Title: The devil went down to Berk
AN: This is for a oneshot challenge with LadikThrawn
Prompt:You walk into a dark room with strange markings on the ground. You think someone tried to paint something until you accidentally cut yourself and spill your blood onto those markings and they start glowing. You slowly start to lose consciousness, but not before seeing a tall jet black person standing before you saying "You have freed me. Thus I will be forever in your debt." You woke up with a strange mark on your hand. 'What did I get myself into.' You think-
Conditions: Minimum 5000 words
Pairings: Astrid/Eret and Astrid/Hiccup
"Eret?" Astrid called as she entered the dark apartment. "Eret? Where in the world are you?" she called out again as she tried to find a light switch in the dark. Why the apartment was so dark could be anyone's guess. "I swear if you called me here just to stand me up again…" Astrid stopped when she walked a little further into the very dark apartment and her foot hit something on the floor. Even the curtains were drawn so it was hard for her to see what clattered on the wooden floors. She squinted to see what she had knocked over while searching in her bag for her phone so that she'd at least have some light.
Astrid could make out some strange markings on the floor and wondered if Eret drew those. She smiled as she finally felt her phone in the clutter that was her handbag but winced when she pricked her finger on her knitting needles. "Aaah!" Astrid sucked her bleeding finger into her mouth but didn't notice that a droplet of blood had landed on the weird symbols on the floor. She let out a gasp as the floor suddenly started glowing. Well, the strange markings she noticed had started glowing and with the light they were emanating she was able to see that she had kicked over an iron candle holder with a thick black candle in it. 'Where does one even find black candles?' she mused not fully comprehending what was happening. For all she knew this was just some elaborate hoax by her soon-to-be ex-husband to make her seem crazy. It wouldn't be the first time either.
The air in the apartment became thick and Astrid swore she could smell something like sulfur in the air. She was getting a bit dizzy and didn't immediately notice the thick mist that was settling over the floor. Astrid had to cover her eyes with her arm as the glow got brighter and brighter. She was swaying when the light finally dissipated. Astrid opened her mouth but no words came out as she gawked at the black-winged figure that had appeared in the middle of the apartment. Suddenly the full dizziness took over and her head was spinning. She pitched forward only to be caught by the strong arms of the mysterious figure. "You have freed me," she could faintly hear the person speaking. "So I will be forever in your debt." That was the last thing she remembered before finally succumbing to the darkness.
When Astrid finally woke up she found herself tucked in neatly in her bed. She frowned and wondered if the whole thing had been an odd dream but then she noticed the weird mark on the back of her hand. It was shaped like a curling dragon and completely jet black. "What in th-" Astrid didn't remember getting another tattoo and this wouldn't have been the spot she would have put it either. It was all so strange but Astrid stopped thinking about that when she noticed the clock on her nightstand read 14:30. "Ah Thor, I'm gonna be late!" She shouted before sprinting out of bed.
Astrid was glad that she was already dressed. She quickly grabbed her car keys from the bowl on her dresser, her phone, and her purse before stepping into her small living room. She was intent to be there on time but a strange person on her couch stopped her in her tracks.
"Hi Astrid!" The boy, auburn-haired and with a lankiness that resembled a fishbone, waved at her cheerfully from her couch where he was leaving through one of her Cosmopolitan magazines.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" Astrid shrieked as she was immediately on guard. 'How in tarnation did some strange teen get into her apartment?' She thought and grabbed the nearest thing she could find as a weapon. Said nearest thing happened to be her daughter's potted cactus plant.
"Now now…" The man said as he stepped back cautiously. "Why don't we put down the cactus and talk?"
"Why don't you get out of my apartment!"
"I'm afraid that that isn't possible until you fulfill the contract," the stranger said in a nasally voice.
"WHAT CONTRACT?!" Astrid still had the plant aimed at the intruder but she frowned. "Are you working for my husband or one of his attorneys?!"
"What?! No!" the other now said as he tried to placate Astrid. "Look, let me just show you my business card." With that, he reached into his back pocket and produced a small black card. Astrid took it with some suspicion and read:
Hiccup Haddock the 3rd
EVIL inc. CEO
For all your devilish needs
"You're kidding me right?" She raised a brow incredulously.
