THANK YOU TO The Purity in Sordidity FOR WINNING THE SL CHALLENGE! Indeed she named the three songs and the random sentence and for that she gets this! Woot! Long live the Creek!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Bah!
"Hey Tweek!"
"Uwah! What?" Tweek had quickly whirled around to face him, jittery as he held his green thermos.
"You wanna go out with me?"
"What?" The blond's face had turned a scarlet red, eyes darting around the people who's stopped and stared at his loud question. Damn, maybe he shouldn't have asked him out in the middle of a crowded hallway.
"You heard me. You wanna be my boyfriend?"
"Uh! Um...ah, ngh!" Tweek's twitching got worse as their little audience leaned in to hear Tweek's answer. His eyes looked panicked, and it seemed that everyone was holding their breath in suspense. Then, finally,
"Uh...o-okay."
A couple of wolf-whistles rang out and a few people even cheered. Most of them, however, descended into a raucous flock of mutterings, to spread the now-latest gossip around the school. Tweek blushed furiously, but Craig nodded in satisfaction.
"Alright. Lemme walk you to class, then."
And Craig had taken the blond by the hand, ignoring his startled squeak, and walked calmly through the parting crowd with his new boyfriend.
Craig sat on the couch in the basement, lazying back with the TV remote in his hand. Some old movie was playing on the television but he didn't care, he wasn't paying the lest attention to that. No, he was staring at the blond on the other end of the couch, the one focused on the television with single-minded intensity, slurping down his third Frappuccino.
Tweek. His 'boyfriend'.
They were in Craig's house, and his parents were gone; every teenager's dream come true. But instead of taking full advantage of it, Craig held off. He stared some more at Tweek, then inched a bit closer. The couch wasn't very long; their legs almost touched; Tweek didn't notice. Craig scooted a bit closer, and held his breath as his hip gently bumped Tweek's, praying for a miracle.
It didn't happen.
"Aughhh!" Tweek jumped a foot in the air, spilling his drink and scrambling halfway off of the couch, hanging onto the arm of it. Craig sighed inwardly, holding up his hands in a gesture of peace. "It's just me, Tweek."
"...ngh, c-can you just...?" Tweek made a shoo-ing motion with his hands. "Y-you're really -ngh- r-really close."
Craig nodded wearily, returning to his earlier spot on the couch and watched Tweek from the corner of his eye as the other sat down again warily. Another failed attempt.
The time came for Tweek to leave and and Craig walked him to the door, opening it for him. Tweek was about to run out when Craig said, like he had for a month now,
"Love you, Tweek."
The coffee-addict paused, hesitated, then blurted out a quick "bye Craig!" before darting outside. The raven closed the door and made his way back to his room, flopping down on his bed.
He didn't think it'd be this hard.
In the two months since he'd asked out Tweek, he hadn't touched him once. Even that one day he'd held his hand as he walked him to class; Tweek had quickly jerked his his own hand away as soon as they'd come into the vicinity of the classroom. And since then Craig hadn't been allowed to touch the twittery blond, not even for a simple hand-hold. Tweek freaked out every time Craig gave him the lightest of touches. But the raven still tried; he'd even tried to kiss him. Three times. The first time, Tweek had backed away so fast he'd smacked his head on the opposite wall. The second time had gone much the same, and the third time he'd caught Tweek so off-guard he'd gotten a punch in the face for his troubles. Craig didn't try again.
He'd known that Tweek didn't like to be touched, but come on! Tweek had said 'yes', and as his boyfriend, Crag should have been able to at least hug him. All he could do now was keep his boyfriend happy by staying away, and anybody could do that.
Craig sighed, shoving his face into a pillow. If there was one thing he'd prided himself on, it was his patience. He might do things irrationally, but never hurriedly or too fast. He'd debated for three months before asking Tweek out, but he'd finally done it because he'd really liked him, not because of anything else. But it didn't even seem as if Tweek returned his feelings.
He could only hope Tweek came around soon. Tweek's avoidance hurt, no matter how much he didn't show it.
The next morning Craig went over to Tweek's house to walk with him to school, just like he had ever since he had asked him out. They walked on the sidewalk in silence, close enough for people to know they were walking together, but not enough for them to think they were anything other than friends.
