...OK. Heads-up, adventurous readers. This is probably something in the vein of one of the angstier things I've written, largely because of the subject matter. I'll make sure to include just how this one-shot came to be in my ending Author's Note, so stick around for that if you want a bit of backstory for this. So, until that ending note, I hope you guys that give this a read enjoy it. =) (WARNING: This could possibly be triggering for some due to the subject matter...said subject matter being a domestic abuse survivor having flashbacks to and talking about her past abuse.)
(Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers used or mentioned in this fic. They are the properties of themselves, TNA Impact/Impact Wrestling, and the other promotions they wrestle for (in the cases of Jade and Marti Bell (the latter of the two getting a mention). I only own the ideas that went into this.)
(Also, I'd like to take the time to thank one of my FF besties in MistressDaisy94, as she helped me out a lot with getting my ideas set straight for this and with coming up with a good title. (There's actually a meaning behind the title, as the way Jade/Stephanie paints her nails is that she paints her left ring finger nail purple as a way of signifying that she's a survivor of domestic abuse.) If you're reading this, MistressDaisy94, I hope you enjoy it. *makes hearts*)
Sitting on one of the couches in the hotel room she shared with her girlfriend and fellow TNA Knockout, Gail Kim, Stephanie Bell, better known to the wrestling world as Mia Yim and now Jade, had just finished painting her nails and was letting them dry as she let the near silence of the room, save for the TV that was playing some show she wasn't really paying any attention to, surround her. She was sitting in wait for Gail to come back because the older Korean was going to accompany her to an interview that she had that afternoon. Stephanie was pretty much all ready to go, she just had to touch up her nails; and, looking over her newly painted nails as she blew on them to help dry the paint, she let her gaze stay fixated on the single purple nail on the ring finger of her left hand. Looking at the dried purple polish, Stephanie couldn't help but think 'And just think. If it wasn't for my talk with Gail, I probably wouldn't even be going through with this interview today' as she let her thoughts drift off to the week that helped push her towards talking about the demons that haunted some of the darker days of her life.
Two Weeks Before
Letting out a contented sigh as she flopped on her back onto the bed next to her girlfriend, Gail said "Oh, man. I never knew a hot shower could feel so good."
Laughing as she looked over at the older woman, Stephanie said "You're probably only saying that because you were put through the ringer tonight. That was one hell of a match you had against Ashley."
Laughing a bit herself, Gail said "Yeah. Ash can really rock a ring despite not looking like it. You'd never believe that she was actually a member of The Beautiful People", talking about another fellow TNA Knockout in Ashley Lomberger, better known as Madison Rayne.
"So I've seen in the many matches you two have had together," Stephanie said. "Maybe I can try to campaign around to get a match against her some time soon."
"You definitely should, babe," Gail said. A bit of an excited smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, Gail said "I think you and Ash could put on an awesome match together."
"I know we could. We just need the time in the ring to do it," Stephanie grinned.
"Well, now. Someone's sounding pretty proud of herself," Gail said, before lightly tapping Stephanie on her shoulder with her fist.
Flinching at the contact of Gail's fist on her arm, Stephanie quickly covered where she got tapped before meekly asking "Could you...not do that again?"
"Do what? Do this?" Gail innocently asked before repeating what she did again on the same arm, only a bit harder this time.
"Yes, that! Please. Stop it." Stephanie pleaded, crossing her arms across her chest.
Seeing her girlfriend huddled in on herself the way she was, Gail stopped before venturing to ask "Steph? Baby, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, Gail. It's nothing," Stephanie quickly uttered as she moved away from the older woman.
"No, no, you're lying to me about something," Gail said, her tone growing concerned. "Stephanie, what's wrong? Just talk to me."
"It's nothing, Gail! Just drop it, okay?" Stephanie yelled.
"I can't when you seem so scared about something," Gail pried. Putting her hands on the younger woman's shoulders, Gail turned her girlfriend to look at her before saying "Stephanie. Please. Talk to me. Something's wrong with you, and I want to know what it is."
"I can't, Gail. I just can't!" Stephanie turned her head away from Gail's piercing gaze.
"Why?! Why can't you just talk to me?!" Gail yelled, her grip tightening a bit on the younger woman's shoulders as she shook Stephanie a bit. "Stephanie, I want to help, but I can't if you won't talk with me. Please. Just talk to me!"
"For the last time, Gail, I said I can't. So, just leave it be!" Stephanie tearily yelled as she shoved the older Korean away from her as she got out of bed and ran to the door before throwing it open and closing it behind her.
Watching as her girlfriend stormed out, Gail felt utterly flummoxed. She honestly didn't know what could've possibly just gotten into Stephanie. Seeing the younger woman get so freaked out over the taps was something that she had never really seen out of her before. Stephanie could normally take some pretty hard hits in the ring, so to see her have such an adverse reaction to the light punches just seemed so strange. 'Something's wrong with Steph. And, I'm going to figure out what it is,' Gail thought.
