Lance headed towards his old teammate stiffly. Guilt and shame filled over him as he continued to walk. He always felt guilty when he spoke to Keith, yet at the same time it was the only thing that made him feel better. He held a red, red rose, knowing red was Keith's favorite color. He wanted to do everything he could to let Keith understand that he-Lance-didn't mean for everything to turn out this way. He snuggled into the comfort of his blue scarf. It was so cold. Winter would be approaching soon. It was their first winter since they made it back to Earth.
Lance gulped nervously. Keith didn't really like the winter. He always talked about how he hated the cold.
"I mean, I'm glad people like the snow and stuff." Keith had said while they were in space, "But that shit isn't for me."
"What's not to like about winter?" Lance asked, seriously shocked. Spring was his favorite season but winter was a close second.
"I'd rather be burned alive than be frozen to death." Keith had muttered darkly. He turned away from Lance.
Lance blinked in shock, "Woah okay where did that come from?" He put a hand on the red paladins shoulder.
Keith didn't look back at him, "Nothing." He had said softly, "Let's just get to bed like the others."
Lance now sighed. He guessed Keith must have been cold many times, considering most of his foster parents didn't really care about him. 'I could ask him.' Lance thought before chuckling darkly. Who was he kidding. Keith would never say another word to him. Why would he? He had fucked Keith over so bad… It was a wonder how Keith didn't blow up with rage every time he spoke to Lance..
It had been over a year since they were became team Voltron. Keith came up to Lance while he was away from the group. He looked so scared, "Can we talk?"
Lance looked at him confused, "Of course we can." Over the past year Hunk and Pidge had gotten close so Lance and Keith bonded and became close as well. Practically brothers. Or at least, that's what Lance thought.
"Can we go to my room?" Keith had asked, embarrassed. He looked at his feet and his cheeks were such a pretty shade of red that it put his lion to shame.
"Yeah?" Lance grabbed his hand, "You don't look so good. It must really be bothering you." He began to walk towards Keith's room, but failed to notice the look the red paladin was giving him.
Once they had gotten to Keiths room, Keith had locked the door. He looked like he was going to explode.
"Keith, buddy." Lance had said, worriedly. He put a hand on his shoulder, "Sit down. You don't look well."
"I love you!" Keith practically yelled. He then immediately put a hand over his mouth, eyes wide with embarrassment and fear.
Lances own eyes had widened with disbelief and shock. Both the boys were silent for what seemed like several dobashes. The silence was deafening. Keith's eyes threatened to spill tears and Lance couldn't hear anything over the sound of his heart beating so loud. Finally Lance gathered the courage to speak, "Keith." He started, "I'm straight." He had breathed out heavily, not knowing how else to say it.
Keith stared at him for a tick before looking to the floor, "Oh." Was all he said before running out of his room.
'And you didn't go after him!' Lance mentally smacked himself in the head. 'I was 18 and stupid!' He tried to remind himself. He wasn't too far from where Keith was now. He felt warm tears sting his eyes, "Why did I underestimate my love for you?" Lance cried out softly before cupping his hand over his mouth. He kept his face to the ground, hoping nobody heard him. 'You guys talked it out. You remained friends.' Lance reminded himself painfully.
Lance was in the kitchen, thinking to himself. It had been half a year since Keith had admitted his feelings for Lance. Lance and Keith's bond hadn't been broken in the slightest but Lance could sometime feel Keith's tension around him. Just like now… Lance turned around to see an awkward, tired Keith stumble into the kitchen.
He had looked up at Lance and instantly looked to the floor, "I'll leave." He mumbled.
"Wait." Lance hopped off his chair and walked over to the tired boy, "Nightmare?" He asked.
Keith looked at him with tired and scared eyes. Tears began to form in his purple eyes and Lance-acting on instinct-pulled him into a tight hug. Lance closed his eyes, "You're gonna be okay." He whispered.
Keith began to cry softly. He said a bunch of stuff but most of it was so slurred that Lance couldn't make out a lot of the words, "Don't leave me!" Lance could hear him sob.
Lance kissed his head and panicked slightly at the thought of what he did.
Keith's sobbing had eased and he looked up at Lance with tired, scared eyes.
