short around her cheeks and held a box in her arms. It held her special brand of blood stones, the ones that always made the Hooded Figures shy away.

"Who's at what again?" Caroline asked, wondering if she was going to have to stop Enzo from drinking Matt dry again. Matt had a tough enough time staying alive with his job at the radio station, adding in Enzo's odd love of his blood made the blonde boy's life even more difficult

"Elena and her double," Bonnie replied, setting the box down and rummaging through. She pulled out one of the blood stones, this one with runes written in an acidic green, and Caroline shivered slightly. No wonder the Hooded Figures shied away. Whatever power Bonnie managed to put into those things – and Caroline knew from insider info that not even the Sheriff's Secret Police could figure that out – they made Caroline feel cold.

Forcing her thoughts away from the blood stones, Caroline focused instead on what Bonnie had said. Ever since the sandstorm months (or was it years?) ago, their other best friend, Elena, had been faced by her double multiple times. Caroline had managed to kill her own with the gun the Sheriff had given her when she was ten and began her mandatory target practice classes with the other children her age. When Bonnie and Elena had quit at fifteen, Caroline had continued into the advanced classes. Killing her other self hadn't been difficult. She didn't know if Bonnie had managed to do the same, but she did know that Elena was the only one still haunted by the double.

"Maybe we should stop them," Caroline mused, tapping her fingers on the report. She needed to get it done in the next hour, had promised Carlos she would have it finished… but Elena was her best friend, and if she needed help…

"Can you magically tell them apart?" Bonnie asked, dropping the green runed stone back into her box and pulling out one with pink runes instead, eyeing it critically. "Because unless you can, then what are we going to do? Shoot and hope we hit the right Elena?"

"I was sort of hoping you would be able to tell them apart," Caroline replied with a huff. Bonnie knew all sorts of mystical stuff, why not that one? But the look the other girl shot her said that it wasn't something she could do. "I don't know… maybe we could try talking to them?"

"We don't talk to doubles," Bonnie retorted, echoing the words they had heard on the radio time and again. "We kill them. Elena will be fine… or she won't be fine and her double will take over her life. Either way, we won't know."

That was true, Caroline mused with a slow nod. Eventually one double would win out, and even all these months later, no one really knew which Dana had survived, and she was mayor now. So maybe this would just be a character development exercise for Elena, a way to test her since she seemed to get everything so easily otherwise.

"What are you looking for?" Caroline asked, putting worries for Elena aside as Bonnie began to dig through the box once more.

"I have stones I want to give Matt. If he uses them to pray, I think they'll help him fly under the radar of Station Management. You know they've been acting oddly lately."

That was true. Everyone had heard the rumblings of Station Management in Cecil's show, and it did make Caroline worry a bit, for her blonde friend. Matt needed the money, but she didn't want to hear him be yet another name to whose family Cecil extended his condolences.

"Do they fall within regulation?" Caroline asked, her expression growing a little severe. It was important, of course, to follow the laws. Otherwise Bonnie would be taken away for re-education. And yeah, the caves had HBO, but it wasn't even Game of Thrones season yet, so really it would just be a painful waste of a stay.

"Of course," Bonnie replied, as though Caroline were crazy to suggest otherwise. Caroline just nodded, because she needed to be sure.

"I have reports of some new residents in town. They bought the mansion that the greatly loved and missed Marcus Vanston left behind when he suddenly ascended to the heavens, and have been seen wandering the streets by Big Rico's. There is a dark aura to these new people, so I'm sure that they are perfectly safe and will be great contributors to our sleepy little community. After all, anyone rich enough to live where Marcus once lived has proven their worth to society and should be accepted by all."

Bonnie and Caroline both cocked their heads at Cecil's words, coming out of the radio on the counter. As one, they turned to look at the entrance to Big Rico's, and as if they had been summoned by the radio host's voice, there they were. Five strangers, each beautiful in their own way, and when Caroline's eyes landed on the man standing at the front of the little group, a dimpled blonde with blue eyes, for a moment her thoughts turned fanciful, recalling when Carlos had arrived in town and the way Cecil had waxed poetic about him.

He grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly.

