A.N. Time to take a trip back to my writing roots and attempt a humor story. While I've written humor before and tend to incorporate it into my stories quite often, it has been a long time since I've strictly limited a story to just humor. Let me know how I do! With that out of the way, this story centers around a class session with everyone's favorite exorcists-in-training and their teacher who is oddly younger than most—if not all—of them and his attempt to teach them a very important lesson. I'll leave it at that. Enjoy!
Yukio Okumura found it unnecessary to demand the class quiet down, for the tome he had just dropped onto his desk left a resonating boom throughout the classroom that did the job just fine. With all eyes—some impassive, some questioning, some curious—on him, he cleared his throat and began the day's lecture with only minor reluctance. "Today's curriculum is a bit different than the norm," he began while thinking deeply on just how this topic could possibly be as bad as the other teachers had claimed, "I will be teaching you all about the Seven Deadly Sins." Really, how bad could it be? The other teachers had forced the lecture onto him and told him it was how they hazed the new ambitious teachers; it was the only way to become an officially recognized teacher, Mephisto had added after eavesdropping onto the conversation.
Yukio had expected someone to speak out about the necessity of such a lecture, and when Suguro did just that he listened patiently. "This sounds like a waste of time. Even a rookie like Rin knows about this stuff." The grunt that came from the target of Suguro's insult was all that the demon could muster before Yukio spoke again.
"This is a bit different," Yukio stated while pushing his glasses up. "I realize most of you," he suddenly glared at Rin, "know about the Seven Deadly Sins. However," he paused to open the book in front of him: The Divine Comedy – Exorcist's Edition. After turning a few pages he raised his gaze and surveyed the class. "What none of you have experienced are the demons associated with these sins."
Konekomaru spoke out now. "Each sin has a demon?"
Yukio nodded. "Yes. Today you will be subjected to those demons."
Shiemi bit her lip and clutched her yukata. "Are they really deadly?"
"Give me a break," Izumo chided with a grunt. She crossed her arms over her chest, annoyed by the blonde's weak display.
Yukio laughed. "They are indeed deadly, however only in the sense that the demons are very good tempters and difficult to resist." He smiled upon seeing Shiemi relax a bit and nod. "With that said, I'd like to remind you all not to give into their temptations. This is—"
"Yeah yeah, let's just get on with it already, brother," Rin interrupted while stifling a yawn. Rin could tell his brother was angry just by seeing his narrow eyes glaring at him, their power intensified by the lenses of his glasses.
"Very well." The words of Yukio seethed anger even though he spoke them docilely. He had already chosen which sin to begin with after having decided not to go in their numeric order. "We'll begin with the seventh sin, also known as the original of the seven and the most serious." He took a small needle from atop his desk and pricked his thumb with it, allowing the blood to drip onto a symbol within the book; not surprisingly, the page was extremely bloodstained from previous use. His hair suddenly blew back as energy burst from the page. Small demons that looked greatly like Coal Tar fungi erupted in large numbers from the page like a geyser. "Please understand that you are not to fight the demons, but simply resist them instead. Surely by now you all are more than strong enough to tackle this test." He closed his eyes, blotting the surprised visages of the entire class from his sight. "Should this prove true by you all easily resisting Pride's temptation then the rest of this will be, in layman's terms, a 'cakewalk.'"
Yukio opened his eyes.
"I'm the one who's going to beat the shit out of Satan, you hear me?!"
"The hell you are!"
"I'm going to be a great exorcist! All of you just wait and see! Watch me!"
"I'm going to defeat Satan with a single Aria verse!"
"Man, all of you are such drags. Just give up. You'll never be as great as me."
"Don't be getting so full of yourself now, Moriyama! Just because you summoned a pipsqueak familiar doesn't mean you'll ever be anywhere near my caliber!"
"Silence you fools! You all are mere pawns in the grand scheme of Nemu Takara! In the end I will devour your souls and feast on the succulent marrow of your bones and tender meat of your flesh!"
As in the beginning, Yukio Okumura found it unnecessary to demand the class quiet down, as some other happening did that job just fine. In this case it was the sudden grotesque outburst by the normally silent puppet guy who stood in the back corner of the classroom, all eyes on him. Yukio examined the rest of the class: Suguro, Rin, Shiemi, Konekomaru, Shima, and Izumo. Every single one of them had been possessed by Pride. A nonchalant glance to his watch informed him that not even a minute had passed since he released the demons. As he began the verse to dispel the demons, he realized just why the other teachers had forced this task onto him. He had greatly underestimated it and the ability of his students.
It was going to be a long and excruciating day…
A.N. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. One sin down, six to go!