A/N: Ok so this is just a little RP I did on the internet and i thought it was cute so bleah! See if you can guess who i played.
turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat.
ectoBiologist [EB] joined chat.
TG: sup
EB: oh, hey dave.
TG: i reiterate
TG: sup john
EB: not much is up, i guess.
TG: well i guess that would explain why you were sitting on your computer then
EB: eeexactly.
TG: fun
EB: how about you? sup, dave?
TG: not much
TG: was just chilling and thought id check up on my favorite derp
EB: hey! i'm not a derp! :(
TG: john you are such a derp
EB: i am not.
TG: the little citizens of derptopia have crowned you their king
EB: :(
TG: hey sing your praises to the derp gods every morning
TG: before they watch the holy con air
EB: i'm not a derp.
EB: and con air kinda sucks.
TG: would you really let the little derptopians down john?
TG: and yeah
TG: it does
TG: im glad youve found some sense
TG: so if youre not all up and burried in nick cages chest hair these days
TG: then what are you up to
EB: oh, don't get me wrong, nic cage is still amazing.
EB: i just don't like con air all that much.
TG: whelp guess youre still the king then
EB: dammit.
TG: one small step for you one giant leap for johnkind
TG: heh hey you brought that one on yourself man
TG: but back to the topic
TG: how is life treating you
EB: life's pretty good, i guess?
TG: chill
TG: what really thats all you have to say
EB: mhmm. i don't know what else to say on that matter, really.
TG: fiiiine
TG: so how are jade and people
TG: still filling your boyish brain with wonder
EB: wait what.
TG: what do you mean what
EB: since when do they "fill my boyish brain with wonder"
EB: like, what.
TG: oh come on john
TG: dont make me spell this one out for you
EB: well, considering i don't have a clue what you're on about, i think you're gonna have to.
TG: sigh
TG: well you see john when a prepubecent boy is stuck with very few people for a very long time...
EB: oh my god.
EB: no, no they're not.
TG: there we go
TG: oh really
TG: they they arent huh
EB: jade never filled my brain with wonder. she's my sister, that would be wrong.
TG: psh im not one to judge if youre into freaky shit
EB: and what's that supposed to mean?
TG: besides you found out she was your sister only... what
TG: three years ago
TG: and it means what it means john
TG: but the real question is what do you think it means
TG: because suddenly i am intrigued
EB: i know i found out three years ago. that's why it's weird.
EB: and you said "im not one to judge"
EB: implying you're into freaky shit.
TG: pft
TG: one can't grow up with bro and not end up freaky
EB: define freaky.
TG: oh eggs your mind is in the gutter tut tut
EB: not really. i'm just curious as to what you mean.
TG: dude your mind is so in the gutter
EB: it is not!
TG: but surprise surprise i mean that im not 100 percent on the normal train to plainsville
TG: it so is
EB: that doesn't surprise me. but still. i wanna know what you mean!
EB: it's not!
TG: is too
TG: well what do you think i mean
EB: i don't know what you mean, hence why i wanna know what you mean.
TG: playing innocent as always
TG: lets just say that texas was not a good place for me to be
EB: it's not even playing. i'm actually serious.
EB: wait what? why not?
TG: because john
TG: texas is very close minded
TG: and i know i am pretty much the most bad ass person ever
EB: i don't understand.
TG: but if the religeous prudes down there decided to have a field day i probably would have had to lay low for a bit
TG: oh come on john cant you put two and two together
TG: what do religous southerners really really hate
EB: close minded, religious prudes... hm. i don't know.
EB: oh.
EB: ohhhhhh.
TG: there we go
TG: give the man an award
TG: he has finally understood the writing on the wall
TG: do you have a speech prepared for this momentus occasion john
EB: so, you're... gay?
TG: no im just really really happy all the time
TG: yes im gay
TG: technically bi if you want to get all picky
EB: oh, pfft. well that's cool.
EB: i don't see how that's freaky shit though.
TG: but really half is enough for the churches to start lighting their torches and sharpening their pitchforks
TG: really
TG: john the king of no homo
TG: thinks that being homo
TG: is cool
EB: i am not the king of no homo, oh my god.
TG: dude yes you are
EB: i am not!
TG: are too
EB: i said that like, once. 3 years ago!
TG: and youre telling me that this has changed over the past three years
EB: it might have done. i dunno.
EB: is it important?
TG: if i was there right now i would be raising my eyebrow so vigorously that it would just permanently become part of my hairline
EB: you'd look odd with only one eyebrow.
TG: and that depends
TG: yeah
EB: depends on what?
TG: on what your answer is
EB: why?
TG: because john
TG: just because
EB: well then. fine. it has changed a little.
TG: really
EB: mhmm.
TG: how so
EB: i dunno. i mean.. i don't really think i care much about gender...? like, i like someone, i like them for who they are. not what's in their pants.
TG: how eloquently put
TG: so tell me then
TG: who's the lucky lad
EB: wait what.
TG: oh come on john
TG: you wouldnt have put any thought into this over the past three years if there wasnt some reasoning behind it
TG: so the question stands
TG: who made you change your mind
EB: why so curious?