But Caroline shook the fanciful thoughts away, because she didn't fall in love instantly. Not since she broke up with Tyler after that incident with the dog park. No, she ran town committees. She interned with Carlos. She planned to go to the University of What Is, and study science, which still scared her a little, because everyone knew that higher education was dangerous… but Caroline had survived three summer reading programs in her youth, something not even the brave young Tamika Flynn could brag about.

But still… the man was beautiful. And beautifully dark.

"They're trouble," Bonnie murmured, expression nearly mutinous as she looked at the newcomers, and Caroline frowned at her, because hadn't Cecil just said that they would be good for Night Vale?

Then again, Cecil wasn't always right. But Bonnie's instincts were spot on, so Caroline looked at the visitors through her cynic's gaze – something she didn't use often, because the Town Council could never decide whether cynicism was council approved every day, or just on alternating Tuesdays.

As though he felt her gaze, the man turned his blue eyes to her and gave her a charming (albeit dark) smile. For a moment, Caroline swore she saw a demon in her eyes, and it sent a not completely unpleasant shiver down her spine.

"Hello, Love," he said in an accent that might have been European, and Caroline wondered if he was from Svitz, or maybe Franchia. Cecil had regaled her with tales of his European journeys when he'd come to the lab to visit Carlos, and ever since, Caroline had wanted nothing more than to see the Land of Arches, or roll down the hills and laugh with Enzo, who promised that he would be her travelling partner. Though Caroline wasn't sure how that would work. She wasn't sure Eternal Scouts were allowed to leave Night Vale.

"Who are you?" Bonnie asked before Caroline could say anything. Her grip on her box of blood stones had tightened, and the one that sat on the table before her, this one with blue runes, seemed to vibrate, and Caroline swore the runes were glowing.

"Aren't you a saucy bit," drawled one of the man's companions, this one with hair that couldn't seem to decide if it was blonde or brown and a youthful, charming face.

"Careful of the blood stone," Caroline said to him, when he sidled closer to Bonnie, his hand almost grazing the stone. "They don't like to be touched unless Bonnie's given them to you."

"Blood stone?" asked the lone female of the group, a lovely blonde whose arm was looped with that of a russet haired man with green eyes. "What the bloody hell is a blood stone?"

"If you don't know, then maybe you shouldn't be in Night Vale," Bonnie responded coolly. "Caroline, I'm going to go see if Elena's finished with her double yet. Are you coming?"

Bonnie's gaze said that she didn't really mean it as a question, but more a dismissal of the new people. But Caroline was curious about these people, and she still had to finish the report for Carlos, so she gave Bonnie her best innocent smile, the one that had gotten out of mandatory re-education for reading Jane Austen on exactly two occasions, but not on the other three, because the Sheriff didn't want anyone to think they were playing favorites with their daughter.

"Sorry, Bon. But Carlos is really counting on me to finish this for him."

"Of course he is," Bonnie replied, her tone saying that she knew Caroline was bullshitting her, because Bonnie always knew such things, especially when it came to her best friend. But she also knew that Caroline could be stubborn, and since she wouldn't be breaking any laws by speaking to these new people, there was really no argument to be made. "I'm going to send Enzo in your direction, if I see him."

A protection method, because Eternal Scouts were stronger and faster than the regular denizens of Night Vale – one of the reasons they all drank vervain tea, to level the playing field a little bit – and Enzo, who had always been protective of Caroline, had become even more so since he received his badge.

Her promise made, Bonnie gave the strangers one more severe look, and grabbed her box and the blood stone from the table and stalked away.

"She's charming, isn't she?" asked the young man with the charming face, and Caroline thought the look in his eyes might be hunger, which made her narrow her own, because she didn't think she liked that expression, not when it was aimed at Bonnie.

"When she wants to be," Caroline replied. "She makes the best blood stones in town, so you should be nice to her, if you want to stay safe when you're chanting at the void."

The strangers turned blank expressions to her, and Caroline nibbled on her pizza and sipped her coke, glancing at her paper and making a note.

"Chanting at the void," the blonde man said at last, his voice sounding somewhat strangled. "And why would we do that, Love?"