Craig glanced over at Tweek, taking in his twitches and quivers. He wanted to hold him, to wrap his arms around the blond's waist and keep him warm, but he knew Tweek would spaz out big-time.
He hesitated, then called out softly, "Tweek?"
The coffee-addict jumped, but managed to restrain himself from shrieking. "...y-yeah?"
Craig paused, then diffidently stretched out his hand; a silent invitation.
Tweek looked down at it, biting his lip. His body continued to quiver and shudder, a bright blush coating his cheeks. There was a silent moment, but then Tweek shook his head, clutching his thermos tighter and almost shying away.
The raven kept his expression neutral, unwilling to show his crushing disappointment, his had falling limply back to his side. They continued walking.
But the distance between them was just the tiniest bit bigger, the silence just a tad deeper.
At lunch, Craig searched for Tweek but couldn't find him anywhere, even after he checked all of the bathrooms and under the stairwells. After half of the lunch period had passed, Craig gave up, admitting that Tweek probably didn't want to be found by anyone, much less him. As much as it hurt him, he sighed and retreated to a lonely table in the corner of the courtyard, taking out a cigarette and an old Sharpie, lighting the first one up and doodling absently on the table with the other. He puffed slowly, little clouds of smoke wafting away from him on a cold breeze. Craig felt depressed. He looked down and saw that he had scribbled a little drawing of a thermos, its steam in the shape of a broken heart. It was a pretty crappy drawing; it looked like a weirdly-shaped oval with squiggly stuff coming out.
A shuffle of footsteps sounded, and a familiar figure sat down next to him. Craig looked up to see Token peering lazily at him.
"Hey, man." The raven sighed, tapping ash from the end of his cig. "What're you doing here?"
"I was about to ask you that." The other glanced around, the light of interest in his eyes. "Where's Tweek?"
Craig grunted, shrugging moodily.
"What, you guys didn't break up already, did you?" Token looked surprised. "I thought you guys would last for way longer than that."
"You give me too much credit." Craig mumbled, his eyes staring down at the cigarette he rolled between his fingers.
'Why?" The dark-skinned boy leaned back as if settling in. "What happened?" When Craig said nothing, the other crossed his arms in expectance, clearly waiting. There was another pause before the raven finally gave in.
Another sigh. "I just don't see it working out. I can't…I can't even touch the guy. He won't let me. I can't hold his hand, or hold him, hell, I got punched in the face last time I tried to kiss him." Craig paused, taking another puff to distract himself. Smoke came out of his mouth as he admitted, "I don't know how much longer I can do this. I always tell him I love him, but he's never said it back, or even an 'I like you'…I don't think he knows how much I love him."
"But, dude, you've doted on the guy for years. You've been friends forever. How does he not know?" Token exclaimed incredulously. "Wait, he won't even let you hold his hand?"
Craig nodded miserably. "I want to hold out, but…I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm always depressed, just thinking about it."
Token shook his head. "Then maybe you should just break up with him." He suggested casually. "It's not worth it if it gets you this down. You might've been better off as just friends."
The idea shocked him, horrified him, but the raven didn't let it show; saying only, "I dunno." Craig finished off his cigarette, flicking it away onto the ground. "I don't want to just give up but, I can't do this for too long."
The other shrugged. "Your life, your heart, man." The bell rang and they both stood up, standing like sentinels, alone by their table. Token looked over. "Weird oval. What's the stuff by it?"
Craig lay the Sharpie down on the lonely table, intent on leaving it. "Nothing. It's nothing."
Craig contemplated his dilemma for another two weeks before finally, hesitantly arriving at a decision. He didn't want to be hasty, but it seemed as if Tweek would never change, and now, Craig thought the only reason he had even said 'yes' in the first place was because there had been so many people around them he had felt forced to agree. Tweek didn't love him the way Craig loved Tweek. It hurt, but that was the truth.
Friday, he walked the blond home that same distance between them. The raven looked at his 'boyfriend', a dull tingling in his throat, reminiscent of a crying jag. No, he couldn't cry. He wouldn't show Tweek how hurt he was.
Craig pushed past the feeling in his throat, calling out Tweek's name. The other turned to see a hand extended, another invitation. Craig felt the merest dim flare of hope in his heart, praying one more time for a miracle.