"We've been in business for 8372 years now," Hiccup told her. "Now you freed me from Hell with the summoning circle so I'm obligated to grant you your deepest desire."
"Riiiggghttt… So you expect me to believe that some…. What are you? 15 years old?" She asked "Is some demon from Hell that I somehow made a contract with?"
"Well, I'm not exactly 15." Hiccup mumbled. "Here let me show you," he then said before changing before Astrid's eyes into an older version of himself. Much closer to her age.
"OH MY THOR!" Astrid shrieked again as she backed into the wall. The cactus was held up threateningly once more as Hiccup, now looking like someone in his early twenties, rolled his eyes. "Can you please put the cactus down? While you aren't the most skeptical of the humans I've worked for, it is still odd to be talking to someone who can and probably will whack you with a spiky plant at a moment's notice." He then added "Besides don't you have somewhere to be?"
Astrid's eyes flew to her watch and she cursed. The clock now read 14:48 and she wouldn't make it to her destination in time. Hiccup saw this and offered "Look it's my fault you're running late. Why don't I pop you over and back once you're done?"
"Pop me over?" Astrid asked in confusion. "Like teleporting?"
"Yeah, just tell me where you need to be."
"Well that's awfully generous." Astrid was considering the idea and she glanced at her watch again. 'I'm never going to make it there in time, in this traffic and in my old jalopy,' she thought bitterly before glancing back at Hiccup. "Alright. I'll trust you to do this. But no funny business." She wagged her finger at him.
"Of course M'lady," Hiccup chuckled as he indicated for her to take his hand. "Now where to?"
"Dragon's Edge Primary Academy," Astrid told him and they were gone in a puff of black smoke before she even finished blinking. Hiccup poofed them into a nearby alleyway and Astrid clutched the wall in order to catch her breath. The whole thing had shocked her. "Easy now," Hiccup said. "Some people need to get used to this the first few times,"
Astrid took a breath and tried to calm herself. "I'm good," she told Hiccup. "Where are we?"
"Across from the school," Hiccup gestured and Astrid gaped before looking at her watch again, 14:53 it read and the pair crossed the street to wait with the parents picking up their children.
Hiccup was just standing next to Astrid looking around at how the city had changed since the last time he was there. Sure he'd seen most of it on Hell's news channels, having to keep up with current events for his job, but to see it in person was still something else. Hiccup looked around at those gathered by the school gates and caught some of the older ladies staring and whispering. 'Gossipers' his mind supplied. He wondered why they were staring in his and Astrid's direction. There was nothing of interest to see here.
"Don't bother with them," Astrid sighed as she whispered to Hiccup. "It won't stop their wagging tongues." Hiccup was going to ask why they would be talking about Astrid when the school bell rang. Soon an army of little humans descended towards the gates and Hiccup had to move aside quickly or possibly get trampled.
"Munchkin!" Hiccup saw Astrid shout as a small blonde-haired girl jumped into her arms. The little girl giggled and greeted "Hello Mommy!" After the tender moment Astrid turned to Hiccup and introduced them. "Honey this is Hiccup, Hiccup meet my daughter Ariana."
"Hiya Mister!" The girl gave a cheerful wave and then turned to her mother to ask "Is he your new boyfriend?" causing both Astrid and Hiccup to choke.
"No...No….." Astrid quickly said. "Hiccup is a…. He's a friend." She honestly didn't know what to call the demon she may have accidentally summoned. "He was nice enough to give Mommy a lift to here."
"Thank you for helping Mommy, Hiccy!" Ariana said happily as they started walking away from the school. Hiccup's brow shot up at the sudden nickname.
"Well then, shall I poof both of you back?"
"Poof?" the little girl questioned. "Like…." She then proceeded to make some popping sound and gesture wildly with her hands causing Hiccup to chuckle.
"Something like that," he laughed.
"She won't be harmed by it?" Astrid asked as she wasn't sure of how such a mode of transportation would affect children.
"It's completely safe," Hiccup assured her. "Besides, I can't harm anyone without you telling me to." He gestured to the mark on her hand.