Lance gave him a small smile, "Let's go to my room. If you have another nightmare you can just wake me up?"
Keith nodded in approval and since that night Lance and Keith slept together 70% of the time.
Lance shook his head angrilly. He knew he had began developing feelings for Keith around that time, "Why didn't you just admit it, dumbass?!" He cursed at himself, clenching his hands. The red, red roses thorns pricked his hand. He winced and let go of the rose. His eyes widened in a panic and he quickly picked it up before it could fall to the ground.
"I think I like him." Lance had told Hunk and Pidge. He had been going on this for half a year.
"Mhm." Pidge said, working on her computer. She blew her bangs out of her hair, in an annoyed manner. Her hair had gotten longer within the two years they got in space. She didn't like it and one time she even let Allura cut it. Since then, she just let it grow because long hair was better than that disaster.
"Just tell him." Hunk had said, working beside Pidge.
Lance sighed, "I can't do that Hunk. It's been like-a year! Since he came out to me! What if his feelings have changed! O-or he thinks I'm just playing him! Or he doesn't believe me! OR-"
"Lance." Pidge had cut in. She looked up from her computer to give him an annoyed stare, "You two have been cuddling every night for at least the past three months." She adjusted her glasses, "I think it's safe to say he likes you still."
Lance had sighed, "You're right. I have to at least try or I'll never know."
He stretched to go tell Keith his feelings before Alluras voice on the speaker said, "Everyone to the bridge now!"
Hunk and Pidge had looked up in a panic and the Garrison Trio ran to the bridge. Everyone else was already there. Keith was in his Blade of Marmora outfit. It wasn't much of a surprise to Lance, Keith always went on about how much he loved training with the blades. But the looks on everyone's faces…
"What happened?" Hunk asked worriedly. He could sense that something was wrong too.
Shiro took a deep breath, "Keith…"
Lance felt his heart pounding as he turned to the boy-or well… Young man. Keith was 20 now.
Keith looked right back at Lance then the others, "I'm going to join the Blades. For a while."
Lance felt chills go down his spine and he saw Pidge and Hunk look at him out of the corner of his eye.
Keith kept going, "There's too many paladins and not enough lions. I'll be better with them anyways."
Lance had felt his throat go dry. 'Too many paladins.. Not enough lions..' Lance and Keith had that discussion just last week!
"Keith." Lance said gently. All eyes were on the two. Everyone knew the tension the two held for each other. Everyone but the two themselves.
Keith had looked at him, "Yes Lance?"
Lance mentally slapped himself. He couldn't do it. He couldn't force Keith to stay here after it took him too long to realize. If it was meant to be, he would tell Keith when he got back. Lance broke out into a big grin, "Make sure you find someone to cuddle with you at night. I can't afford you having nightmares while I'm not around!" He wrapped his arms around Keith, making him blush.
"I shouldn't have taken that precious time for granted." Lance clenched his teeth. He really hated the feeling of his hot tears against the gusts of freezing cold air. His heart ached. And he knew nothing he did could ever make Keith his. He looked up and saw Keith. A smile tugged at his lips but the pain just weighed it down even more. He began to walk a little faster.
Two years. It had been two years without Keith. Yeah, the paladins heard from him and he visited with Kolivan. But he was never home.
But then one day while Lance was talking with Allura, Keith came onto the screen.
Lances jaw dropped at the sight. He was hot before but now. Now he was drop dead stunning.
"I'm coming home." He told the the team. He smiled, "And I have some news too."
Lance could barely breathe. He couldn't wait to see Keith. And tell him, that after these two years his feeling hadn't changed.
When Keith's ship arrived, Lance was the first to get there. Keith jumped out of the ship.
"Keith!" Lance could barely contain his joy and he ran at Keith full speed. He jumped at him and poor Keith fell over, holding him. Lance had tears of joy, leaking out of his eyes. He buried his face into Keith's chest, "I'm so glad you're home." He whispered.
Keith wrapped his arms around Lance, smiling so purely.
There was a cough from the ship. A young Galra with dark purple hair and black eyes jumped out. He smiled, but Lance could tell it was forced, "I'm guessing this is the Lance you speak so fondly of?" He sounded almost like he was accusing Keith of something.
