I wrote these as a joke and have been asked (coughtoldcough) to post them on ffnet. In case you're not clear about this from the summary, these are PURPOSELY BAD. These are NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. So if you want to flame because you think they're ridiculous and a waste of time and not funny at all, then go ahead, but if you're going to flame because you can't believe someone would write something so terrible and deem it good enough to post online, then my palm will be meeting my forehead. Multiple times. In succession.
On another note, these are actually pretty hard to write. And somehow they both ended up being modern AUs. Probably because there is a plethora of bad modern AU Zutara fanfiction out there.
"Calor" came about when I mentioned that because the word was in Spanish, it seemed like it should be some modern AU in which Katara was a Latin dancer or something—which is why the prompt itself actually has nothing to do with heat.
Calor
Katara did a Latin dance onstage for the talent show. Zuko was in the audience and when he saw it he realized he wanted to be with her forever.
The moment her dance was over he did a ninja flip onstage. "That was such a beautiful dance," he said, gazing into her deep, cerulean eyes like clear pools of still water with no fish in them. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
"Oh, Zuko," Katara cried, gazing back into his pale golden eyes like the sun on a foggy morning in the San Francisco Bay. "Of course I will."
And they kissed passionately onstage and went on to marry and make lots of babies that all turned out to excel at Latin dancing.
Gravity
Zuko was tutoring Katara in physics because she'd failed her last test. That was actually because she'd spent the entire time staring at his totally sexy back, but the teacher didn't need to know that.
She couldn't help it though; she just liked him so much. His roguishly messy silky black hair, his smoldering golden eyes... even his scar was sexy and mysterious and didn't detract from his hotness at all.
"And 9.8 m/s is...?" Zuko quizzed her. Even his voice was sexy. His voice was low and raspy like he'd broken it by screaming himself hoarse while running through the city from a murderer with two long serrated knives and a shovel, but in a totally good way.
Katara suddenly decided she was tired of failing classes waiting for him. "Gravity. Like the force that pulls me to you," she said, staring deep into his beautiful eyes, the color of two crispy chicken mcnuggets. But way sexier.
He must have felt the force too, because he grabbed her head and started making out with her. And with the sparks that were flying between them, they totally should have been studying chemistry instead.
Feel free to flame.