...
Hugging her knees to herself as she sat on a bench near the hotel's dining area, Stephanie shook as silent sobs escaped her. What just happened up in her room with Gail...that shouldn't have happened. None of it should've. The hits, the yelling, Gail's prying...none of it should've happened in the first place. 'I just wanted Gail to stop. Why? Why didn't she fucking listen to me?' Stephanie's grip tightened around her legs.
"Stephanie? Oh, thank, God. I found you," Stephanie could hear Gail saying beside her.
"Yeah. You did. You want a prize or something?" Stephanie spat, not daring to meet Gail's gaze at the moment.
"Only if that prize is you telling me just why you were acting so weird up in our room." Feeling the cushion move as Gail sat down, Stephanie listened on as Gail continued talking. "Stephanie, baby. I don't know just what went on with you back in our room. If it's because I hit you, then I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd act so weird about it."
"Yeah. You didn't know. But, when I told you not to, you did it again," Stephanie said.
"Steph. If me hitting you like that was such a big deal, I'm sorry. At any rate, I don't see what the big deal is. It was just a friend tap. I do that with everybody," Gail defended herself.
"Well, did you ever stop to think that not everyone will like them? Huh? Did you ever consider that?!" Stephanie raised her head and looked over to her girlfriend.
"What has gotten into you, Steph?!" Gail yelled. Her tone softening, Gail said "You're acting weird, and I don't know why. If you would just talk to me, maybe I could help you out. Something's wrong with you, and I want to know what it is. But, I can't do that if you don't talk to me."
Hesitating before speaking, Stephanie then meekly got out "But, what if I can't, Gail? God, do I want to talk with you about what's wrong, Gail, I really do. But...it's not easy for me to talk about because I've never really talked this over with anyone before, not even my own parents."
"Well... Why don't I be the first?" Gail moved closer to her girlfriend. "Stephanie. All I want to do is help you, so please don't be afraid to talk to me. I won't push you or anything; I'll just listen."
"You promise?" Stephanie asked.
"You have my word as a former Knockouts Champion," Gail said.
Seeing the honesty in Gail's eyes, Stephanie took a breath in before letting it out, and launching into her story. "OK. Gail, you might find this hard to believe, but...I...don't really take taking hits like your friend taps all that well, as you saw back in the room. And it's because... It's because...it's because I've been hit like that before. Just...not in a friendly way. More in a "I'm going to hurt you and leave reminders" type of way."
Figuring out just what Stephanie was getting at, Gail broke her promise in an instant. "Stephanie... Are you saying that you've been abused in the past?"
Closing her eyes as tight as she could as more tears threatened to escape, all the younger Korean could do was nod her head.
"Oh, Steph, honey." That was all Gail could say before she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend as she felt the younger woman shake in her hold and heard the sobs coming from her. Pulling away, Gail said "How about we go back to our room? You can tell me the rest of your story there if you want."
All Stephanie could do was nod her head as she hiccuped a bit. Letting herself get pulled to her feet as Gail wrapped an arm around her shoulders and took hold of one of her hands, Stephanie walked along in silence with her girlfriend as the couple headed back to her room, where she would tell her tale for the first time ever.
...
Sitting on the bed with Gail beside her, Stephanie continued her story where she left off. "Like you've been able to figure out, I was abused in the past. But, it wasn't by my parents, before you jump to conclusions."
"I know it couldn't have been your folks. They're too cool to ever do something like that to you," Gail shared a quick smile with her girlfriend.
"No, it wasn't. And, I'm sure they'd appreciate the compliment." Stephanie smiled a bit before letting her smile drop. "No, you see, it wasn't by my parents. It...it all happened at the hands of an ex-boyfriend of mine."
"An ex hurt you?" Gail could immediately feel her temper starting to boil at the very thought of someone...anyone hurting someone like her Stephanie.
"Yeah, he did. Honestly, I still don't even know why he did what he did. I mean, as a wrestling couple, you'd think we'd be on the same page with each other. ...But, no. That wasn't the case, not at all," Stephanie shook her head. "Truth be told, it wasn't all that bad at first. It'd just be a light punch here and there, and some yelling, but that was about it. ...Then, after a while...things got really bad."
"How so?" Gail asked, afraid to press the matter.