"Oh…. ehm…" Astrid frowned. She really wanted to get to the bottom of this whole contract Hiccup referred too. She then nodded and Hiccup gestured for both to take his hands once they were on a secluded part of the street. Within no time they were back at the apartment and Ariana shouted "Again! Again!"
"Sweety go freshen up. Your father will be here to pick you up in an hour," Astrid told her daughter. "Hiccup and I need to have a grown up talk."
"Are you going to ask my mom to marry you? the girl asked innocently causing the demon to sputter.
"Ariana…." Astrid said in a warning tone as the little girl ran out the room. She then turned to Hiccup who was gaping. "I'm sorry. She tends to…. Want to meddle in my lovelife. Ever since…." But Astrid stopped and then changed the subject. "Now tell me what exactly this contract is."
"Well it's pretty straightforward," Hiccup shrugged. "You summoned me, you get your desires granted and in return I get your soul." Astrid snapped her head up from the juice she was pouring for both of them causing the glass to overflow. She silently cursed as she now had to was the counter and her sticky hand.
"My soul?!" She looked at Hiccup incredulously.
"Well, I guess it is debatable," Hiccup said as he poofed a giant leatherbound book out of nowhere. "Let me just check," Astrid craned her neck and saw that the cover of the book was adorned in golden letters and read 'Ye Olde Book of Demon Contracts'. She raised a brow as Hiccup leaved through it. He was humming Bohemian Rhapsody absentmindedly until he came towards the paragraph he wanted. "Right…. So… Accidental summons…," he read. "Well good news and bad news on that."
"Tell me the bad news first," Astrid sighed.
"The contract still has to be completed," Hiccup told her.
"And the good news?" Astrid was at this point still in a daze when she asked.
"You don't have to give me your soul," Hiccup shut the large book and it vanished in a puff of black smoke. "But the payment has to be of equal value to the wish."
"I see," Astrid mumbled as she gave Hiccup a glass of juice before reaching into her handbag, that she had left on the island counter, and pulling out her knitting set. "I see," she said again before she started absentmindedly knitting as Hiccup watched her with a raised brow. Ariana came back into the room a few minutes later having changed out of her school uniform. At the sight of her mommy knitting she asked "Mommy who you wanna hit this time?"
"It's alright… It's alright sweety," Astrid stopped knitting. "Do you have everything for when your dad comes to pick you up?"
"I don't wanna go," Ariana huffed. The five year old looked rather funny as she stomped her little foot in the middle of the apartment.
"You know you have to, sweety. Mommy needs to get to work," Astrid told her calmly.
"But daddy is such a butthead!" the little girl pouted as she sat on the sofa. "He just makes me sit in front of the TV and be quiet."
Hiccup snorted at the butthead comment when Astrid's phone rang. She picked it up on the second ring and as she listened to the voice on the other end her demeanour turned increasingly darker. "What do you mean you're not picking Ariana up?!" she hissed lowly. "We had a deal!"
"Well whose fault is it that I can't afford a babysitter?" Astrid shot back as the conversation continued.
"She's your daughter too! Don't put all this on me!" Astrid shot back just as the line went dead. She smacked her phone onto the counter and picked up her knitting again. "Excuse me for a moment," Astrid said as she left the room while muttering curses under her breath so that her daughter didn't hear.
"Told ya Dad's a butthead," the little girl stated from the couch. "Mommy's gonna knit a three sleeved sweater again."
"What's with all the knitting?" Hiccup asked as he looked around the room. The coffee table and even the sofa's pillow cases were covered with knitted stuff.
"Mommy's thea..tre...thera-shrink…." the girl finally settled on a word. "Says she should focus her anger into a hobby."
"I see….." Hiccup mumbled. "Excuse me," He said before he followed after Astrid. Coming up to her bedroom he knocked before opening it. "Astrid?"
"Hiccup…" Astrid said as she saw the demon poke his head through.
"I was wondering if everything was alright?"
"Everything is just peachy," she mumbled while going through her closet. "Do you want mittens?" she suddenly asked.
"What?" Hiccup was at a loss with that question.
"I don't know if Hell gets cold but…. I got mittens." She held up a set of brightly colored ones.
