Hello there!
Long time no see ;)
I haven't planned to upload that early, I don't even know why I am doing this now but let's not focus on that :)
I promise the story will be finished even if there is only, like, 2 people reading this.
The story is rather dark, and I mean really, it's just filled with triggers.
Anakin is 18. It's no slash as always.
TRIGGER WARNING!!:
The fanficion is focused on rape (I didn't describe it much, don't worry, it is just kind of mentioned but the very action isn't described.) and aftermath of it. It deals with despression and angst.
If that offends you in any way, please leave now, no one wants you to feel uncomfortable here. The subject is rather hard.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
~~~ Chapter 1 ~~~
"You are never listening to me!" a voice hid anger and irritation. The voice was filled with negative emotions that clouded the Force.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi Knight of the Order, watched as his 18-year-old Padawan is pacing impatiently around the quarters, face red and lips trembling. The emotions, all at once, fogged the dark room.
He said nothing at first. He tried to control his feelings, there is no anger. It was just a normal day of training his Padawan. Nothing above usual.
"Anakin, you are never listening." he began quite calmly, his eyes haven't left the teenager's face. "I tolerate much of your behaviour, I really do. But when you get into the fight with other Padawan, obviously, I'm not happy." his voice was firm and he gave him a stern glare. His arms were folded over his chest.
"He started!" the apprentice's fists were clenched tightly.
"Anakin. Who started doesn't matter. Because it was you who punched first. The Jedi--"
"Should not feel anger blah, blah, blah. I know how to be a Jedi, Master. You don't have to lecture me every time!" the teenager muttered and looked at the floor of their darkened quarters.
"By behaving like that, you will prove nothing but the fact that anger takes over you too often." he frowned and sighed.
Why does Anakin always have to make such problems? He loved him, of course, but sometimes it's just too much to take in.
It wasn't the first time he was involved in a fight. It wasn't the first time he punched someone. Until now, Obi-Wan was able to ignore this, for Anakin, as the teenage boy with such awful past, may have been controlled by all those hormones that surely are raging within him.
But it has been the third fight in this month, and he decided it cannot be tolerated any longer. Neither he, nor the Council, approved such a way of solving emotional problems.
"Don't you care about reasons why I did this? Why I had to hit him?!"
Obi-Wan raised his hand and shook his head in disapproval.
"Reasons matter not. The action, that is the problem. You need some self-control, Anakin. There is no 'I had to'. The Jedi should not feel anger as you do. The Jedi are supposed to release it into the Force." his Padawan only rolled his eyes.
"He deserved it! You don't know! You don't understand!"
"I do know what is the Jedi way and do understand the use of the Force, Anakin. You should start doing this, too. The Force is always there. Even when there's nothing else."
"Sure because you're never there! Because you don't care about me!" Anakin shouted loudly, tears of anger shining in corners of his blue eyes. "Master Qui-Gon would have been much better than you!" his lips were trembling now, his eyes blazed with clear hatred.
The burst of emotions from his Padawan hit him like tsunami, almost knocking him down. His words echoed in his head and for a moment, they were just looking at each other, silence as overwhelming as awkward.
Hitched breath of the boy was the only thing heard. The Knight has not responded. The hurt in his grey eyes was to be noticed even in this darkness.
Anakin, seeing this, started to regret his words. Qui-Gon Jinn has always been like taboo. Obi-Wan very rarely mentions him in their talks, even arguments. Anakin doesn't do that either. But this time something broke, it was just too much to take in.
He was angry, he was hateful. Yet, now seeing the gaze Obi-Wan gave him, he felt only sorrow and grief.
Without any words, he turned towards the door in a shame, wiped the tears away and just ran out of the room so swiftly that Obi-Wan had no time to stop his leaving.
He closed his eyes and sighed. Of course he cared. He has always cared. However, the teachings of the Jedi couldn't let him be his friend. He had to be his Master.
Maybe Anakin has a point, though. Maybe Qui-Gon would have been more capable to take him as a Padawan Learner. After all, training the Chosen One has never been an easy task. It's been like a challenge. And it has had its ups and downs, of course.
But he would never say that he doesn't care. He loves Anakin. He truly does.
As much as he loved Qui-Gon Jinn.
He has been staring at the door silently, trying to calm down. There was no anger, there was no annoyance, only peace of mind and the Force.
The past is left behind. One shall not dwell. Nothing will bring Master Jinn back to life.
However, now his mind was focused on his apprentice, his thoughts on what to do.
Without any doubts, he decided that chasing Anakin wouldn't have much sense, he will come back when he takes control of his anger.