But then Tweek shook his head and the flame died, leaving Craig cold and empty inside. At the door, waiting for Tweek' to open it and go inside, he wavered in his decision. He could still wait for a little while, couldn't he? He could go on like this for just a little while longer.
Then as he Tweek opened the door and took a step forward, Craig knew he couldn't. This was it. Any longer and he'd just be fooling himself with false hope that he already knew would never come true.
"Tweek?"
It was horrible, but Token was right: it wasn't worth it if it hurt him so much.
"I wanna break up."
Tweek turned back to him, horrified at the sudden statement. "W-what? Why?"
"Tweek, you know why. In the two and a half months since we started going out, I've never really held your hand, or hugged you, or even touched you without you spazzing out on me. It's just...it's not working anymore. It never was." Craig sighed, feeling the words stab at him from the inside. "How can I call you my boyfriend if I've never even held you?"
"B-but..." Tweek was looking frantic by now, and his thermos slipped from trembling fingers to clunk on the ground. He didn't seem to notice. "I'll l-let you -ngh- h-hold me and e-everything! Augh, I-I will, I p-promise!"
Craig shook his head. "No. I don't want to force you. It'd only be fake, and I don't want you pretending. If you really wanted me as a boyfriend, I would at least have been able to hold your hand, even if it was only in private. But you don't want me, much less me touching you."
"But I will, I-I swear!" Tweek whimpered. "Y-you're the only o-one who -hnn- l-loves me, who n-never -ngh- makes fun...wh-who always tries..."
"Tweek..." Craig smiled sadly at him. "I do all of that because I'm your friend, not just because I love you." He reached up a hand, his fingers centimeters from Tweek's flushed cheek. But even though Tweek didn't shy back, the raven stopped, letting his hand fall back. "Bye Tweek. I'll see you on Monday...as friends, okay?"
Before that aching feeling in his heart got any worse, Craig turned and walked for home, trying not to simply break down and fall to his knees under the crushing sensation of his chest, leaving Tweek standing alone by his open door.
Craig spent his weekend in bed, ignoring his friend's calls and texts, not getting much sleep and just feeling too tired in general to get up and do anything. He didn't know what'd he do anyway.
Token came by Sunday late afternoon, walking casually through the unlocked door and pushing away the multiple junk food wrappers to sit next to him on the bed. He looked at Craig, who stared blankly back. The former finally broke the silence. "How you holding up?"
"I don't know." Was the only thing Craig said.
Token scoffed. "You have to know more than that."
"I don't know." Craig repeated. "I really don't. I feel...I feel relieved a little. I don't have to worry about it anymore now that we're just friends. But," he paused. "I'm not...happy. I'm not happy at all with any of this and how it turned out. I didn't think we'd turn out this way. I thought our relationship would be better."
"Perfect?" Token offered. The raven nodded slowly and the other sighed. "You know nothing ever works out perfectly, man. It's unrealistic."
"I know." Craig murmured. "But I hoped. And now I don't know what to do anymore."
"You know what you have to do." Token affirmed. "Tomorrow you're going to meet Tweek at school like normal and be his friend. You gave him a chance, a two-and-a-half month chance, and he didn't take it. Maybe you can try again later, maybe not. But right now, this is what you got." Token prodded a fallen chip bag with his feet. "And stop pigging out on crap. No one likes a fat dude."
Craig was silent. "Clyde texted me yesterday." he finally said. "Said he talked to Tweek. Said that Tweek cried when he told him what happened."
Token rolled his eyes, but sympathetically. "Tweek cries every time you mention the movie 'Titanic'. He's probably worried you won't be his friend anymore or something."
"But I don't see why he's crying, if he never loved me, and I told him anyway we'd still be friends..." Craig rolled over on his side, away from Token, his voice low. "I didn't want to make cry."
The dark-skinned boy leaned over to pat his friend's arm. "No one ever wants to make their loved one cry. But maybe this way Tweek'll see what he's missing."
Craig snorted. "You can't miss what you don't want. I want to say I miss him, but you can't miss what you never had, either."
"Don't worry, it'll get better."