"Astrid, those don't have thumbs," Hiccup mumbled and idly wondered how much stuff the woman had knitted. That must have been a lot of anger. "You know I could watch Ariana for you tonight," he offered.
"You would? Wait….. Is this part of the contract?"
Hiccup shook his head. "No, I offered 'cause I wanted to. It seems like you have your hands full."
"Thank you Hiccup," Astrid said. "My boss would flip if I took Ariana to the diner again. He's not that friendly towards kids."
And so that's what happened that night. Astrid trusted that Hiccup would be capable enough to watch her daughter and when she got back from her waitressing job she found the pair asleep on the couch. Ariana was snuggled up in the quilt and Astrid stifled a giggle as she saw Hiccup's sleeping face and hair as he lay on the couch.
"Welcome back M'lady," Hiccup cracked open an eye as he saw Astrid trying so very hard not to laugh out loud.
"Well you two had an interesting night," she giggled as Hiccup sat up and helped her bring the little girl to her bed.
Astrid said nothing until they were back in the living room. "Do you need some makeup remover?" she asked as she looked at the small braids all over his mop of auburn hair and the eyeshadow.
"What? Ariana assured me I'd look fabulous," Hiccup teased before simply changing his appearance back to his old self.
"I've brought some food," Astrid told him while gesturing to the container she had set down on the counter when she came in. "Do demons even eat human food?" she asked now that she thought about it.
"Are you kidding? Human food is a delicacy for us. The food in Hell is so bland." Hiccup told her as he peered into the container and took out a fry. It was then that Astrid got an idea.
"Say…. Hiccup. Would me providing you with food satisfy this deal between us?"
"Sure," Hiccup shrugged as he popped another fry in his mouth. "If you ask me the whole soul thing is a bit outdated anyways. So what's the deal with Mr Butthead anyways?"
"It's a long story?" Astrid sighed.
"You want me to change him into a slug for you?" Hiccup offered.
"What?! No!" Astrid quickly said.
"Earthworm?"
"No!"
"Seagull?"
"Hiccup there will be no demonic transformations," Astrid sighed. "Came sit. You might as well know the whole story since I assume you'll be staying around for a while."
"You know…. You are about the calmest person I've seen go about this whole demonic contract thing," Hiccup said as he flopped on the couch next to Astrid. "My last one was some mafia boss who freaked that it actually worked."
"I've found that dealing with those judgemental mothers, which includes both my mother and mother in-law as well, to be much harder than living with a demon contract over my head," Astrid mumbled. "I'm sure you already figured out that I had Ariana pretty young. I was just out of High School when I met Eret at a mixer. One thing led to another and he and I were dating. Five months later I find out that I'm pregnant." She sighed. "I'll never call Ariana a mistake. She's a little angel, but my mother didn't see it that way," Astrid muttered as her fist clenched. "To this day she still gets on my case on how a kid ruined my figure and all the plans for my future."
"Wow…" Hiccup mumbled as he listened attentively.
"But yes, so I was 18 and pregnant. I was an adult and Eret asked me to marry him. You know, he was a different man then." Astrid sighed. "He genuinely wanted to take responsibility…. Now though…."
"Eret was a good father, I just don't have a clue when things went south. A few months ago I found that he had forgotten to log out of his Facebook account. There were…. very suggestive messages between him and another woman."
"He cheated on you!" Hiccup's eyes widened. "That's… That's….. I mean look at you. You're gorgeous and a great Mom and not killing people with cacti! Why wouldn't someone want to be with you?!"
Astrid blushed and muttered a small thank you before she continued her story. "As you can imagine I was enraged….. Very enraged." Astrid stated. "I of course confronted Eret about it and he was denying it until I showed him the chat messages and then he blamed me! Can you believe that?! He said the reason he cheated was because I didn't have so much time for him anymore."
"I think butthead might be too light a term," Hiccup muttered as he placed a hand on Astrid's shoulder reassuringly.
"Tell me about it. You know what he did next?!" Astrid now really started venting. "He actually had the gall to empty our joint-account and move in with his side piece!"
"Then what happened?" Hiccup asked curiously.
