I own no one.

A/N Okay so this is a fluffy RPF AKA Real Person Fic. It is a completely and utterly false story about two people who actually exist, in this case Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann but this is not meant to be insulting or mean or degrading. It is made for fun, it in NO way is truth, and it is in no way meant to be taken serious and if you all could not report me that would be great. So, as always, Read, Enjoy, and Review but mostly Enjoy. :-) And not report me. Because that would be mean. Thank you. And don't report me.

"You're staring again."

"I'm not staring."

"You are and it's sad."

Mariska rolled her eyes as she turned from watching Stephanie, who just so happened to be talking to Peter, towards Chris who merely smirked as he took a sip of his water as they sat inside outside her trailer taking a break for lunch. "You think I stare at every single guy that comes on the set."

"You never actually stammered before. 'Oh, uh h- hi. I- I'm Mar- Mariska'," he mocked in a high falsetto voice. "I think you forgot the own 'shh' part of your name you were so nervous when you met him in the read through."

Mariska shrugged as she took a bite of her salad. "What I'm not allowed to have an off day?"

"That isn't an off day, that is you being flustered," Chris countered as he stole a plum tomato from on top of her food. "Plus he's exactly your type."

Mariska narrowed her eyes in confusion. "How the hell do you know my type, I've been single every day since I met you."

"I've seen pictures of your exes. You're into tall guys with blue eyes."

"Green," Mariska corrected quickly.

"Okay so you're into tall guys with dark green eyes."

"Light green."

Chris smirked as he took another sip of his water. "Thank you for proving my point."

"That means nothing!"

"You didn't even know I had blue eyes until the third week we worked together, and you know he has 'light green' eyes after working with him for 3 days? One of whom he was on the opposite end of the table?" Chris raised his brow at his co star. "Don't try to tell me even for a minute you aren't into him."

Mariska sighed as she rolled her eyes. "Fine fine so he's tall and good looking and single so sue me! I'm allowed to look if I want."

Chris shook his head and chuckled as she sighed and they both turned their attention back towards Peter and Stephanie, both of whom was talking to one another with smiles on their faces. "I never felt this way about any other guy before, including the one I was engaged to. It's like we... we have this connection you know? From the moment we met it was like sparks. At least for me."

"I've seen the way he looks at you and talks to you. He's got it just as bad, trust me. Plus you're always joking and having fun with him when you guys talk."

Mariska shook her head. "Only when we're in a group."

"So get him to talk outside of the group."

"Yeah can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because every time I try to talk to him I get nervous and I stammer and my heart starts racing and I can't breathe."

"All the more reason to talk to him."

Mariska rolled her eyes and gestured towards Peter and Stephanie. "No. Plus look at him with Stephanie. He's into her."

"He is not into her in the least!" Chris protested. "Are you kidding me?"

"Then why are they always going off and talking to one another in private?" Mariska demanded.

"Maybe they're talking about how much he likes you?" offered Chris with a shrug.

The actress rolled her eyes as she took another bite of her salad and turned back to the pair. "That's not it at all. Trust me, he likes her."

xXxXx

"Do you think I'll come across like a Gold Digger?"

"If you keep asking me that I'll tell her you are."

Peter held back a sigh as he glanced over towards Mariska and Chris who were taking a break and looked deep in thought. "I never felt this kind of connection with any woman before. When we met it was just... fireworks. I know it'll sound crazy but I feel we both connected."

Stephanie smiled at him. "I bet she feels the same way."

Peter continued to gaze at Mariska for several more seconds before he turned back towards Stephanie. "If I make a fool of myself-."

"I don't think it's possible for you to screw up. Hell you pronounced her name right the first time with no glitches. That takes skill."

"The point is... is that I've... never done all that well with the opposite sex. I was a nerd in High School, two or three non serious girlfriends in college, very few serious relationships since... I can't screw this up with her or make her think I'm trying to take advantage of her."

"She won't think that and you won't screw up," Stephanie assured him with a gentle smile. "Every time you talk to me it has been about that woman. I've told you enough about her that you could write her autobiography. At this point I think you could write one on her mother as well."

"Which is a highly sensitive topic not to be discussed," Peter repeated the advice Stephanie had told him the first day they met when Peter had asked if Mariska would find it insulting or flattering he knew about her Hollywood Legacy family.

"Very good but you know what she likes, how to win her over, how not to make her go running away screaming... Just be confident, walk over there, smile, and ask her if she wants to run lines."

Peter took a deep breath before he nodded and turned towards Mariska. "Wish me luck," he muttered.

Telling himself he was nuts for even being remotely interested in the woman he was about to go over and speak to he walked over to where Mariska and Chris were sitting still talking to one another. When he approached closer he shoved his hands in his pockets so she wouldn't see him fidgeting.

Chris noticed him first and elbowed Mariska who was immersed in a text she had just received in the ribs to make her look up. "That hurt, wop," she told him without looking up from her phone.

"Well pay attention then, bohunk."

"To what?"

"To the tall guy you've been eye fucking all day walking towards you."

Mariska snapped her head up and she turned towards Peter. Her face fell and she swallowed hard as he walked over to them.

Peter offered a smile and Mariska forced one to her lips, already feeling her hands go cold and clammy from the nerves. "Hello Chris, Mariska."

Before Mariska could say anything Chris nodded at him and stood up. "Hey, Peter. Here I'm done stealing her food and feeling her up when no one's looking, take my place."

