to a humming bird
make a wish on tears alone
Wally dreams about being able to fly, to touch the stars. He wants to be euphoric and purely blissful like everyone else he sees, the famous trainers on TV like Brendan and May, the regular people strolling the crowded streets of Petalburg, walking and laughing with their best friends, even the taillow and swablu occasionally residing in his backyard, soaring free through the sky...
He wishes he was like that. Normal, without a care in the world. Without having to worry about illnesses that keep coming back, without needing an inhaler with him wherever he goes.
His life is a neverending cycle in which he experiences brief bursts of strength, like when he watches another trainer fall to the ground in defeat, or witnesses his pokémon grow up, change and evolve. These are the times when he feels sure, confident of his power, and knows he has the potential to go farther, do more, become a legend like Brendan and May. This is when he feels love and undying friendship for his pokémon. He scratches gardevoir behind the head or strokes mighteyena's glossy black fur, knowing that they will do anything for him, and that he would give up his life for them in turn.
These are the moments when Wally feels undefeatable.
Battles are the only times when he feels like he can take on the whole world, as he commands his pokémon with utter confidence, trusting only his own skill for once. He needs not depend on his parents anymore; he loves the feeling of independence during pokémon battles, perhaps because it reminds him so much of his own life and how he will never, ever experience this kind of freedom, outside of fighting another trainer. This knowledge is the reason he fights ever so harder, yells orders to his pokémon louder and fiercer, because he knows this feeling will never come anywhere else.
In a way, he is fighting for his freedom.
But this never lasts long, and before he knows it, the feeling of power is abruptly gone, in its place only emptiness and despair. Battles are always accompanied by harsh coughing fits that wrack his whole body and leave him weak and shivering afterward. This is a fact Wally is not so very proud of, and he feels ignominious whenever it happens, causing his opponents to look upon him with pity and disgust, expressions he hates seeing. The wheezing fits used to occur sporadically, but now they plague him more and more often.
Until they begin to come one right after another, so intense and painful they bring him to his knees, shattering his sense of self-reliance and bright optimism.
These are his darker moments, when his usual hope and sanguinity are gone. This is when Wally thinks he has been kidding himself all along; how had he ever thought that he would become a great trainer when he can't get through a single battle without breaking down in coughs? Sometimes the despair overwhelms him, and he wonders if he can do this anymore—keep on going like he has been. What's the point? His parents have already told him, holding back tears, that if he physically strains himself too much, his days will be numbered.
Wally envies the trainers who can fight pokémon battles easily, with carefree hearts and minds.
He wishes he has life that easy.
Sometimes, when no one's around, he throws away his confident facade and breaks down in tears. This is how he has to go on, making wishes on the remains of his brief bursts of strength. Making wishes on tears alone, as the tear drops fall to the ground like rain, unrelenting.
But he never dreads the battles to come, because they are his life. And they give him hope.
After the storms of despair, such as losing another battle or facing a lecture from his parents for staying outside too long, Wally reaches toward the light. Like a humming bird, he spreads his broken wings, stretching them out towards the sunlight, because he will never lose hope.
He trains. He pushes himself and his pokémon harder till he can hardly breathe and his body is shaking all over from fatigue, but his lips curve upward in the makings of a smile as he doubles over to catch his breath.
Because he is taking off, flying, soaring through the wide blue sky and flapping his fragile little wings. Counting the breaths before his wings give out on him, as they always do, and he plummets to the ground once again.
notes:
to me, Wally is a very hopeful character. I once played a beautiful piano piece called to a humming bird, and that's where I got the title. thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed it, and please review! feedback is always appreciated :)
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yaaa Pokémon X and Y comes out in twelve days!