"Well, I marched down there at 11 o'clock at night to give him a piece of my mind of course. Needless to say the cops were called." Astrid groaned. "We got off with a warning but they couldn't do anything about the money since we were still married and his name was on the account. I just didn't think he'd be so petty. I had to find a smaller place and I had to sell my other car and buy an older model just to put food on the table the first two weeks. Best part though was…. His side piece dumped him too."
"You can guess that the relationship quickly headed for a divorce then. He might be a cheating bastard but I at least thought he would want to spend some time with his daughter. This is the second time he stood her up."
"Okay… I have to ask. How do those other parents fit in?" Hiccup questioned. "They looked at you like you were some stain that needed removing."
"You certainly are blunt." Astrid huffed. "We wanted Ariana to have the best education. So private school it was. Eret and I became acquainted with several other parents there in the PTA." Astrid explained. "When he filed for divorce he made me seem like the crazy ex in the relationship. Now they are all giving me judgemental stares and waiting for me to break so that I'll just be some juicy story in their country clubs."
"Hey….. Hey…." Hiccup said as he presented Astrid with a handkerchief. She blinked a few times before she felt the wetness in her eyes. Astrid hadn't even realized that she had started crying.
"Thank you," She mumbled before stifling a yawn.
"Why don't you go to bed?" Hiccup suggested. "Tomorrow is a new day." Astrid yawned once more but nodded. She then realized something "You don't have a place to sleep!"
"I'll take the couch," Hiccup told her. "No biggie."
"Are you sure?" Astrid asked. "It can't be comfortable."
"It will be fine." Hiccup assured her.
"Then let me at least get you a blanket. I recently knitted one with a Pikachu on it." Astrid patted his leg before standing up. 'Just how many things did this woman knit?' Hiccup wondered.
Everything was quiet in the apartment until sometime around 3AM. Hiccup's eyes snapped open. An ominous feeling ran through the small apartment and he hurried towards Astrid's bedroom. Throwing the door open he saw a dark wispy blur hover over Astrid, who looked to be in the throes of a nightmare. Hiccup acted without thinking and conjured up a fireball before lopping it at the blur. It hit its mark and there was an 'Oof' sound when a figure connected with Astrid's wall. The nightmare seemed to stop for Astrid and Hiccup approached the figure that was groaning in pain.
"What the hell man!" the mysterious figure grunted as he stood up. "Can't you see that I'm working here!"
"Snotlout?" Hiccup's eyes widened.
"Hiccup?" the one named Snotlout said in astonishment before grumbling "This wasn't in the contract."
Astrid's nightmare had calmed down and Hiccup dragged Snotlout out of the room and towards the door. "HEY, HEY! Take it easy on the horns!" Snotlout winced as his horns were sensitive.
"What made you think you could attack my contractee?!" Hiccup asked looking quite angry. "Do you really think I will let this slide?"
"Hiccup! Wait! I didn't know she was one of yours!" Snotlout struggled as Hiccup finally let go of his horn. The shorter demon rubbed it and then said "If I did I wouldn't have come close."
"What were you supposed to do?" Hiccup asked as his eyes narrowed. "And don't even think about lying. We both know I outrank you and this is me asking nicely."
"All I know is what's in my contract," Snotlout mumbled. "And why did you have to burn a hole in my pants?!"
Hiccup raised a brow and crossed his arms. "I think I know who your employer is. My question still stands. What does he want with Astrid and why resort to demon summoning."
"Sooooo… you know how we sometimes get these weirdos?" Snotlout sighed. "I think this guy is one of them. He was so convinced that his wife was out to get him that he told me to just make her suffer. To the point her heart gave out." Hiccup's eyes narrowed and his pupils turned into slits. "Did he now…" He growled as Snotlout took a step back.
"I swear, if I knew she had a contract with the King of Hell I would have declined the summon!" Snotlout said. "Come on cuz! You know me!"
"Wait….." Snotlout said as he stared at the other demon. "Does she even know you are THE king of Hell? You didn't give her that silly business card with that stupid CEO title did you?"
"Shut it Snot," Hiccup muttered.
"You did, didn't you!" Snotlout shouted only to have a hand clamped over his mouth. When Hiccup removed it the shorter demon asked "You like her don't you?"
"Snot!"
