I own nothing although I would love to keep the Merry Men. I'm going to try to post a new one every week day. I don't plan to need any warnings but since I can't predict it, I'll put them (if needed) at the start of every post. It's mostly being done as emails between Stephanie and her Merry Man of the day. Thanks for reading.

Office Hijinks II – Chapter 1

My name is Stephanie Plum and I work for Rangeman Security doing searches in a cube. I'm 5'7", 125 lbs (depending on the Tasty Pastry and Pinos), with blue eyes and curly brown hair. I used to bounce back and forth with my on / off boyfriend, Joe Morelli but we ended it with a calm talk about a year ago when I started full time at Rangeman. The other man in my life is my boss who is currently out of town on a mission. His name is Ricardo Carlos Manoso a.k.a. Ranger. He is 6', 200 lbs of muscle covered by yummy mocha latte skin with long black hair. He has been gone for three months now. Before he left we were getting closer (talking, not physical). Well, my job is kinda boring while waiting for searches to run so I decided today that I'm going to make up scenarios for choose your own adventures for the guys and do it over email. I decide to start with Hal. I pull up outlook and address the email to Hal and ask if he wants to play choose your own adventure and he says yes.

Start Email

Stephanie: Ranger throws a party for all of the Merry Men at an old run down mansion. There is tons of food and alcohol. The DJ is on fire. Everyone is having a blast. You have only had a single beer but suddenly you find yourself feeling very faint. You faint and fall. You wake up and you appear to be in a basement (the guys threw you down there for being a light weight). You look around and see a door in the wall. You approach and knock but nothing, so you open it. You stick your head thru the doorway and see a sunny green meadow even though your watch says ten pm. Do you go thru the doorway?

Hal shakes his head and sighs: Yes, I'll go thru. You better not get me in trouble.

Stephanie: Lighten up Hal. So you go thru the door and it shuts behind you. You look around and see in the distance a castle to the left and a hill to the right. Which way?

Hal: I'll go to the hill. I need a weapon before exploring a castle. Duh!

Stephanie: I'm the game mistress. You get a weapon when I give you one.

Hal: Fine. Go ahead oh mighty game mistress.

Stephanie: Thank you. You walk to the top of the hill and find a stick. The stick is six feet long and three inches around. It is strong and firm. You see a village in the distance that appears peaceful. The castle to the left appears run down and slightly creepy. What do you do?

Hal: A freaking staff, seriously?! _ A Stick! Fine, ok. I'm going to the village and try to find a freaking sword or something.

Stephanie: Be good or this stops! So you double time it to the village and there are wood goblins everywhere. They quickly over power you with your stick. What's left of you enjoys a lovely funeral at the top of the hill. By the way, looks are deceiving and the castle had a ton of weapons. The End!

End Email

Stephanie hears a roar and stands up to see Hal, standing red faced, yelling "You killed me with wood goblins. What the hell?"

The guys were all frozen and turned all eyes to Tank as he came out and asked what was wrong. Hal said nothing and left for the gym. Tank looked at Steph and held eye contact for a second than returned to his office as work resumed. Steph sat down smiling.