-1Note: This story takes place not long after everyone, including Goku, comes back from Namek. Trunks has told everyone about the Androids. Vegeta has yet to go Super Saiyan. Everyone is preparing to start training for the Androids arrival.

Chapter 1: Roshi's Place

The old man sat there on his couch, watching some very entertaining TV. He was smiling bigger than anyone was physically able to. His teeth were crusty, but his tongue rolled across the lower line on teeth, skipping notches from the ones knocked out back in his fighting days. Behind the dark glasses, his yellow eyes shimmered with an 800 year old shine. Almost a century old and the geezer still whooped it everyday, usually more than once… actually more than 12 times on average, but who's counting? Turtle was out back, taking his usual swim around the island. Oolong, Krillin, and Bulma had all went to the store. Roshi recalled that he asked them to pick him up a 40 oz. He would need it after he tore his mess up all day. He never told anyone about his beatings. Everyone had their suspicions, after all, he was a very perverted old man.

Roshi sat on the couch, buck-naked, laughing and grinning at the ladies he watched on the Playboy channel. He was almost done… with his seventeenth round. He didn't do near as well when he boxed, but that was over 400 years ago. He heard the hover car pull up and moved frantically to finish. Just as the door opened, Roshi jumped up, covering himself with a towel. Oolong stepped in first, followed by Bulma, then Krillin who carried all the groceries. Oolong caught a slight glimpse of the wrinkled old ass.

"What the fuck were you doing?" Oolong asked.

Roshi's eyes widened. He tried to act angry. "What do you mean 'what am I doing?' I just got out of the shower! Can't I walk around in a towel in my own house!"

"But the bathroom is upstairs."

"So… I heard the car pull up and I thought I'd help you with the groceries."

"Go put on some clothes!" Bulma shouted. "You're making me sick!" She put her hand over her mouth, gagging.

"This is my house! You sonsabitches stay here for free!" Roshi was sick and tired of everyone pushing him around. He threw his towel down and stood there naked.

"What the fuck is that!" Krillin shouted, dropping the bags of groceries.

Bulma lost control and vomited all over Oolong's head.

"What the FUCK!" Oolong shouted.

Roshi stood in a prideful stance. "I'm so damn sick of you freeloaders telling me what to do! I'm not covering my dragon up until you all apologize!"

"Apologize!" Bulma screamed. "I don't even live here! I just came by to see if Yamcha was here and you asked me to drive them," pointing to Krilling and Oolong, "to the store to get you some damn liquor! I'll just stay at my father's place from now on! You're a fucking pervert anyway!"

"Well, I have to live here, so I'm sorry!" Oolong said. "I don't want to see your… dragon."

"It's just a salamander." Krillin stated.

"Oh, you think that's real funny, huh!" Roshi yelled. "Wait until you're 800 years old and see how your shit looks! You be lucky if it's bigger than a beetle's dick!"

"That would be pretty awesome." Krillin said.

"What are you saying?" Oolong asked.

"Well, I'm a short man… and I don't have a nose. You know what that means…"

"You're a fucking freak! Why the fuck don't you have a nose!" Roshi yelled.

"Everyone just shut up!" Bulma commanded. "If you just put on some clothes, we can all forget about this whole situation!"

"I'm not gonna forget that decrepit old nutsack!" Oolong said, trying to wipe the vomit off of his head.

"Well try!" Bulma said to Oolong. "Here's your 40 ounce!" She said, shoving the bottle into Roshi's sticky hands.

Roshi starts drinking quickly. He takes the bottle down from his lips and opens his mouth to speak, but he is interrupted by a loud crash outside.