"Hey, probably everybody in Hell thinks you need a girlfriend. If she's your type….."
"SNOT!"
"Just saying…." Snotlout mumbled.
"Why don't we pay your employer a visit," Hiccup suggested before popping both himself and Snotlout over to Eret's apartment. The apartment curtains were open this time and Hiccup noted the room that was bathed in moonlight.
"Where is he?" Hiccup had little patience for these types of individuals. He might be a devil, heck, he might be the King of devils, it didn't mean that there wasn't a moral code in Hell.
"In bed I would think," Snotlout shrugged not feeling the least bit sorry for his contractee. "I got summoned, got my instructions and he went to bed." Hiccup didn't wait and marched up the stairs of the two storey expensive apartment with Snotlout right behind him. He opened the bedroom door without knocking and his eyes narrowed as he saw the sleeping form of Eret. Striding to the bed he proceeded to kick the man out.
"OUCH! HEY!" Eret shouted from the shock of falling on the floor. When the man looked up he saw Snotlout first and said angrily "Mighty fine way to wake up your master. Is the job done?"
"The job won't be completed," Hiccup said causing Eret to whip his still sleep fogged head around. "WHO ARE YOU?!"
"I'm normally a nice guy but you just get on my nerves." Hiccup muttered then produced a scroll in the palm of his hand. "Your contract with Snotlout is nullified. Subsection 7G of article 34 in the Demon handbook states that contracts cannot be fulfilled if the other party has a stronger demon under contract."
"Just who the hell are you?!" Eret now stood up and Snotlout made a cringe at him challenging the king.
"Explain to me why I shouldn't exact retribution for you wanting to harm my contractee." Hiccup growled.
"I don't have to explain anything!" Eret grumbled. "And I knew I should have used one of the more higher demon summoning techniques." He said under his breath before looking at Hiccup. "Besides it's not as if you can hurt me! Astrid probably hasn't even given you a task to complete." Eret sounded rather smug. At this point Snotlout really, and I mean really, wanted to whack his head on a desk for being paired with such an incompetent summoner. Even he wasn't this oblivious to the atmosphere.
"Snotlout go back to hell. This matter is over," Hiccup ordered and for once Snotlout was more than happy to immediately comply. Snotlout vanished in a puff of smoke faster than a meerkat could duck into a hole and Hiccup narrowed his eyes at Eret. "Consider this a warning," Hiccup said while snapping his fingers. Soon Eret began to itch all over his body. Astrid only said he was forbidden from transforming people into other things. She never said he couldn't give someone a bad case of poison ivy rash.
When Hiccup poofed back to Astrid's apartment he did so right above the couch. With a heavy thunk he fell onto the cushions and snuggled into the blanket that was still here. Hiccup didn't sleep for very long and when he woke up again it was still extremely early. He decided he might as well have a nice soak in the bathtub Astrid had.
Astrid woke up with a yawn and glanced at her clock which read 5:52AM. She still had to make Ariana's school lunch before getting her to the Primary. For some reason she felt very lethargic and could barely remember the dream she had last night. Astrid shuffled out of her room at a lazy pace and proceeded across the hall to the bathroom door. It wasn't locked so she thought nothing of it and opening it with a creak. The sight that greeted her took a while to process. In the bathroom stood Hiccup like a deer caught in the headlights, one foot still in the lavender soap scented bathtub. His hands were gripping a small towel that Astrid was sure would not fit over those very sculpted hips and…. Was that a some damn nice lanky muscle. She quirked a brow before she realized what exactly she was staring so intently at. When everything finally clicked both parties let out a yell and Astrid slammed the door closed and leaned heavily against it. Her mind was jumbled but it certainly wasn't complaining about the sight just then. 'And were those horns on Hiccup's head?' she asked herself. She might want to find out in the future. 'Oh please, it wasn't the horns you were ogling.' Another part of her mind supplied while sounding quite smug.
To say that things were a bit awkward at breakfast was an understatement. Ariana noticed the tension as she saw her mommy stab the happy bear pancake quite viciously. Astrid dropped Ariana off at school while Hiccup stayed in the apartment. He was still pacing when Astrid returned.
"We need to talk…" Both said at the same time.
"You first," They said at the same time again.
