Ash: Okay this was just a random one-shot me and my best friend were discussing, so here!

Yami: Disclaimer- We don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters. However we own ourselves, and the mass chaos we create.

Coffee

(Yami's P.O.V.)

What started off as a normal morning in The World That Never Was, soon turned into one of mass chaos due to a cup of coffee. You're probably wondering what I'm talking about aren't you? Well then, I'll explain it. You see, my sister and I had this theory that the only reason Saix was grumpy was because he never had a morning cup of coffee. Strange theory, but we found out it was true soon after Ash and me moved in with Organization XIII. Here's what happened…

I had just woken up from a fitful night's sleep and was heading down to the kitchen when I ran into Xemnas, literally.

"Dude," I exclaimed from my position on the ground. He sat in front of me holding a tray of Starbucks coffee. "What's with the coffee?"

"You should watch where you're going," he sniffed haughtily. "As for the coffee, your friend asked me to pick it up for her."

I raised my eyebrow at him. Xemnas never did anything the other members asked, let alone either of us. But judging from the bruise on his cheek, he tried to wake Ash up without offering her coffee. I chuckled and shook my head as I rose.

"What is so funny," the Superior asked. He was now standing as well, only having had a bit more difficulty due to the coffee. We began our decent down to the kitchen.

"You tried to wake Ash up didn't you," I asked, stifling the chuckles that still fought to rise.

"What makes you say that?"

"Dude, you got a bruise on your cheek. Ash is violent beyond belief if she doesn't have her morning cup of coffee."

"She's not the only one," Xemnas muttered. My ears perked at these words, but I said nothing. We finally made it to the kitchen only to find that it was occupied by none other than the Luna Diviner. His head was on the counter, his hair sprawled out.

"What's up with you," I asked walking over to him. Nothing. "Hello?"

Still nothing. This meant I had to do drastic measures. I raised my hand to poke him when…

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Xemnas said in a sing-song-y voice. Ignoring him, I poked Saix in the head.

SNARL!

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I screamed. He had sat up with such speed and ferocity that it was scary. He glared hotly at me after I had finished screaming, before slamming his head back on the counter. I blinked in confusion and leaned closer, careful not to touch him.

"You okay," I asked. He said something, but it was muffled due to the fact he was face planted on the counter. I looked at Xemnas. "What'd he say?"

"Probably something about giving him coffee," number one responded. He then looked down at the cups in his hand.

"Don't even think about it," I insisted. "If you think he's scary then you haven't seen Ash."

"Actually I have. Remember? She punched me." He turned to Saix and waved a cup of coffee over his head. The Luna Diviner shot straight up and snatched the cup and tray from his leader's hands and fled the room.

"Dude, you have no idea what you've done," I told him, but he just grinned wickedly.

"Cooooooffffffffeeeeeeeee," I heard Ash groan as she shuffled into the kitchen five minutes later. Not good. "Coooooofffffffffffeeeeeeeeeee! Where's my coffee? I can smell it."

"Now Ash," I started. She looked at me half-dazed, her glasses no where in sight. Double not good! When she wasn't wearing her glasses she had a tendency to do more butt whooping, as strange as it sounds. "There were…ummm…some …um…complications in getting your coffee."

Glare. I felt shivers shoot up my spine. My friend was extremely scary when she didn't have her coffee. I shot Xemnas a look of pure hatred, which he returned with a cruel grin. Saix chose that moment to walk back in the room, with three empty coffee cups. He looked a lot calmer. He threw the empty cups away, but held the fourth in his hand.

"Where's my coffee?"

Ash's growl caused me to turn and stare at her frightful expression. There was only one thing to do in order to survive this.

"Saix stole it."

"WHAT?!?"

Furious brown eyes turned on the confused diviner holding that last cup. Her nostrils flared and she lunged at him shrieking, "You stole my coffee!"

Xemnas stared wide-eyed as both Saix and Ash disappeared in a cloud of dust.

"What in the world," he finally asked.

"I warned you," I said.

We flinched as she pulled his hair and he bit her arm. With a howl she punched him roughly in the gut. It was his turn to pull her hair. Saix howled like a dog as Ash dragged her short fingernails down the side of his face. And with a cat-like yowl, she jumped on his back, hooking her arm under his chin and repeatedly pounding his head with the side of her hand.

"What's with all the noise," Demyx asked as he, Marluxia, Luxord, Axel, and Roxas stumbled into the kitchen. The two continued to howl in scream, being extra careful not to spill the coffee.

"Is that Saix," Luxord asked, looking at the two fighting over the last cup of coffee. "Fighting for a cup of coffee?"

"It is." The two paused a moment to set the cup down and glare at everyone in the kitchen, snarling, "Touch the cup and you die!"

They began brawling again. Saix landed a good punch on her jaw, but soon found himself once more in a head lock only this time Ash was biting his pointed ear. Saix grabbed her and flung her off his back before jumping her and landing another good punch in the gut.

"I feel sorry for your friend," Axel piped up. I gave him a confused look. "Saix will kill anybody who gets in his way of coffee."

I began laughing and laughing hard. Everyone, except Saix and Ash, looked at me strangely.

"Why are you laughing like that," Marluxia asked.

"I'm more worried about Saix," I guffawed. "As I tried to warn Xemnas when he gave Saix the chance to steal her coffee, if you think moon-boy is scary than you haven't seen my coffee-addicted-psycho friend when she hasn't had her morning cup."

The brawling suddenly stopped. The sight before us was a shocker to the organization members.

"You let him steal my coffee," Ash shrieked at Xemnas, pointing an accusing finger as she held the bloody corpse that was Saix in her other hand by his collar. Horror lit the faces of the present members. Without further provocation, Ash released Saix and lunged for Xemnas. Thus the brawling began again. Only this time Ash stopped to drink her coffee before going back to beating the Superior to a pulp.

I turned to the non-bloody members in the room and said, "Saix may be grumpy without his coffee, but Ash is a serial killer if she doesn't get her coffee."

The End

Ash: Okay, that was a bit lame.

Yami: But funny. You seriously are scary when you don't have your coffee.

Ash: Heh heh. Well anyways, Rand R peoples, but flames will be ignored.

Yami: Constructive criticism is allowed.

Ash: Oh and this is just the first in a series of co-lab one-shots Yami and I will be doing. Together they will be known as "Chaos in The World That Never Was". There will be no real order unless said otherwise.