Finding My True Self

A Nanako Dojima Fanfiction

By Nagone

Summary: Even I've got to face my True Self.

Rated: T+

Genre: Action

Author's Note: This was original made for tumblr user Junesbiggestfan, who roleplays Nanako in a group I'm a part of. I took a prompt and decided to give Nanako her own persona, and I really liked the outcome. This is an edit version with a bit more detail and edits. I hope you enjoy.

The room grew hot, hotter than anything Nanako had ever felt. She felt as if her skin would melt from her body, like an ice cream cone left to decay in the sun, and she grew scared, heart beating quickly in her chest. "H-Help..." she whimpered, wrapping her arms about herself, shuddering despite the temperature.

Soon, the heat turned scalding, and Nanako cried out, falling to her knees. Fear crept into her heart, and she felt herself giving, giving up.

Heh, heh, heh...

She closed her eyes, murmuring her father's name over and over, trying to calm herself, but she couldn't. She simply couldn't.

Na…na…na…na….ko… A voice called out to her, rising up from the edge of the darkness that was growing around the fringe of her vision.

She clapped her hands over her ears and shut her eyes tight, and began to hum the Junes jingle, mouthing the words silently. "Everything is great at your…Junes…" She repeated it like a prayer.

Suddenly, the burning stopped. Nanako sighed, body shuddering with a sudden bout of exhaustion. Cautiously, she chanced a glance and nearly felt her heart stop.

I'm so weak… I can't do anything without Daddy or Big Bro, but they abandon me all the time, and so I pretend I'm strong, but I'm just a lonely little girl!

The voice chuckled, materializing before Nanako in an exact copy, even in pitch and timber of voice. Brown hair, brown eyes, short stature: it truly was Nanako Dojima, in the flesh. Yet her opposite seemed… different. Far darker, far more sinister, lacking the sweet disposition of Nanako.

Nanako jerked backwards, falling to her bottom and gasping, clearly shocked. "You see," the duplicate began, "I'm just a pathetic girl. It's been that way ever since I killed Mommy, after all. If I hadn't-"

"Stop it!" Nanako yelled. Tears rolled down her cheek, and her upper lip tasted of salt and snot. She couldn't stomach her mom being mentioned in such a manner. Even in death, she was worth more than that.

"Why stop, Nanako? We both know the truth. You're a greedy girl, and your loneliness only makes it worse. You're so lonely that you'd do anything, even-"

"Shut up!" Nanako shouted. Her stomach flipped over. She wasn't like that, wasn't lonely at all. She had her father and Yu's letters, Chie and Yukiko, Yosuke's antics and Naoto's caring prescence. She had everything a girl needed: she was happy "You can't be me! I'm a good person! You're not me!"

I knew you'd say that.

The figure suddenly jerked, as if shot, contorting and twisting within the seemingly human shell until it shattered into fractals, flying apart.

"I am your True Self," it said as it pieced itself back together. "I am a reflection of your soul's true intent, the side of you that no one sees, but that we both know…"

Nanako was speechless when it reformed.

"…is there!"

Before her was a contorted figure, body filled with static like a television. A large, pure white tongue extended from where its navel should have been, and its place of its head was a scale, the sides bobbing back and forth between perfect balance and asymmetry. A multitude of arms extended from its six breasted torso, although it bore two legs. A swath of torn yellow cloth covered its more revealing aspects. It smelled of danger, and from its looming presence, was danger incarnate.

"Now I'll become the real Nanako!" it cackled, static buzzing loudly around Nanako. "Stand and die, whelp!"A burst of light shot up near Nanako and she rolled away, tumbling shakily to her feet.

"Oh no," she whispered. "What do I do?" Yet she had little time to pause.

Lub-dub. Lub-dub.

Nanako's heart raced, practically trying to pound its way out of her rib cage.

Nanako. The voice was different. Clearer, kinder.

Lub-dub. Lub-dub, lub-dub.

She ran away from more beams of light, tumbling and stumbling. The creature's tongue lashed out, spitting bursts of light at her in a spray. One flew past Nanako's hair, sheering a few locks, burning them before they even landed.

Nanako, listen. The same voice, warm as butter and comforting. Yet still frightening, still foreign.

"No!" she cried. She stumbled but regained her foot as she ran faster. "No! No, no, no, no!"

NANAKO!

Nanako toppled to the ground, scrapping her cheek and arms. Her True Self drew closer, the cackling more static than laughter now. Nanako, reach inside yourself and form a weapon on your own design. Fight!

"I can't," Nanako whispered. More tears rolled down her cheek.

You can! the voice said, encouraging her.

"No…" Nanako said. The ground seemed so inviting. If she just lay down, if she simply gave in…

Nanako, you must!

Suddenly Nanako's fear fled her, and she felt her chest burn with a new feeling. She placed a hand on it and felt something tangible fall into it. Slowly, she pulled, and from her heart came a long, thin, wand, decorated with a star on the end. She coughed hard as it left her chest and she blinked, half-amused, half-terrified.

Fight! Nanako, fight!

At the voice's command, Nanako rose up, filled with unearthly vigor. She launched herself forward, running hard and swung at the beast. Stars erupted from the wand, hitting the creature in bursts of bright pink light. It writhed, and after a spree of hits, collapsed, unable to move.

Nanako dared not relent. She slid back, dug in, and launched herself at the beast again, wand spitting magical stars at her foe. "You may look like me, but I will never let you be me!" With a roar, she shot one last critical shot, and the creature collapsed, truly defeated. Nanako exhaled, suddenly exhausted.

"…ko…"

Nanako looked up, blinking slowly.

"Na…na…ko," it managed. Static crept up its form once more.

"You… you're a part of me… aren't you?" she whispered. The being managed something of a nod. "I'm sorry I rejected you," she said. "I just… I hate being sad and alone. It hurts… but I don't have to hurt you in return. I'm so sorry." She walked forward, kneeling next to the being.

The creature dissolved back into a duplicate of Nanako, yellowed as if aged. Static still burst across the surface of the being sporadically. "Please… claim me. Don't make us fight again…"

"I…" Nanako paused. "I do." She placed a hand gently on the shimmering figure, nodding resolute.

"Thank you," the duplicate said, a soft chuckle echoing in the air.

And then the true magic happened.

A being with skin as purple as a lavender bloom and hair, dark as pitch, coiffed into a sharp, angled bob, erupted from her True Self's alter form, bursting forth like a blossom. It hovered before her, immaculate white wings flapping. A garment of bright yellow cloth wrapped around its body, covering shapely breasts and revealing a leg. A pair of yellow heels matched the outfit.

"Thou art I… and I art thou. Nanako… wield me and together, we shall be the Justice needed in this world," the being said. "For I am Nemhain, Bringer of the Truth. The very Truth that is within you."

Nanako nodded, spirit rising, flaring with strength. "You're me," she whispered as Nemhain approached her, extending a yellow-gloved arm towards her. Nanako placed her sweating palm in Nemhain and exhaled. "I will be your wielder. You are a part of me, after all."

Nemhain smiled, and in a burst of cool, comforting light, disappeared into Nanako's chest, resting inside of her heart.

I will always be a part of you.