Megalomania
Author's Note: This has nothing to do with the near-eponymous Incubus song. It is, however, inspired by a line in the second chapter of The End, which is posted on this account. It's not necessary to read it to understand this, but you know you want to. Following in the same vein as that piece, though, I'm writing it in an experimental style, specifically second point of view, present tense, with Peter Pettigrew being the "you" that is addressed. I think it provides more of an accusatory tone, ya dig? Tell me if I pulled it off. Last, but not least, definitions were provided by the website, dictionary (dot) com.
You've never been one for dictionaries, but you're looking something up, some stupidly long word that Lucius Malfoy called you – pusillanimous? – and you don't have the guts to ask anybody what it means. No, you're too embarrassed for that. You're going through the M-section when a word catches your eye.
megalomania /měg'ə-lō-mā'nē-ə, -mān'yə/
noun
1. A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.
2. An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions.
You don't know what the hell "psychopathological" is, nor do you know the word "grandiose," but you know what "delusional" and "obsession" mean, and you were once a churchgoing, God-fearing boy, hanging on to every word of the pastor's sermon (and in a sense you still are, with the fear of god instilled in you and you practically breathe in your master's words, but you no longer go to church, what a shame), so you know what "omnipotence" is. You laugh, too, but it's a real quiet snicker, one that you wish you hadn't let escape, the insolent rebel in you left over from the Marauder-days tempered and easily quashed by fear, fear of your master, of what'll happen when he learns (and you know he will, your master always does) about this snicker, about this little bit of humor you found at his expense.
Megalomania. A condition your master fits to a tee. All his dreams reduced to delusional fantasies, to an obsession.
You flip through the N's, the O's, and almost to the end of the P's, this quiet snicker quelled but still trying to fight its way out of your lungs, a smirk and your fear battling for mastery of your lips, as you glance around furtively, hoping that nobody sees.
Then you find "pusillanimous," and all the humor, the insolence, the snicker, the smirk – it all switches off in you like a light bulb (not that you have anything to do with such things, filthy nasty Muggle things), all because this is your word, just as megalomania is your master's.
pusillanimous /pyōō'sə-lān'ə-məs/
adjective
Lacking courage; cowardly.