Leaving Peter slightly bewildered Chris clapped Mariska's shoulder and walked off. Mariska cleared her throat as she looked up at him and offered him a somewhat nervous smile.

"So... you wanna sit down?" she asked.

"Thank you"

Peter sat down besides Mariska, making sure to move his seat away form her somewhat as to not make her feel uncomfortable. Mariska gave him another smile as she picked up another piece of tomato with her fork.

"You wanna hear something interesting about tomatoes?" asked Peter as he nodded towards her salad.

"Sure," Mariska said a bit to eagerly as she set down her fork so she wouldn't be caught talking with her mouth full.

"A Tomato isn't the only fruit mistaken for a vegetable," he began. "True fruits are developed from the ovary in the base of the flower, and contain the seeds of the plant. So by that definition that also makes cucumbers, squash, green beans fruits as well. Vegetables are parts of the plants that don't carry the seeds like the stems, leaves, flowers, roots..."

Mariska looked down at her salad before she looked back up at Peter. "So what you're saying is by eating fruits, you're actually eating out the plant?"

Peter opened his mouth to agree but when he realized what she was saying he closed it and cleared his throat. "Uh... yeah."

He was about to excuse himself and walk away from her when he heard her laugh. The sound relaxed him enough to smile at the joke she had made, feeling comfortable enough to pull his hands out of his pockets.

"That's actually very interesting," she told him with a smile after she was done laughing. "Where'd you learn that?"

"When I was in college one of my professors used to put random facts like that in for extra credit to see if we were really listening. He;d be talking about the subject on and on and on then without missing a beat he'd give us a random fact and go right back to his lecture. Then he'd give us a question on the test for bonus points."

"And I have a feeling you were one of the guys that got all of the random questions correct?"

"Very much so."

Mariska put down her salad, knowing she wasn't going to be able to eat the rest of it without laughing and instead picked up her bottle of water. "Where'd you go to school?"

"Yale," he answered without hesitation. "English major."

Mariska whistled low. "Wow. So what made you go into acting?"

"I thought I was good at it and it'd make more money then being a fact checker at vanity fair," he said with a quick laugh "But what about you? Have you always wanted to act?"

"Believe it or not, not really. It wasn't until high school that I got involved in acting that I realized how much I loved it."

"And how good you were at it," he added with a smile.

Mariska blushed and gave him a soft grin. "Thank you."

They were launched into a quick bout of silence before Peter spoke. "So Mariska is an beautiful name, what heritage are you?"

Mariska blushed once more and couldn't help the sheepish grin that rose to her lips. "Thank you. And it's Hungarian. It's actually quite common over there, it's their 'Mary.' What about you?"

"I'm full blooded German," he told her, feeling more confident by the moment when it came to her.

"So you're a krout," she said with a short laugh.

And the confidence was gone.

Peter raised his brow at her insult. There was no way she had just insulted him like that...

"Oh that's funny," he told her with a bit more anger then he had wanted to show her.

Mariska's face fell and her eyes went wide when she realized she had crossed a line. "That- I- um.. It- that wa- was a joke," she told him quickly stammering through her apology.

"Yeah, I'm sure. If you'll excuse me I need to go practice my lines."

Without a single look back Peter got up from the chair Chris had offered and walked away.

"Peter, wait it was just a joke!" Mariska cried out but he didn't even flinch. "Are you kidding me right now!" she groaned as she threw her face into her open palms.

Chris and Stephanie who had been watching with eager eyes from afar quickly walked over to her when they saw the abrupt mood swing from Peter and the face palm from Mariska.

"What happened?" Chris demanded taking the seat he had been using.

Stephanie twisted her hair nervously as she waited for Mariska to answer. If she had given Peter bad advice then she could be on the fault for ruining what could have been an amazing relationship.

"I did something stupid and now he'll probably never wanna talk to me again," Mariska mumbled with her head still firmly in her hands.

"I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad," Chris said with a supportive smile and wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah I'm sure you're just over reacting," Stephanie added.

"He told me he was German so I called him a krout and he stormed off."

"Yup, you're gonna die alone."

Mariska picked her head up to glare at Chris for a moment before she sank back into her chair. "How the hell could I do this? It was just a joke, I didn't mean for him to get so offended!"

"Yes because calling someone an ethnic slur always make everything so much better. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't know! We were smiling and laughing and joking and I just thought it would be funny."

Chris shook his head as he too leaned back in his chair. "You really are a bohunk sometimes, you know that, Hargitay?"

"I think I've handled all the ethnic slurs I can take for one day, thanks," she said dryly. "But what the hell am I gonna do, Chris? I don't want him to leave the set angry at me."

Just as Chris opened his mouth there was a shrill beep on the set coming from what seemed like every direction followed by someone on a loud speaker. "Ten minute warning. All talent and principal crew for scene 4-1 needed on set. Ten minute warning."

Mariska sighed as she and Chris stood up from their chairs. "What the hell am I gonna do?" she asked as they made their way to the set.

Chris shrugged as he held open the door for her. "Apologize and maybe he'll forgive you. If not you're gonna die sad and alone because you're socially awkward and called him a rude and demeaning name."

Mariska stopped and looked at him for a moment before she shook her head and walked in front of him with Chris chuckling softly behind her thinking of only one thing; "this is gonna be fun to watch."

This is a Multi Chap fic, not sure how long but *shrugs* you can't have enough Petska RPF.. So please review, I tried REALLY hard to get the characterization good but so be honest and please review :-)