"Well… what else is there to do on a Friday night?" Caroline replied, wondering why on Earth he would ask such a silly question. Night Vale was boring, especially since Strex had been defeated and Carlos had found his way back from the Desert world. Chanting at the void killed the tedium for a few hours, and worked up a good appetite that could be quenched at the Arby's.

"Oh, this is incredibly stupid," the girl spat, and she moved to stand in front of Caroline with a speed that she had only ever seen used by Enzo. She leaned down to look Caroline in the eye, and her pupils dilated. "We're looking for a woman. Katerina Petrova. You may know her as Katherine Pierce. Where is she?"

Caroline quirked her head at the command, and wondered who the hell Katerina Petrova, or Katherine Pierce, was.

"The strangers are looking for a woman named Katherine Pierce. I don't know anyone by that name, although we did have Katherine for an intern once. Our condolences remain with her family."

The woman's gaze darted to the radio, surprise written across her features at Cecil's words.

"I didn't know there was an Eternal Badge for the girl scouts," Caroline mused, drawing Rebekah's gaze back to her. "Where did you get it?"

"Eternal… badge?" asked the fifth member of the group, a dark haired man in a suit that reminded Caroline of the agents from the vague yet menacing government agents. She wondered if he was one… only they didn't speak to the citizens of the town. Not without someone from the Sheriff's Secret Police there to protect Night Vale's interests.

"Well, yes. You are vampires, aren't you? I recognize the attempt to use the mind thingy on me. I used to let Enzo use me for practice all the time, before they started putting the vervain in the water system. He made me say mountains were real. I had to go for re-education, but since it was Game of Thrones season I really didn't mind."

Caroline shrugged uncomfortably under the heavy stares of the family, and decided that maybe she wasn't so interested in them after all. They were weird. They acted like they didn't understand what she was saying… and they didn't chant to the void. Yes, not at all the type of people Caroline wanted to consort with. She was the daughter of the Sheriff, after all. And the attitude of these people all but screamed re-educate me.

She couldn't get in any more trouble than she already did with her reading habits, and that time she accidentally called one of Old Lady Josie's "angels" real. Her parent had made her promise, that she would behave herself, or else there would be no University of What Is for her. Bad enough, going for higher education. But getting it when she couldn't obey the simplest of laws?

No, Caroline had to be on her best behavior.

"Well, it was nice meeting you," she said, carefully stacking her empty plate and plastic cup in one hand and grabbing her research with the other. "But I've become terribly distracted from my work, and I should get back to the lab, so I can get this report finished up and handed into my boss. But welcome to Night Vale. I hope… I hope you find whatever you're looking for."

She pushed past them, only to come up short when her arm was caught in a warm grip.

"Wait, Love, I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot," said the man with the dimples. "My name is Klaus. My family and I, we would greatly appreciate your assistance in navigating your town. My brothers, Elijah and Kol, and my sister Rebekah and her… companion, Stefan. We're a little new, to this small town experience."

For a moment Caroline nearly said yes, because his smile was charming, and his dimples were cute, and they were from the outside. And hadn't she always been so curious about what happened outside Night Vale? It was why she pursued her internship with Carlos, why she questioned Cecil about Europe, why she was so desperate to go to university.

And these people knew it.

But they could only give her stories, and Caroline was tired of stories. She wanted to see it all for herself. So she tore her arm away from his grip and gave her best charming smile, the one she always used on the Librarians to get a book recommendation, right before she swung a chair into their snarling maws and made her escape, book in hand.

"I'm sorry, but I'm very busy. You should go to the town office and see if they can assign someone. Or even better, go see Cecil at the radio station. He knows everything about everyone."

The man, Klaus, glanced at the radio.

"Who knows what these strangers will bring to our little town. Or if this Katherine Pierce is really even here. You know how some people can be. They think they have the right place, when really they want Desert Bluffs."

While Klaus was distracted by confusion over the hatred in Cecil's voice at the name of their rival town, Caroline quickly made her escape. Behind her the radio host's soothing voice echoed.

"Good night, Night Vale. Good night."

AN: And there it is. If you have any questions, just ask.