Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.
Whew. I'm tired--you two wore me out.
I hate that.
I don't hate Ryou--why would I? He's one of the nicest guys I know, a change from the people Joey and I usually hang out with. One I like. He's always been a good friend....And those times he hasn't, well...can't say I'd have done much differently. So I can't--won't--blame him. You can be a persuasive bastard, when you try.
You're the one I hate.
I don't know if you have a name--you haven't told, I'm not asking, and Ryou can talk to you without needing any terms. And when he talks about you you're just 'the spirit' or 'my other.'
I hate it when he uses that term. I hate how you've made him think you're a part of him, that you have some kind of right to be in his life, to take it over, to own everything he has....
...'Own.' Fuck. I hate everything about you, and you don't own me.
And one of these days, you won't own Ryou either. I'm working on that. You don't control him as much as you think.
I hate that you have any control over him, though. I hate the way he tries to play mediator, the way he lets himself be pulled into the middle of us. I hate the way he sometimes takes your side, even if he's just trying to spare me from your anger. I hate the way you know how to manipulate him to do that.
I hate the way you know him.
I hate the way you know just what he likes, how you know where to touch him in order to make him moan and immediately spread his legs. The way you make him think that he's a slut, and the way that he believes you, no matter what I say. It's there in his eyes when we fall asleep here.
I hate the way you walk through his mind--like it's your possession, like you've got some right to be there--and how you've learned to do the same to me.
I really hate you for that.
And I hate sharing Bakura with you. I hate how I can never touch him, can't even look at him in class, without you being there, somewhere, whether it's on the inside or the outside. I hate the way you're constantly there.
And I hate that I accepted that. That I traded all this humiliation for a chance with Ryou.
You've gotta know how much we loathe you. Ryou was nearly asleep, curled on his side facing you, and when I reached out to pull him over to me he whimpered and tensed--that's how much you aren't wanted here. As soon as I told him it was me, he relaxed and smiled slightly, eyes still closed in sleep. I love the way he looks like that.
I'd trade again, too. That's what I really hate. It's not Ryou's fault--he can't get away from you. But I'm working on that.
And until then, I'll stay. I'll be your bitch for moments like these, with Ryou asleep next to me and you on the other side of the bed. Away from us. And one of these days you'll be gone entirely. Even though when you touch me I want to kill you, I'll wait for the day you get destroyed by Yami.
But still....
I hate what I've become.