The raven stared almost accusingly at him. "How do you know?"
Token stood up. "When you're down, the only way you can go is up." He extended a hand down to him. "Come on, Clyde's downstairs, and he's waiting for me to convince your sad, lazy behind to get up and play laser tag with us."
Craig stared up at the invitation, reminded of how he'd done the same with Tweek. But instead of doing what the blond had done, he reached up and took hold of it, letting himself get pulled up. They walked out of the room together, and Craig dark mood lifted up a little.
"...thanks, man."
Token shrugged. "I'm your friend. We're supposed to be there for each other. What else could I do?"
The next morning, Craig walked along to school and waited by the school gate for Tweek. He felt better; not completely healed, but better, because it wasn't as if he had lost Tweek forever. They were still friends, and he'd never lose that.
Tweek cut it close, leaving only three minutes 'til the first bell before he finally arrive, hair messy and himself winded. Craig greeted him normally, and walked with him across the courtyard to his locker, making sure Tweek didn't freak out in the crowds there. Tweek had a problem with crowds.
The blond was strangely silent throughout the walk, a worried look on his face. He was slow in opening his locker, and slow in taking his stuff out. He shut his locker, mumbling, "You didn't pick me up today."
Craig was surprised, but kept his expression under control as he replied truthfully, "I only picked you up when we were going out."
The bell rang and Craig waved a short goodbye to Tweek, turning to go to his first class. Craig only walked him to class when they dated, too.
The following week was hard on Craig. He was relieved he didn't have to worry about their relationship anymore, but that didn't mean he didn't miss being around Tweek like he used to. He still got pangs in his heart, every time he waved goodbye to Tweek and didn't walk him to class, every time the bell rang to end a period and he didn't rush off to meet up with Tweek, and he knew the pain would last a while. He didn't just break up with somebody and not feel anything. Not if it was Tweek.
Tweek hadn't been the only one with a chance; Craig had had a chance too, and somehow it had slipped away.
But Craig held out the hope, was convinced, that if he could get everything the exact same as it had been, if he could recover exactly how he'd acted as a friend, no more and no less, than it would be as if they'd never gone out. And that gave him another chance, another hope to ask him out again in the future. And maybe this time everything would go along a lot better.
At least, that's what Craig hoped. But Tweek wasn't making it any easier.
All week he'd been silent and preoccupied as if with some secret worry, from the moment Craig met him in the morning, to when they parted to go home. Tweek seemed to be strangely reluctant to leave the raven's side as well, never willingly wandering any more than a foot from him. Which, in all honesty, was interfering with Craig's plans for a second chance. It also made his heart hurt. What was he supposed to think, that Tweek didn't want anything to do with him while they were dating, but now didn't want him to leave? It was as if Tweek was playing with him, fully aware of how he felt and seemingly uncaring, twisting him all upside. And now Craig was worried that they would never regain their old friendship again.
His patience was long, but his heart's not nearly as strong. Now it was running low, fast.
He suffered through yet another week, but things finally came to a head on Friday, when Tweek almost begged Craig to walk him to class, reaching forward to touch him.
"Goddamit, Tweek!" He'd exploded, jerking back with teeth bared and shoulders raised as if he were some hackled animal. "You don't want me to touch you when were going out, but as soon as we're friends again, you can't get enough of me? Make up your damn mind and stop jerking me around!"
Tweek stared at him with a frightened expression, quivering pathetically, looking about ready to burst into tears. Craig's anger was instantly doused, and his hands clenched in regret as he stared around at the people who'd stopped and stared at his outburst. A horrible sense of deja vu washed over him.
He cursed mentally, his voice desperately contrite. "I-I'm sorry, Tweek, I...I'm sorry. I can't walk you to class. Sorry." Craig abruptly turned and almost ran away, pushing through the crowd. He flipped off two whispering, staring girls and punched a snickering guy in the face as he passed.
Later that day, he was called to the office and subsequently suspended for three days for fighting.
His weekend was long and boring, and he suffered through his punishment on Monday and Tuesday, spending his days alone in the house while his sister went to school and his parent worked.
He did not sink into his depressing and lazy mood as he had done when he'd broken up with Tweek, but instead was filled with a restless energy, one that did not let him nap or stay still for any more than twenty minutes. In some ways, it was almost worse.