Lance had felt himself getting pushed off. He rubbed his tears away as Keith stood up. He got up too, "Who is this?" He said darker than he meant to.
Keith grabbed the Galras hand, "This is Paxton." Keith had a blush form on his cheeks, "He's my boyfriend."
Lance felt his world crumble.
Lance sat on the bench, "I know I should have told you sooner. Don't remind me." He threw his head back, "I was most scared to admit my feelings… Yeah I know it's a shitty excuse but it's the best one I got." He closed his eyes, "I never liked Paxton you know. Not just cause he was your boyfriend but he seemed like a dick." Lance felt the cold wind on his bare neck and he snuggled back into the warmth of his scarf, "I'm starting to see why you hate winter…" He whispered.
"Can we talk?" Lance had asked, walking into Keith's room.
Keith looked up from making his bed, "Forgot how to knock while I was gone?"
Lance rolled his eyes, "Yeah whatever. I've seen every bit of you anyways. But seriously. We need to talk." He had felt the déjà vu from three years ago. Except now it was his turn to get shot down. Lance knew that there was probably no chance Keith would leave Box-ton or whatever his name was for him. But he had to try.
Lance had squeezed his eyes shut, "I love you!" He practically yelled.
Silence.
Once again.
"You can't fucking say that…" Keith whispered deadly.
Lance had opened his eyes, "Wh-what?"
"YOU CAN'T FUCKING SAY THAT!" Keith repeated, slamming his fist into the wall beside him, "Do you even KNOW how long I liked-no-how long I FUCKING LOVED YOU?! HOW MUCH I STILL LOVE YOU!?" Tears burned into his eyes.
Lance had taken a step back. He expected a negative reaction but… But this…
Keith wasn't done, "I loved you before I told you!" He yelled at Lance, "I wanted you so bad! I-I thought if I asked there was a possibility but the moment you said no I LET THAT POSSIBILITY GO!" He roared, "How DARE you say you have feelings for me, once I finally moved on and found someone else?! You had three years Lance! THREE YEARS!"
"Keith…" Was all Lance managed to say.
"GET OUT!" Keith screamed.
Without hesitation Lance ran.
'Spent a lifetime of holding on… Just to let go.' Lance thought sadly. He shook his head. Keith was here now. He had to speak to Keith, "I um…" He felt tears sting his eyes, "I know I say this everytime I see you but… I just wanted to say I'm sorry Keith. I'm sorry for doubting my feelings.. Making you feel like you had to choose bet-between me and Box-ton." He felt a sob coming on. He waited for Keith to correct him on his ex boyfriends name but it never came. Lance began to cry.
After Keith's outburst, they didn't speak. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. They couldn't form Voltron either. Allura had tried everything but she couldn't get the once-inseparable paladins to make up.
Then Kolivan came for a mission. He told them that Earth was the next target of the Galra Empire and Voltron had to be there to stop them.
Lance had avoided Keith and Box-ton at all costs. But he could only avoid two people so much.
"Lance." The Galra walked up to him as Kolivan was speaking to the princess.
Lance stiffened, "Yes Box-ton?" He said quietly
"It's Paxton." He grumbled. He took out his knife, "If you break Keith's heart again…" He pressed it against Lances neck, making Lance fear for his life for the first time in a while. "I will not hesitate to go against the blades to kill you." He finished. He put his knife away. He then went to Kolivan and followed him onto his ship.
As Lance went to join the paladins Keith spoke from the doorway, "Sorry. Guess Galras don't take breakups well."
Lance stared at the paladin he loved, "You mean…"
"I can't afford to have any feelings for anyone if we're going to save Earth." He walked out of the room.
It didn't take too long to get to Earth since they could wormhole with the castle. By the time they got there however. The Galra Empire was already attacking.
The paladins immediately jumped into action. Everything went as planned until Sendaks ship shot the blue lion down into the Earth.
"LANCE!" Everyone screamed.
Lance had been knocked unconscious when the lion hit the ground.
Keith felt panic rise in him and he went down to rescue him. He took out every Galra ship on his way down and when he finally reached the blue lion he was devastated to find she had shut down. Making sure it was safe, Keith drew his bayard and ran out of the red lion. He went into the blue lion and he felt his heart break.
