Not seeing your best friend for 70+ years is a perfectly good reason to want to spend all of your time with them, right? At least that's what Steve's been telling himself.
It's been two weeks since Bucky officially came back, and he has spent exactly 48 hours away from him. Really, what choice does he have? First of all, he's just wasted more than seventy years away from the guy that used to be (and still is, really) his best friend and, of course, Bucky needs to understand the world as it is now. And honestly, who's better to show him these kinds of things than Steve?
So he decides that Bucky should see a film, in one of those new cinemas that have great definition. He will definitely like to see how much better the images are.
It's a nice movie, the new Star Wars one. Steve's seen the other ones and he thinks Bucky did (he prefers not to ask too much, sometimes it makes Bucky halt), too, but Clint assured him that you didn't need to watch any Star Wars to understand this one, so they go.
The night is a bit chilly, a little taste of winter in the middle of autumn, and they huddle close together while they walk. Steve ends up gulping every time Buky gets a bit too close, but it's so, so nice. He feels so warm, not just on the outside, and he can't even remember when he's felt this good. It feels like a lifetime ago.
They eat popcorn and sit in silence, paying attention to the movie. It's a long one, and he can't help but steer his gaze towards Bucky a few times. His jaw is tight and he seems on edge, so when the movie ends, he puts his hand on top of Bucky's and looks him in the eye.
"Buck, you okay?"
Bucky sighs and puts his other hand on top of Steve's.
"Just… I hate wars"
Steve can't help but laugh. He squeezes Bucky's hand, and nods. "So do I"
Bucky seems to think for a while, even looking away, but then he looks up and says, "I'm really glad we made it. Even if it wasn't how I'd hoped", it seems like it was a very hard thing for him to say, like it took a lot for him to confess this. Steve's heart breaks a little, and he pulls Bucky into a hug.
"I love you, man"
"I love you too"
They leave the cinema, still walking just a tad too close, and Steve feels faint. When did he start to feel like a 13-year-old girl around his best friend? What happened these past couple of weeks that changed something inside of him? What, exactly, is he even feeling?
He doesn't want to dwell on it, so he just keeps his mouth shut while Buck asks him questions about the Avengers and his missions.
One of the many rules they established for Bucky was that he was to be placed on a different place from where Steve's been living. They thought it would be too dangerous for both of them to be seen at the same place, it would make them too much of a target.
Bucky thinks this rule sucks. Not only because he's always found it easier to sleep with Steve nearby, but he's also been feeling things - for Steve - he doesn't know how to deal with, and he thinks it would be so much better if he could have some time to actually talk about them, instead of thinking about them before he goes to bed every night.
When they reach Steve's place, he thinks it's going to be like the other nights. They'll wave (or hug, sometimes they hug and it's really comforting) goodbye and go their own ways. He'll watch Steve walking away, wave again and go inside.
But not this time.
They hug, ok, and it's as nice as ever. But when Steve's walking away, a strand of his hair falls in his face, and Bucky feels something coming over him and does something he can't decide if it's stupid or the best decision of his life.
He waves Steve back, and Steve, beautiful, brilliant Steve, actually jogs back to his front door.
"Everything okay?"
Bucky nods, "Yeah, just, come in for a bit".
They step inside, climbing the four set of stairs in total silence. None of them know what comes next, what to do, what they're feeling, just that their hearts are beating absurdly fast and this feels, somehow, perfect.
Steve's mind keeps going on and on, thinking about what Natasha told him a while back, about love and relationships and kisses. Ever since he came back, the kisses he's shared were friendly, never coming from a place of real love, never something that meant anything. But as they step inside, he thinks that maybe this is why he hasn't been able to kiss anyone properly. What if he's been waiting for Bucky? What if he's meant to be kissing his best friend?
His palms sweat a little, and he gulps.
There is something in the air, something heavy, and he senses Bucky feels it too, and it's giving Steve the worst possible ideas.
"Stay over tonight", Bucky says, his voice barely a whisper, as he takes Steve's coat and hangs it.
Steve gulps again. You can say no, just say no, please, you can't do this to Bucky, his mind says, but what comes out is, "Sure"
Maybe he just needed confirmation, or maybe he knew what he was going to do all along, but as soon as the word leaves Steve's mouth, Bucky turns around, hugs his best friend close and then, as slowly as possible, presses his lips against Steve's.
It's as gentle as a first kiss could be. Bucky steps away too soon, wanting to see Steve's reaction to the kiss and he smiles when he sees the look of utter joy on his face. "Is this okay?", he can't help but ask.
Steve smiles, blushing a little bit. "Of course it is, Buck. I feel like I've been waiting for this for 96 years"
They share a laugh and start kissing again, with a lot more heat, and then there are winter coats on the floor, shoes left by the door of Bucky's living room, and somehow they end up laying on the kitchen floor, kissing so much that Steve's lips feel sore. He loves it.
In the middle of their heated kissing, they let out little gasps and moans and Steve really want to do more than kissing, but it doesn't feel right. He wants to do this properly. Hell, he's just found out he's been in love with his best friend for a very long time. He needs time.
Bucky seems to sense something's off, and moves aside. Steve lays there, next to him, and he finds Bucky's right hand with his own, and squeezes tightly.
"Steve?", he asks, quietly. Steve's never seen him look so small. They stare at each other.
"Look, Bucky, this was amazing. And I want it to keep being amazing", he says quickly, afraid that if he stops to think about it, the words won't come out, "I thought I would be alone, that I just didn't have it in me to date again, but, well…"
"Every hero needs a sidekick?", Bucky volunteers. Steve laughs, squeezing his hand again.
"Yeah, exactly", he says, and sighs, "So be with me?"
In his head, the wording was different, he wanted something more well thought, but this will do. It feels right too.
"Steve…", Bucky stands over him, his hand still intertwined with Steve's, arm holding him up, "I've been with you all my life".
They kiss again.