Now he was certain that he'd lost his friendship with Tweek, that his yelling had pushed him away forever. He kept seeing the coffee-addict's frightened eyes, the watery depths of them as he was almost driven to tears, and his heart throbbed with guilt. He never wanted to hurt him like that.
Craig wandered his house aimlessly for long periods of time on Wednesday, the last day of his suspension, tidying up random things in his effort to get rid of the lingering restlessness, and in short order the house was almost spotless. The cleanliness irritated him; it reminded him how low he had sunk in his worry.
Finally he went down to the basement, flopping down on the short couch there and flipping on the large television, turning it onto a music channel. Loud strains of skaw music blared through the speakers and he closed his eyes, willing his body to go to sleep. His restlessness was grating on his nerves, and he thought a short nap might take him away from everything for a while.
Now, if only he could go to sleep...
There was a voice calling him, and Craig looked up to see Tweek bending over him, worry in those big beautiful eyes of his. He smiled up at the person he loved so close, and his arms reached up, an invitation for a warm embrace.
And wonder of all wonders, Tweek put down his thermos and slowly, hesitantly, reached for him, face afire in red as he lay down next to Craig. The raven hugged him close gently, his heart fit to burst.
And when Tweek shyly gripped the front of his shirt, Craig breathed a sigh of relief and happy content into the soft butter yellow hair and didn't protest at all when the darkness of deeper sleep crept into the corners of his vision, thoughts fuzzy.
Best dream I've had in a long while...
Cold consciousness had its claws in him, tugging him away from warm sleep, and while Craig resisted, it was no use; he slowly came awake. Still, awake or not, he was reluctant to open his eyes and let go of that dream he'd been having, a sweet one where he'd held Tweek in his arms. He knew it was only going to give him heartache later, but he didn't want to dispel it just yet...
Yawning, he snuggled deeper into his pillow, gripping it tighter. A thought pierced his muggy thoughts. He didn't go to sleep on his bed, he'd gone to sleep on the couch in the basement, and he didn't remember any pillows ever being there...
"...C-Craig?"
The hesitant tones were the force that snapped his eyes open to see a messy mane of blond up against his face. Tweek's hair. Tweek.
Craig scrambled back hurriedly to the opposite end of the couch, cursing the shortness of it as Tweek sat by the other end, knees drawn up to his chest. The raven's heart yelled out joyously, 'It wasn't a dream!', reveling in the fact that Tweek had embraced him, had willingly done so, but his mind was screaming at him that he'd done something horribly wrong.
"...how long was I asleep?" He asked.
Tweek wouldn't meet his eyes and Craig's heart plummeted at the observation. "A-about an hour..."
"I'm sorry." It was the only thing Craig could say. "I didn't mean to yell at you on Friday and I know you don't like to be touched...I thought I was dreaming."
"You...you -ngh- d-dream about...hugging me?"
The raven was glad Tweek wasn't looking at him, so he couldn't see his light blush. "Sometimes." There was a long moment of silence, then Craig ventured, "I'm sorry for touching you."
Tweek flinched at the words, as if they stung, but didn't do anything, only hunched deeper on his side of the couch. Another long minute, then he mumbled into his knees, "I came t-to -hnn- a-a-apologize."
Craig was confused. "For...for what?"
"Augh, f-for taking advantage of you!" Craig was struck dumb by Tweek's sudden outburst, and his silence beckoned for the blond to continue. "Wh-when you asked -ngh- m-me out...I was scared, b-but happy." I-I liked you walking me to c-class, a-and you -erk- w-walking me home, a-and you always being there. I l-liked saying th-that I had a boyfriend." Tweek paused, hesitating. "But...I w-was -ngh- afraid. Th-that anything I did m-might -augh- ruin e-everything. That I might...m-mess everything up. But you were nice, a-and you -ngh- n-n-never forced me to do anything I d-didn't want. I liked...I l-liked that I could b-be your boyfriend w-without actually doing anything." Here Tweek's voice got soft and soft. "And th-that wasn't f-fair to you."