"Well, my ex was a total guy, so you can just imagine what one of things would be that he'd want from me. I fell into a habit of telling him "No" whenever he'd try anything, but he'd keep trying to fight me on the matter. The more I rejected him, the more it made him upset. ...Then, one night, things...got really bad." Trembling a bit, Stephanie continued. "We...actually got into a really bad fight where I actually ended up getting the upper hand and managed to get him away from me. So, when I saw him leave our room, I felt relieved because I thought he was leaving. ...Then, the next thing I know he just comes running back into our room, and he full-force tackles me, knocking all the wind out of me." At this point, Stephanie was crying as she said "It was awful, Gail! I had never felt so helpless and weak in my life! Even after he was done beating me, the pain from it all just never seemed to go away!"
Tears of her own rolling down her cheeks, Gail said nothing as she just pulled her girlfriend to her and held her in a tight embrace. For as long as she had been known and had been dating the younger woman, Gail never knew that Stephanie had been through such a dark period of her life. It just seemed so wrong, and she felt especially bad that she caused her girlfriend to have a flashback to a time in her life that she had probably been trying her hardest to keep buried. Finally managing to find something to say, Gail said "I'm so sorry, Steph. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. Really, it is," Stephanie said, around a sniffle. Pulling away as she wiped her face, Stephanie said "If anything, I actually feel a bit better now."
"I'm glad about that, Steph." Gail smiled a bit. "Stephanie. I know that something like what you went through can be pretty hard to talk about, but it at least helps if you have someone close to you that you feel you can talk to. And, I'm glad that I could be the one you could talk to."
"I'm glad too, Gail." Stephanie laughed a bit. "It's weird, though. Never have I really thought talking would help. I've just been so used to holding stuff like that in, that talking never really crossed my mind. Guess it just took the right person to really open up to."
"It does. I mean, while I haven't really been through anything like what you've gone through, I've heard more than enough abuse survivor stories that while talking about what happened was pretty hard, it all felt worth it to them in the end. It just makes me feel better that I was able to help you feel a bit better about all of that." Gail planted a light kiss on Stephanie's cheek.
"I can see why. It's just...when it came to talking about my ex, I always made sure to leave out all of the "he'd beat me" stuff. So, to actually talk about it just feels like a huge weight's been lifted off my shoulders." Planting a kiss of her own on Gail's cheek, Stephanie said "Thanks, Gail."
"It's no problem, babe." Gail smiled. "Now, I think it goes without saying, but...I won't tell anyone about this. Your secret is safe with me."
Letting out a bit of a laugh, Stephanie said "Thanks, Gail. I know I've said that already tonight, but...I mean it. I've never really had anyone to talk to about this before, so I'm glad that I could talk to my best girl about it."
"Anything I can do to help my Stephie Bell," Gail grinned.
Laughing a bit at Gail's nickname for her, Stephanie let herself get pulled into a hug from her girlfriend as a smile crossed her face. For the first time ever, she was able to open up about what happened in her past that she had been doing her level best to keep buried. And, now that she finally told someone, she was feeling on cloud nine and on top of the world.
Present Day
Touching her now dry nails, Stephanie was broken from her flashback by the sound of the door to the hotel room opening. Seeing who came in, Stephanie laughed a bit before asking "I'm guessing you're all ready now?"
"Yeah. Sorry if I'm a bit late, Steph. I got a bit held up talking with Marti downstairs," Gail said, walking over to her girlfriend and planting a kiss on the younger woman's forehead. "I didn't keep you waiting too long, did I?"
"No, not really. I needed this alone time anyway. Just trying to psych myself up before my big interview today," Stephanie said. Letting out a somewhat nervous sigh, Stephanie said "I can't believe I'm actually about to do this."
"I know this is probably going to be pretty hard for you, but don't worry. I'll be there for you, if you need the support," Gail rested a hand on Stephanie's shoulder.
"I know. And, I just want to say thanks in advance, Gail." Stephanie smiled. Taking a breath in and out, Stephanie said "OK. I'm ready. Let's go and do this."
"I'm right with you, babe," Gail said as Stephanie stood from the couch, grabbed her phone, and turned off the TV.
Not saying anything, Stephanie smiled as she walked around to join Gail. Taking Gail's right hand in her left hand, Stephanie leaned in and planted a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek as her way of thanking the older woman for being there for her. And for being the first confidant she ever had when it came to talking about some of the darkest days she ever lived.
(*insert backstory for subject matter here* It was around the beginning of August 1 of this year that I had gotten on PWNet to check out wrestling news, and one of the first things that caught my eye was a story about a TNA Knockout talking about the fact that she's a survivor of domestic abuse, said Knockout being Jade (or as she's more well-known as Mia Yim on the indy circuit).)
Now, I will admit. Writing about subject matter such as domestic abuse is something relatively new to me as the heaviest thing I've mostly ever really dabbled in is how depression can affect someone with my main OC Alex being at the subject in that instance, so I feel that I did fairly okay for this to be my first time writing about something like this. I hope that those that gave this a read enjoyed it, and don't forget to R&R please. =)