"Astrid… uhm…." Hiccup mumbled.
"You….. Uhm… it was no big deal," Astrid muttered and then backtracked. "Not that I'm saying it wasn't…...big," Astrid turned scarlet at the double entendre and so did Hiccup. "Uhm…."
"Look, it was an accident, we could just move on." Hiccup suggested as he felt it become more awkward for Astrid.
"Yeah...uh...yeah," Astrid was still blushing.
"There is still a matter we need to discuss," Hiccup stated. "Last night a demon contracted by your soon to be Ex paid you a visit. I didn't want to say anything when Ariana was here in case it made her frightened.
"Is Ariana in danger?" Astrid asked as her eyes widened.
"No, no. But just in case I sent my familiar Toothless to watch over her. He'll be totally invisible at her school."
Astrid eyed Hiccup when he mumbled "well as invisible as a chubby little dragon can be."
"What did…what did the demon want?" Astrid suspected she knew what it was about but wanted Hiccup's thoughts on the situation.
"He was sent to kill you, Astrid. Eret really wants you dead. He just can't use demons now since you're contracted to me."
"But you think he'll use other means?" She asked.
Hiccup nodded. "Just what do you have on the guy that makes him want to get at you?" Astrid was silent for a few moments before mumbling.
"I think I know," she said before heading to her room. Hiccup waited and when she came back she had a stack of files with her.
"When Eret emptied our account I didn't have any money to hire a divorce lawyer, and he's intent on dragging this before a judge." Astrid sighed. "So I did some digging on my own over the months and uncovered that he's been running a pyramid scheme for a year or so now. That's where all the extra income came from." Astrid gave a self-decrepitating laugh. "And here I thought he got a raise at work."
"Why haven't you turned these into the authorities?"
"Would you believe that I still had my hopes up?" Astrid mumbled. "I keep thinking, maybe he'll have a change of heart. Maybe he won't abandon Ariana." Hiccup nodded.
"You know….. Sometimes, people won't change back to who they were." He said quietly. "But from what I've seen, he couldn't have sunk lower last night."
"Should I… turn these in?" Astrid asked as she looked at the stack of papers. "What if he gets all this dismissed?"
"You just need one very shrewd lawyer."
"But I can't afford one."
"But you got one." Hiccup told her with a wink. "I can bury him."
"So what you're saying is that you're literally the Devil's advocate." Astrid muttered which caused Hiccup to guffaw.
"All the paperwork that gets piled up on my desk in Hell was good training." He laughed.
"Hiccup… if you pull this off… I will give you food forever!" Astrid promised.
"Well now that is a very fine deal I just can't overlook." Hiccup smiled as he held out his hand. "I might just have to stay quite a while here."
Astrid blushed but nodded as she shook his hand. The deal was struck and then Astrid asked "So what are you going to do first?"
"I was thinking of giving a friendly demon over at the IRS a call. I'm sure a couple of excruciating audits will start the ball rolling." Hiccup stated as he eyed the pile of files with a certain amount of glee. "You are just going to love Mala."
Epilogue
Astrid and Hiccup were standing on a street corner eating pretzels while watching the chaos unfold on the other side of the street. There were police cars parked in front of the building where Eret worked as an accountant.
"I can't believe it only took you two months." Astrid mumbled. "And even the divorce is final now."
"Well Eret wasn't really the sharpest tool in the shed on where to hide money." Hiccup shrugged.
"So…..eh…" Astrid asked as she watched Eret be placed in the back of a police cruiser while agents walked out with boxes. "The contract is complete right?"
"Yeah…." Hiccup said with a frown. He had gotten used to the little apartment and loved hanging out with Astrid and Ariana. "I have to go back to Hell to finish all the paperwork that's been piling up."
At Astrid's frown he added in reassurance "but I'll come back to visit!"
"Right…. The food," she mumbled, remembering her end of the bargain.
"I meant I'll come back to visit you and Ariana." Hiccup said as he looked Astrid in the eye. "And maybe… take you on a date?"
Astrid blushed and then nodded. Her pretzel was forgotten as Hiccup pulled her into a kiss. He had certainly been wanting to do that for more than a month now.
-THE END?-