Craig felt a dull throb in his chest, of both hope and regret, as he carefully scooted closer, but making sure not to touch the blond, not yet. "Tweek...it's okay. You don't have to be scared; you wouldn't have messed anything up. I held you for an hour and you didn't do a single thing wrong. I thought I was having the perfect dream." Craig gently reached out to touch the bottom of Tweek's chin so the blond looked up to him. "If you wanna take it slow, then we'll take it slow. Okay?"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Here." The raven put up a hand, motioning for Tweek to take it. The other looked at him nervously but timidly reached out to lay his hand on top of Craig's palm. Craig tenderly took hold of it, lacing their fingers together slowly while Tweek looked on in something akin to wonder. The raven smiled. "See? Nothing went wrong with that, did it?"
Tweek shook his head, cheeks stained red.
"There you go." Craig scooted closer slowly, trying not to startle him as he held his other arm out. "Can I...can I hold you? Please?"
Tweek hesitated once more, but nodded bashfully again, his quivers down to a low, continuous trembling. Craig smiled at him. "C'mere." Trying not to move too quickly, Craig leaned forward, keeping their hands intertwined as he slipped his other arm around his waist, drawing him closer until Tweek was straddling his lap, resting against Craig's chest. The raven could feel Tweek's heartbeat, fast and thumping between them. "This isn't so bad, is it?"
"N-no." Tweek admitted meekly.
"You're doing great, Tweek." Craig closed his eyes, letting go of Tweek's hand to hold him a little more tightly, laying his head over Tweek's as he relaxed. "There's no way you could ever mess up anything."
"Ngh, b-but this stuff i-is all easy..." Tweek mumbled, hands shyly coming up to grip at Craig's shirt. The raven hummed and chuckled.
"Well, maybe I'll kiss you and see how that works out." He joked lightly, but he froze as Tweek stiffened in his arms, looking up at him with a startled look on his face; Craig backpedaled quickly. "I-I was just kidding, I won't."
Tweek paused, hands tightening on Craig's shirt. "Y-you can...i-if you -ngh- w-want to..."
The raven's eyes widened. "...you sure?"
Tweek nodded quickly and Craig smiled again, bending forward carefully until their lips were only an inch apart. He paused, looking into Tweek's eyes for reassurance. He couldn't see them; the little blond had his eyes tightly closed, his entire body tense and shaking in nervous anticipation. Craig chuckled, letting of Tweek to softly cup his face.
"Tweek, Tweek, relax. Open your eyes and breathe, okay? Just breathe."
The twittery blond blushed deeper, visibly making an effort to relax and calm down. He opened his eyes to look at Craig, worried eyes looking slightly hopeful, and the raven gently dipped down, gently pressing his lips against his beloved's.
It wasn't an amazing kiss. There wasn't any tongue and they didn't move their lips; it was a simple, sweet, chaste kiss. And it was absolutely perfect in Craig's heart. Nothing else could have been better.
Craig pulled back from their softness, a beatific smile gracing his face. "That was perfect Tweek. Just perfect."
"R-really? A-all...simple like th-that?"
He laughed. "We're taking it slow, remember?" He pressed another kiss to Tweek's waiting lips. "This is all I need."
Tweek's face was so red, it was a wonder steam didn't come out of his ears. "Does this...does th-this -ngh- m-mean you're my boyfriend again?"
Craig hugged him close, beaming. "As long as you want me to be, Tweek. I don't ever want to leave you again.
"I love you."
Later that night, Craig made a call.
"Yeah?"
"Token, why do I get the feeling you talked to Tweek?"
"What?"
Craig rolled his eyes, even though he knew Token couldn't see him. "I always keep my doors locked. And you're the only one who knows where the extra key is. There is no way Tweek could have gotten inside without your help. Now, what did you say to him?"
"Me? Nothing." There was a pause. "But I did tell Clyde to tell him something."
"Which was?"
"That he needed to decide something now, because you'd never force him to do anything and if he waited for you to fix things, nothing would ever happen because your patience would never run out when it came to him." Another pause. "And I told him to tell Tweek where the key was. Does this mean you guys are back together?"
"Yeah." Craig admitted. "And, uh...thanks."
He could almost see Token shrug. "I'm your friend. What else was I supposed to do?"
FLUUUUUUUUFF! It rots me inside internally...xDDD