A/N: For my deep love of The Journal by LadyDunla

I don't own the characters

Thorin Oakenshield prided himself in being in control. Yes, he has a temper. But then again, most dwarves had. But everything he knew about self-control was thrown out of the window when he met Kate Andrews.

The Queen under the Mountain could silence even the most vicious of person. Not only had she managed to insult a powerful enemy the likes of Azog the Defiler, but she was able to insult the woodland elves' sorry excuse for a king. And she has managed to keep that mouth of hers, which proved to be his temper-controlling bane and one of the reasons why Erebor thrived the way it has these years.

After reclaiming the Mountain from Smaug, they didn't waste any time in bringing it back to its formerglory. And it turned out that Kate was perfect for the job of ordering people about. But one particular incident though would turn Kate scarier than the firedrake they killed—that was when she had her monthly period.

Not that it wasn't controlled by that elvish concoction she took for the pain, but she sometimes forgot to take it when there were so many things that needed to be fixed. And the people would cower around her like she might have unleashed the dragon's breath.

One particular day stands out the most though as what he now dubs as Kate's worst cramps ever. And no, Kate didn't turn into a firedrake herself. It might have also the worst day ever in his life. It was a few months after she had given birth to the twins. Thorin was busy discussing with the council how to strengthen the back side of the Mountain when his second son, Thráin, came bursting into the council chamber.

"Father! Amad is dead!" Thorin felt his blood ran cold and felt as if the world stopped turning, since he was momentarily frozen to the ground he was standing on. It was like everything he dreaded. He knew that Kate wasn't going to live long. But this—this was too soon! She's just given him his fourth and fifth children, something he clearly didn't even dare to dream of. But he surely didn't want his twins to grow up not knowing their mother.

He didn't even excuse himself from the council. He rushed out, took Thráin's hands and gruffly asked him where his mother was. "She's in her study. Thoren found her in the floor." His son's hands were equally trembling. Poor thing, he was only 12 years old. Barely a man. To lose their mother at such a young age would require his children to grow up fast, something he clearly didn't want for them to experience. He saw that happen to his sister-sons and he wouldn't wish it on his children. Even though they had a responsibility to be the future leaders of the Mountain and they needed to behave like the royals that they were, but still, he didn't want them to be burdened so young.

His grip tightened as the door to Kate's study came into view. He pushed the door forcefully, and found his eldest son trying his hardest to carry his mother. Why hadn't his sons called out to the guards? And where in Durin's name were they?

"Kate!" He all but growled the woman to awake. He snatched her up from Thoren's arms and brought her hurriedly to their bed chamber. "Thoren, Thráin, call out to the guards and tell them to bring the healer. He felt Kate's skin, finding it to be cold and he just managed not to look at her face, terrified that he might lose his control completely. He all but shouted open to the guards near to their bedchamber and laid Kate on their bed.

'Kate… Kate…' he called out. At any given time, he would have been embarrassed to be so vulnerable, but at this time he couldn't imagine losing Kate within so short a time. He knew that he needed to be ready for this situation, but right now he wasn't. He was at the verge of tears as he looked at his wife's ashen face. 'Don't—don't,'Thorin choked, 'don't leave me yet.'

'I'm not, you idiot.' He heard the woman in front of him feebly saying.

'Kate!'He crushed the woman in a hug, grateful to Mahal that his wife wasn't lost yet.

'Ugh, I can't breathe Thorin.' He let go of Kate and heard the soft argument that was clearly going on between his two sons.

"I didn't say she was dead! I said she was deathly pale!"

"You shouldn't have said something along the lines of dead!"

Thorin slowly turned around and saw both of his sons standing meekly across their bed. He felt Kate's hand touch his left arm briefly. 'Go easy on them. They were as terrified as you.' He gave her a curt but stern nod. He wanted to be angry at his sons for frightening him so much. But he knelt and touched Thoren and Thráin's right and left arm. 'Don't worry; I am not angry at you. But please, don't alarm me like that again. Are the healers outside?' His two sons nodded gravely. They were still trembling. 'Call them inside. You may go to your activities after.' His sons hurriedly ran outside and called the healers.

Thorin walked towards their bed and saw Kate smiling tightly. She was still in so much pain. 'Woman problem?' he asked, sitting down beside her. He was answered with a curt nod. 'You forgot to take that concoction again, didn't you?'

Kate scoffed and he saw the tiredness in her eyes. 'I was doing so much I forgot what day it was.'

'Your majesty?' called out one of the healers. 'We're here to assist the queen.'

Thorin rose up from the bed and gave way to the healers. Now that Kate seemed more or less accounted for, he asked Kate to excuse him so he could go back to the council, although Mahal knew he didn't want to. He wanted to stay with Kate, take care of her. But heavens, Kate could be an absolute pain when it came to his fussing. This woman didn't change a bit, even with having all the resources and riches in the world at her disposal. She still didn't like it when people fussed over her. 'I'll be fine. Go on with your duties.'