He will return.
And Obi-Wan will be waiting.
~~~o*o~~~
The night has been very dark and cold. But here, among Coruscant buildings everything was different. Lights of billboards, speeders and clubs just brightened up every part of this place.
Only the Jedi Temple is always quiet.
Only there, people don't care.
'You've been a slave, and you will always be. It's in your blood.'
Stupid Urak, the Zabrak Padawan that has always been problematic, has always been making this kind of remarks. Why do they hate him so much?
And Obi-Wan doesn't care, he doesn't give a damn about it. He was a slave, yes, indeed. But why everyone is so harsh? It's not like he wanted to have such a life on Tatooine.
It's not like he had something to say about this.
Sometimes it would be enough to talk, only talk. He would get rid of memories that haunted him almost every night.
With his hood on, he passed streets and avenues. Some people were in hurry, the others drunk or high. His anger disappeared, dispelled by cold wind. On its place came regret. He should not have said that to Obi-Wan, even if it was the truth. Even if it was the way he had really felt.
He didn't even notice when he found himself in the lower levels. But he knew he wasn't supposed to be here. Obi-Wan warned him not once of this place, of this area.
'Coruscant underworld is a very dangerous place for a Jedi Padawan to be', he always used to say. Anakin didn't want to listen at first, but the tremor in his Master's voice had sounded so worriedly back then.
With all negative emotions still hidden within him, he quickened his pace, diving deeper into the dark streets. He didn't know what he is looking for and why, he just moved forward.
He had never been here before. Obi-Wan had always preferred to go alone. Maybe he was just too ashamed to take him... he will never know.
His nostrils caught the smell of moisture and some chemicals. Everything was dark, and there were no people around. Only his steps and fast breathing.
He was better now, he calmed down. But there appeared another problem - he was lost.
He looked around, tears drying on his cheeks. He had no idea where he was and how he got here. What led him to such a dark and quiet place? Not a minute ago the streets were loud because of the talks and other beings. Now, there was no soul, not even the police officers that he had passed a few times earlier.
Everything appeared to be dead. Eerie silence was his only friend.
Then, there was a shout. Cry for help. It was a female, panicked voice. Desperate plea. He couldn't ignore it.
He needed to act. Now.
Without hesitation, he rushed towards the sounds, quickly and nervously. The shouts got closer with his every step. He stopped in an alley and saw her - a Twi'lek woman, in the dark corner, and in front of her - huge man dressed in black. She was struggling to get free from his grasp.
He ran up to them and pushed the man away. Then, he saw his face. There was an ugly scar across his right cheek, left probably by a knife. He was bald, and his green eyes filled with hatred. He saw in them... death.
"Whataya want, boy?" a hoarse, rasp voice asked him, the tone sounded dangerous. "Ya lookin' for trouble, ah?"
Anakin gulped in sudden fear, the Force surrounding him sent a warning. He knew now, he knew he had to get out quickly. He desperately backed off, but the man only laughed dryly. It was too late.
The teenager looked at the Twi'lek woman, but she had already fled. He frowned and his heart started to beat much faster.
All of a sudden, two other men appeared from nowhere, he was surrounded.
He tried to back off once again, but the wall behind him made the escape impossible. They were getting closer and closer. His breath became unsteady, his heart crazily raced in his chest. He was aware of the hopelessness of his position. There was no way to avoid anything which was about to happen.
The Zabrak man grabbed his cloak and he, struggling nervously, lost it. The grip tightened and he whimpered in pain.
"Let me go!" he demanded but didn't sound as dangerous as he would love to. They laughed hoarsely. "Please..." his whisper was weak.
"Relax, kid, we're going to have some fun together." the first man informed and Anakin felt as if something squeezed his guts. He couldn't swallow the lump that formed in his throat.
Someone grabbed his belt and tunic. Someone touched him and ripped his clothes off. Cold blade of a knife got closer to his neck.
He started crying and begging. They were much stronger, and he was firmly pressed against the wall, surrounded and helpless.
Even his lightsaber was in no use, for their painful grip was too strong to get free.
Rough hands bruised his body and the coldness embraced him. His dry screams echoed around but there was no one to help.
He was alone.
~~~o*o~~~
Obi-Wan's foot was tapping at the floor impatiently. He has been waiting, but his apprentice hasn't come back yet. He couldn't deny it, he began to worry, for it has been at least three standard hours since his disappearance.
Anakin had never been away that long.
Perhaps it was the anger that kept him away from the Temple. Perhaps he simply had no desire to look at his Master now. Or, as he would hate to know, something happened. He couldn't sense Anakin's presence anywhere nearby, and it was concerning as well.
