Heartbroken Chapter 1
I couldn't stand it anymore. My heart had been broken enough times! This time I'm going to seriously do something about it to make Edward feel the pain that I feel. How dare he leave me again, after all we have been through and after all the promise's he told me.
FLASH BACK!
"Edward, I don't think I can handle this anymore. If you leave again I don't know what I would really do to myself. The first time you left, I wasn't even myself for 3 months! Do you know how much you hurt me! I hurt Charlie and everyone in town by acting like a psycho path and sit in my room everyday not talking to anyone! 3 months Edward! I was like that for 3 months!" I fumed at him. I really was trying not to get angry because he was here with me now. But still, he would never know how much damage he had done to me. It was like being eaten alive and thrown back up because you weren't good enough. I looked up at Edward, he sat there not looking at me but from what I could see, he felt really bad about hurting me so much. It was like torture in his eyes.
"Bella…" he whispered "I won't leave you again, ever, I promise! You don't know how bad I feel because I hurt you. I'm the one that's supposed to protect you from getting hurt, but, instead I hurt you myself. Sometimes I feel so bad, I feel like I'm going to do something stupid and go to the Volturi or something again!
He said that all in a rush and a few times his voiced cracked. I looked strait into his eyes in shock at his last words. Edward noticed and quickly added, "But I promise I won't! EVER! "He exclaimed. I could see real pain in his eyes. I have brought so much pain and trouble into the Cullen family, I felt so bad. They suffered all these problems because of ME! I suddenly thought that if I had never met Edward I would be at home right now with Charlie, living a normal life. I decided I could trust him with my heart again and whispered in his ear. "Okay, I trust you."
END OF FLASH BACK!
I sat there in my room sobbing and crying my eyes out until I couldn't even see properly out of them anymore. I was suddenly remembering all the times I had with Edward. The good times like, the first time he talked to me in Biology class, our first date at the restaurant where he told me the truth about him and his family, in the meadow where our first kiss happened. Then, there were the bad times, James trying to kill me, Victoria trying to seek her revenge of her dead mate, Him leaving me for the first time ever, saying that he didn't want me anymore.
FLASHBACK
"You … don't… want… me…?"
"No." With that he planted one last kiss on my lips before he turned and walked right out of my sight and my life.
END OF FLASH BACK
The memory of that brought shivers down my back, I didn't even want to think about the bad times we have had anymore. I felt like I was going insane, curled into a ball under my bed sheets lying on the side where Edward should have been with me at this second. I couldn't help myself. I felt the tears swelling inside of me, until I burst. I couldn't stop myself from crying. I could tell that my pillow was almost entirely soaked by my tears. Then I heard a knock at my window, and for a second I thought it was Edward. Silly me I thought to myself Edward will never come back to me, he doesn't love me anymore. To my surprise it was Jacob, out standing on the branch of the tree just in front of my window. "Jacob?" I said in a whisper, my voice was almost gone from all the screaming into my pillow and crying. I got out of bed and collapsed on the floor. I was so tired from crying; I looked at the window again and saw concern and grief in Jacobs's eyes. He felt sad for me; he loved me so much that he would die for me. I being my awful self kept telling him that we were only friends, because I loved Edward, and yet… I still do. I suppressed a heavy sigh and got up slowly until I reached the window and opened the latch with all the strength I could until the window was open. I suddenly felt a huge wave of pain and tiredness even more than before. But I felt something warm under me. I looked and saw Jacob catch me; his eyes were still filled with sadness for me and a little bit of anger. I guessed he was angry at Edward for hurting me again. He slowly moved to the bed and set me down gently. He then went to the closet to get me a dry pillow to replace my drenched one. "Bella…" He said softly, looking into my eyes. "Jacob he left me again!" I said in a hush tone and with a hint of distress. "I loved him, and he just left, without saying a word."
"I know Bella, I know"
"He left." I kept repeating myself over and over. I was drifting off into a deep sleep as Jacob comforted me. Just before I was almost out of my conscious I felt Jacob rubbing my back trying to calm me and whispering "It will be okay. I'm here" in a gentle voice until I fell into a deep dark sleep, knowing that Edward wouldn't be coming back.