He dismissed the council early to be able to go back to Kate. But before going back to her, he called his two sons. Thoren entered with Thráin trailing behind. Clearly they were still both terrified of the situation earlier, especially Thráin, who might have resembled the color of his mother's face just a few hours ago. Bless Thoren though, his eldest son who is taking more responsibility in this. They both stopped a few inches from him. 'Father, I take responsibility in what happened earlier. I should not have spoken so tactlessly that Thráin wasn't able to hear me clearly. I promise that this won't happen again. As doesThráin as well.'

Thorin faced his sons. Thráin still wasn't meeting his eyes, but Thoren was looking at him with a dignified but apologetic face. He sat down and asked both his sons to come closer. He all but coaxed Thráin to face him as well. 'Face me,Thráin.' His second son slowly met his eyes.

'I accept your apology and I trust that this won't happen again. I urge you both to understand why I had acted that way. You must understand also and accept that your mother's life is not as long as the dwarves' are and although I know your mother would disapprove, I want you both to take care that she does not go yet until the twins can take care of themselves. Can you both do that for me?' Thoren and Thráin nodded with an incredible muster of enthusiasm. 'Very well,' Thorin said while standing, 'You may go back to your activities.'

For a while, Thorin stared at the space his two sons had just vacated. Both of them looked like dwarves, but heavens, the way they talk most of the time resembled their mother—their mouths running away before their brain could dictate. Mahal knew that he needed to do something about that, especially with Thoren, now heir to the Mountain. But right now, he could breathe easily, knowing that he will not do this alone. He stood up and made his way to his and Kate's bedchamber.

Carefully, he opened the door and saw that Kate was sleeping soundly. Not that he transformed into a man of affectionate gestures, but he couldn't help reassuring himself that his wife was still alive as he touched her head, tucking a loosed strand of her red curls behind her ear.

'Playing the romantic, Thorin Oakenshield? Whatever did you do to my husband?' the sick woman said teasingly. Thorin might have thought that he was about to lose Kate only a few minutes ago, but then he shouldn't have doubted that she was made of steel. He wouldn't lose her as soon as he might have feared. He gave her his trademark low chuckle as he took off his coat and boots. The truth was though, even with Kate starting their foolish play at affection—that is that easy banter that they've always kept—he didn't know how to counter his wife's latest remark. Because whatever happened, he loved Kate with all his heart and losing her might prove to be a far greater tragedy than when he lost Erebor once.

The Queen under the Mountain must have sensed her almost inappropriate attempt at starting their banter as she sighed heavily. Thorin turned around, only to see a Kate looking melancholic. Sometimes it was still a wonder to him how they both seemed to know what the other was thinking without them speaking about it. He knew that his wife knew how scared he was when he thought she died. 'Come here,' Kate beckoned to him, to which he responded by sitting on their bed beside her.

Kate held his right arm as she did long ago when she made the oath of protecting him from the gold lust. 'I, Catherine, Queen under the Mountain, hereby swear to tell Thorin, King under the mountain when it is time to leave. It will be my duty to remind him on that day to peacefully let go of me and then follow after at some point in time. He will not fret or complain, because he will understand and accept the situation. I also swear that I will never again frighten him into thinking that I will be gone before the appointed time.'

Thorin couldn't help it. He all but crushed his lips to Kate's as he poured his every care about losing her by telling her how much he loved her in that kiss to which Kate responded enthusiastically. He felt Kate smiling in the kiss, to which he broke it off momentarily. 'Where's your corresponding oath? I wouldn't take you for a dwarf not to give something in return.'

Thorin chuckled. Of course, he hadn't said anything since he came inside their bedchamber. He held Kate's arm and concentrated into phrasing his oath. 'I, Thorin, King under the Mountain, hereby swear to Catherine, Queen under the Mountain, to never get frightened as much as he was only a moment ago. I also swear to accept peacefully and follow immediately after Kate when it is time to leave Middle Earth.' As much as Thorin would have wanted to lead his people more even after Kate's death, he didn't think he would be able to do it without this woman—his red headed, hairless, skinny queen.

He saw his wife giving him her trademark mocking smile. 'There, you happy now? Honestly Thorin, you wouldn't have thought I would miss out on the twins' lives, did you?'

"I wouldn't have thought so. Thráin gave too much of a shock is all."

"Yes, I did hear that. I hope you weren't too hard on the boys."

"I was not."

'Good. Well then, would you like to come beside me and dream dreams with me?' Kate asked sheepishly.

Thorin laid down beside his queen, grateful that tomorrow he would still be waking up with her breathing beside him.

A/N: Although I did do this for LadyDunla, I still love reviews!

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