Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters you recognise. The song is 'Inner Strength' by Hilary Duff.
Dedication: To Blaire, Nat, Manda and Cath…my four best friends!
Summary: Susie is feeling sad and alone…how does she deal with her pain?
Susie sat by the river deep in thought. It seemed lately she had spent a lot of time thinking, mainly about Jonesy and how she was going to deal with their situation. Jonesy had left the state for a few weeks to deal with family matters and Susie was missing him desperately. Before he left they had fought about something, it was such a stupid fight and Susie couldn't even remember what it was about…but she remembered him walking out of the house and not coming back.
She had found out that she was pregnant the day before Jonesy left and by the time she worked up the courage to tell Jonesy it was too late, he had already gone. She sighed and picked up a rock then threw it into the river. She watched as the calm and gentle, river was disturbed by the sudden appearance of the rock. The water rippled as the rock fell gently down and joined the rest of the rocks and debris on the bottom.
Susie felt like she had nobody to talk to. Kelly and Joss were too busy fighting with each other, Alex was busy trying to keep them separated and Amy just wasn't as much of a friend as Susie had hoped. Just when they were starting to connect, Amy shut Susie out of her life again.
Susie sighed once again and looked at her watch. It was getting late and she promised to meet the others at the pub for a dinner and a drink. She didn't want to go, but she figured it was better than sitting at home alone feeling sorry for herself. She slowly stood up, took one final glance at the river then headed for her car.
As she drove along the road back into town she could see the sun starting to set. The sky was a beautiful crimson red colour and as the sun reflected off the buildings and the fences they too were a light shade of red. She smiled at the beautiful sight and continued on her way to the pub.
"Susie you made it!" Alex cried. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming."
"Well I wasn't going too." Susie mumbled.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." Susie smiled. "So…where are the others?"
"Well its just the four of us. Everyone else was either busy or just didn't want to come."
"Oh…okay." Susie sat down between Alex and Kelly.
"So are you feeling any better?" Kelly asked.
"What?" Susie replied.
"This morning you said you weren't feeling too good. Are you feeling any better?"
"Not much. But I think I might be okay if I get a bit more sleep tonight." Susie replied.
"Okay." Kelly was satisfied with that answer.
"Hey Kell, you want to play pool?"
"Sure…I've been waiting to kick your ass all day!" She stood up.
"You guys want to play too?" Joss asked, standing up.
"No thanks." Susie replied. "I'll sit this one out."
"Yeah I'm right. You guys play…just try not to kill each other."
"Aww…what's the fun in that?" Kelly laughed and she and Joss walked off.
"Hey Susie what's up?"
"Huh?' "Well you've been really down ever since Jonesy left. You're acting like a lovesick puppy."
"What?"
"Yeah. It's so obvious you miss him. Why don't you call him and get him to come back?"
"It's not exactly that easy." "
Why not? You miss him, he probably misses you too…so call him."
"I cant."
"Any particular reason?"
"It's complicated okay. Look I'm tired. I'm going to go home to bed. Goodnight. Apologise to the others for me." Susie stood and before Alex could say anything else Susie had left the pub.
When she got home she sat down on her bed and cried. Her emotions were all over the place and being pregnant didn't help that much. To take her mind off Jonesy she turned the television on. There wasn't much on TV, just a soap opera on one channel, and the news on another channel and some cartoon on another channel. Susie sighed and turned it off again.
She yawned and lay back on the couch. She rested her head on the arm of the couch and before she knew it she had fallen asleep.
"Susie!" She heard her name being called. In the distance she could see Jonesy, running towards her. He was trying to reach her but there was an invisible wall keeping them apart. Susie tried with all her strength to break the wall down but it wouldn't work. She kept banging her fists on the wall, trying to get to Jonesy. He started slipping away slowly, they were getting further and further apart.
"Susie!" Jonesy called. "Help me!"
"I cant…!" Susie called back. Her strength was diminishing. She was loosing her will to try. She kept pounding on the invisible wall until finally Jonesy slipped out of view. "Noooo!" She cried.
And she started being pulled away. She tried to break through the wall but there were hands reaching out to her, pulling her away. She tried hard to push them away but they were too strong for her. They were pulling her away, further and further away from the wall, further away from Jonesy.
"Noooo!" She screamed again. Then everything went black.
Susie awoke with a start. She was covered in sweat and she was having trouble breathing. She had tears running down her face and she felt like she was going to be sick.
She stood up and rushed to the bathroom and she only just made it before she threw up.
She collapsed on the floor and burst into tears.
"I hate being pregnant!" She cried and she threw up again.
Gotta find your inner strength
If you can't then just throw life away
Gotta learn to rely on you
Beauty, strength, and wisdom, too
You're beautiful inside and out
Lead a great life without a doubt
Don't need a man to make things fair
'Cuz more than likely he won't be there
Listen girl, gotta know it's true
In the end all you've got is you
Well there ya go. That was the first chapter. Next chapter will be done soon…but I want at least 5 reviews or I'm not posting anymore lol!
Jess