TG: ...
TG: no reason
EB: oh come on. there's gotta be a reason.
TG: just watching out for you man
TG: gotta be sure i can give the two of you my blessing without having to strangle the poor guy
TG: i will shed a single tear as you walk down the isle
TG: little johnderp all grown up
EB: dave. what.
TG: just being ironic dude
TG: roll with it
TG: or dont
TG: your choice
EB: you're a dork.
TG: nope
TG: i am the king of cool
EB: more like the king of dork.
TG: nope
EB: yep.
TG: thats a title i think you still own rights to
EB: nooope. i'm the king of derp.
EB: not dork.
TG: haha so you admit it then
EB: yeah, i guess so.
EB: sigh.
TG: im so proud of you egderp
TG: finally rising to your crown
EB: oh shut up.
TG: nah
EB: please?
TG: but youre avoiding the point
EB: i'm doing my best at avoiding the point.
TG: aparently your best aint good enough
TG: but to be fair
TG: very few people can outmatch a strider
EB: pfft. i'm not one of them, it would seem!
TG: so it would
TG: so
TG: who is it
EB: i'm not saying.
TG: so you admit that there is someone
EB: there is someone.
EB: but i won't say who.
TG: i knew it
TG: why not
EB: because it's embarrassing!
TG: more embarassing than admiting you have the homo for someone
TG: if its karkat i swear to god...
EB: it's not karkat.
EB: i'm pretty sure you have a thing for him anyway.
TG: have a thing for karkat or have a thing for your mystery guy
EB: karkat!
EB: i think it's impossible for you to have a thing for the mystery guy.
TG: because the day i have a romantic relationship with that asshat is the day i go insane and try to kill everyone with a fork
TG: huh
TG: really
EB: mhmm.
TG: i dont know man im pretty open
TG: i mean if i wasnt already taken
EB: oh? by who? o:
TG: well i mean i only really have eyes for one person right now
TG: not that im literally taken
EB: oh, pfft. i thought you meant you were in a relationship or something. i was about to ask who!
TG: nah man
TG: just hoplesly head over heels
TG: he makes my kokoro go doki doki and all that crap
TG: and now i sound like bro
EB: so. who's the lucky guy to have gotten your attention then?
TG: hey were discussing you here not me
EB: nooope.
TG: yup
EB: we're discussing you now.
TG: im pretty sure you were just about to tell me his name
TG: besides what do you want to know
EB: nope. i wasn't gonna tell you!
TG: dude you so were
EB: so not!
TG: so were
EB: so not!
EB: you'll have to tell me the name of the guy who captured your attention first.
EB: fine. we can say at the same time.
TG: fine
EB: on 3?
TG: sure
EB: 1.
EB: 2...
EB: 3.
TG: you
EB: it's you.
EB: woah.
EB: you're kidding.
TG: fucking hell
TG: also were staring to sound like pre teen girls and its scaring me
TG: so were
TG: no
TG: please tell me you arent
EB: no, i'm not kidding. you literally made me doubt my sexuality, i think i'm pretty serious.
TG: welp
TG: thats pretty fucking chill
EB: i guess so?
TG: damn though when did this happen
TG: and why the fuck didnt you tell me sooner
TG: was i not being obvious enough
EB: because i was embarrassed!
EB: no, you weren't.
EB: not really.
EB: like i said, i was convinced you liked karkat.
TG: damn well i guess ill just have to try harder from now on
TG: woah wait seriously
EB: mhmm. vriska told me.
TG: did you miss the part about the fork
TG: vriska
TG: dude
TG: i havent even talked to her in like
TG: ever
EB: the fork? what.
EB: oh, right.
EB: well, until then i was convinced!
TG: the day i like karkat romantically is the day i go insane and kill everyone with a fork remember
TG: jesus
TG: you really are the king of derps
EB: sorry, i guess.
TG: psht dont be
TG: its part of your unnatural and unusual charm
TG: so
TG: are we like
TG: boyfriends now
EB: i guess so. if you wanna be, then sure!
TG: um hmmm let me think
TG: hells fucking yes
EB: wow. maybe you are the king of dorks.
EB: i'm totally okay with this.
TG: ill let that one slide for now
TG: yeah
TG: ok
EB: hey. dave. guess what.
TG: now we just have to figure out how to cross this incredibly large distance between us and everything should be fucking chill
TG: what?
EB: we're boyfriends. how cool is that.
EB: yeah, well.. we're kinda gonna meet up soon, right?
TG: thats pretty fucking cool john
TG: yeah i guess
TG: not soon enough if you ask me
EB: well, it could be any day now!
EB: i know it's cool.
EB: it's so cool, it's frozen.
TG: yup
EB: but it's not as cool as you.
TG: its like liquid nitrogen up in here
TG: see this is why i love you
EB: you love me?
TG: shit
TG: i didnt mean to type that
TG: or press eend
TG: send
TG: but
EB: shhh. it's okay.
EB: i love you too.
TG: really?
EB: mhmm. really.
TG: well then i guess i can say it again then right
EB: of course you can!
TG: i love you john
EB: i love you too, dave.