"Lance?' He breathed carefully. He checked his pulse and let out a relieved sigh. He was alive.
"Get him out of there!" Allura said over the comms, "They're coming after you!"
Keith picked up Lance and ran out of the lion. His feet pounded against the dirt and he ran into red.. But a Galra soldier had stopped his path. Keith drew his sword as did the Galra. They began to violently sword fight. It was the first time ever Keith fought to kill. The Galra soldier ended up shoving his sword into Keith's left leg. Keith screamed and fell to the ground, his sword clattering away from him.
Lance had slowly started gaining consciousness at the time.
The Galra smirked, "I think I'll be nice and let you live.."
Keith glared at him. There was a catch. There had to be.
The Galra looked at Lance, "I'll kill that one. He's already almost dead anyways."
Keith's eyes widened in a panic, "NO!"
The Galra smirked, "Would you rather me kill you?"
Keith closed his eyes. This bastard was going to make him beg for death.
"No? Then I'm killing this one."
Keith's eyes shot open, "Kill me!" He growled, "Leave him alone."
Lance began to stir as the Galra walked over to Keith. He had to stop it. He heard what was going on. He grabbed his bayard. His vision was blurry but he had to try and save Keith. He blinked and his vision cleared. But he wished it didn't.
Keith cried out with such a pain Lance knew it would haunt his nightmares forever. The Galra had shoved his sword into Keith's chest and took it out immediately, letting the blood run free. He smirked and left the scene.
Lance ran over to Keith and picked him up the best he could without letting the blood go everywhere. He carefully carried Keith to the red lion. Lance held him as he sat in the pilot's seat, trying to pilot the red lion while trying to stop Keith's terrible bleeding.
Keith coughed up blood and Lance felt tears run down his face, "Don't worry Keith! We'll get you to the castle and then the cryo-pod can fix you right up-"
"Shush…" Keith said gently, "I love you." He murmured, closing his eyes, "Ha-have since the G-Garrison…" He coughed up more blood.
"Keith…" Lance cried, " I… I love you too. I remember the bonding moment. Please live! I-I want to have more bonding moments!"
"Kiss me?" Keith asked gently.
Lance felt slightly disgusted by the blood but did it anyways. It wasn't the greatest kiss but it was with Keith.. And that made it worth it.
"K-Keith…" Lance hiccuped, "I want to have more night cuddles with you.. More hugs with you… More everything. I want my future with you." He looked down and the limp boy in his arms, "Keith?" Lance whispered, "KEITH!"
The wind blew against Lances hair and he sighed, "You know… Your screams do still haunt my nightmares. It's crap that I have to live with that and you don't." He looked at the stone that read, 'Keith Kogane' and tears blurred his vision once more, "It's crap that I have to live and you can't!" He screamed. He began to cry uncontrollably. He put the rose on the bench. It had only been a month and he missed Keith so much. If he just admitted his feelings sooner than Keith would have never gone with the blades and met that stupid Galra bastard. They would have been able to form Voltron and Lance wouldn't have gotten separated and Keith wouldn't have gone after him. He could still taste Keith's blood on his lips from their first kiss. Could still feel Keith's shaking body as Lance tried to comfort him from a nightmare when they were teenagers. Still see Keith's beautiful eyes burning into his when he was feeling passionate about something. Hear Keith's comforting words and singing whenever Lance was missing home. Smell Keith's scent whenever they were laying in bed together… He finally got his sobs under control and he put the red, red rose down on the grave, "Hope you still like them." He whispered, "I have to go now. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay buddy?" He put his hands in his pockets, not even trying to stop his tears now. As he left his best friend he said gently, "I guess I'll spend another lifetime looking for a new hope…"
*Authors Note*
SO this is my first fanfic I finished! Even if it is a oneshot :l This fanfic was inspired by the song "A New Hope" By Broken Iris. I love this song so much and every time I listen to it all I could see is this. But yeah I used quite a bit of their lines in here so... If you haven't listened to it, please do. I hope everyone enjoyed! If you have the time please leave a review it means a lot to me! Thank you!