Coruscant, despite its beauty, is a dangerous place after the fall of a night. It is the time of criminals that come out of their hideouts.
Although the city is well-guarded by the police, or even with the Jedi always on alert, Coruscant hides many secrets. Slavers, thieves, murderers... they all could be found in the lower levels.
What if Anakin, in his rage and haste, went down there? What if something really bad happened? After all, that young boy has always had a special talent to get into trouble.
Maybe he should look for him? Maybe he should slip away from the Temple and hope to find his Padawan safe and sound?
Yes, he definitely should. Why does he even wonder? He has to act, to find him.
He looked at the clock. 3:30am standard.
It's high time he left.
~~~o*o~~~
He would never suppose to be forced to slip away from the Temple. He would never even think about that. Sometimes, though, serious situations demand taking serious risk.
It was for Anakin's sake. His Force-signature, even if still present, has still been weak. He couldn't feel his light that has always accompanied him.
Full-moon and the stars decorated the black sky. Normally, he would be admiring the beauty of the night, but not this time. This time, he had much more serious problem.
With his hand on his lightsaber, he rushed to the Coruscant underworld, with hope of finding his apprentice. He will never forgive himself if something happens to him.
The streets were almost empty but he occasionally happened to pass some people by. Most of them were drug addicts and alcoholics. He has not lost his alertness, though.
Jedi aren't very welcome here, at least not in the middle of the night. That's why he simply couldn't lose focus. One wrong move, and he may not see the daylight again.
He shivered as the cold breeze ran through his cloaked body. He cautiously looked around and turned left, as Anakin's Force signature led him there.
He felt the darkness surrounding the neighbourhood. The Force was disturbed and unsteady. He let go of the sudden fear and carried on walking.
When his Padawan's presence got stronger, he knew he was at the right place. It was a shadowed, empty alley, known mostly for drug dealers who often come here to run their own business. Shortly saying, not the best place for Anakin to be.
He looked around, lightsaber now clutched in his a bit shaky hand. The place as dangerous as this, should be better watched.
He made a few steps forward, still alert of his surroundings. He could not feel anyone but his young Padawan.
However, it was too dark to see anything clearly. His eyes needed a few minutes to adjust to the darkness.
And when they finally did it, he saw something lying on the ground, in the shadow of the corner, next to the empty container.
Quickly, with fear, he realised it isn't something but someone. To his concern, the figure felt quite familiar. It was a boy, he could see it even in this eerie darkness.
With a dreadful feeling in his guts, he rushed to the limp teenager's side and crushed to his knees. The figure was lying with face down, pressed against the cold concrete.
Obi-Wan gulped and, as gentle as he could, rolled the young man onto his back, afraid of what he might see. And as the Knight feared, he recognised the boy. He knew the boy. Anakin.
His dark robes were tattered to pieces, his face bruised and there was a wet path of tears made on his cheeks. He was lying in the puddle of blood. Bruises and cuts were all over his limp, defenceless body.
He swallowed thickly.
"Anakin..." he whispered and his hand caressed the teenager's cheek. He was afraid to touch him, he looked so fragile.
He could notice a black eye and the blood oozing from his nose. Furthermore, his left shoulder looked to be dislocated.
He grabbed his wrist and checked for the pulse, afraid of what he may or may not feel.
He sighed. It was so weak, but at least still present.
Tears started to burn the corners of his eyes and the grief ran through him. The view was nothing he had ever seen before. Shocking wouldn't be a suitable word. He didn't know what would be, but he did know he was terrified.
"Anakin... please wake up..." he whispered again and shook his arm gently. The boy did not stir. "Who has done this to you?" he asked quietly, but the question, as predicted and expected, remained unanswered.
His palm left the young man's cheek and he looked around in search for anyone. They were alone. He decided it was good, because if Obi-Wan met the bastard who did this, there would be no much mercy.
Anakin's lightsaber was shining in the other corner, so Obi-Wan approached to take it. After giving a closer look, the weapon appeared to be broken. He pinned it to his belt and returned to Anakin's side quickly.
He sighed loudly and slid his hands under the boy's knees and back. He lifted his body up. It wasn't heavy, although Anakin was taller than him.
The blood on the ground that left, broke Obi-Wan's heart. He yet did not know what happened but, as he presumed, it hadn't been anything which would make him feel good.
Anakin was hanging limply in his arms, looking dead as never before. With heavy heart, he left that horrible place and headed to the well-known Halls of Healing...
T.B.C