Just a little slip-up

a Torchwood story

by RoadrunnerGER

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Torchwood, the BBC does.

Summary: Team Torchwood follows a Rift alert and things don't go as planned. Jack/Ianto

A/N: I wrote this story when I tried to break my writer's block by taking on my beta's challenge to write something surrounding the word "neutered". At first I had no clue but suddenly the whole story was there in my head and wanted out. :D So, big thanks to my beta mandassina. Enjoy!

xXx

As Gwen was off duty and away for the weekend with Rhys, Ianto went out with the team when an alert came in. On the outskirts of Cardiff they discovered a pair of unknown aliens and pursued them into a summer cottage.

"Where did they go?" Owen hissed as they stalked through the corridor to the living room.

"I don't see any more than you do," Jack murmured. "Tosh? Let's go upstairs."

Carefully they climbed the stairs while Owen and Ianto searched the ground floor. They had just determined that it was clear when they heard Jack shout over their ear comm., "Got them! They're on their way down!"

In order to cut them off Owen and Ianto moved back into the hall. Before they could quite make out what was coming, though, they ran into the creatures and went down on the floor with them in a tangle of limbs and other appendages, not exactly tentacles, but neither were they arms and legs. It was quite a skirmish. Just when Ianto thought he finally got hold on one of them he felt something slimy under his palm. His grip slipped and the alien wriggled away from him. Now Ianto noticed that his hand was not the only part of him that was covered with some sort of goo.

Jack and Toshiko came bounding down the stairs to come to their colleagues' aid but all they achieved was slipping on the greasy floor and landing right between Owen and the second alien.

"No, you don't!" Jack grunted as it slithered out from their midst and threw an inflatable cell in its direction. As the first creature approached the second they both got caught into the energy field.

"Good work, sir," Ianto groaned as he tried to free his legs by pushing against Owen. "Get up, you git!"

"Easy, tea boy!" the medic snarled. "Don't be so pushy!"

"You're squeezing my legs!" Ianto complained.

"And you're squeezing my arse," Owen snickered. His smirk held something lecherous.

"Wouldn't that be my job?" Jack cut in mischievously.

"Where Owen's concerned it's my job!" Toshiko admonished and grabbed Owen's jacket to pull him in for a kiss.

To both Jack and Ianto's astonishment their medical officer did not complain and returned the affection.

"By the way, sir," Ianto challenged, "why would you squeeze Owen's behind?"

"I would much rather squeeze yours," Jack leered even though his hand roamed up Owen's leg to more private parts. "Come here!"

He reached for Ianto who willingly sank into the embrace and into a crushing kiss. Eagerly they fumbled at each other's buttons. Jack never stopped kissing as he shrugged the coat off and reached for Ianto's waistcoat. His own shirt and braces were gone quickly and a moment later the Welshman's upper garments were gone as well. In their enthusiasm to get together they lost their balance on the slippery floor and fell against Toshiko and Owen who were also halfway undressed already. Rolling around in an attempt to find their respective partners they spread the slime across their whole skin.

Nobody cared.

It was not unpleasant at all and did not stop them from kissing and licking at one another. Ianto felt increasingly aroused, so aroused in fact that he did not care whom he was kissing. As it was he leaned over Toshiko who lay on her back now, assaulting her mouth with heated kisses. Someone was kissing his back and fondling his genitals. As he supported himself with both hands beside Toshiko's head the hands on her breasts had to belong to someone else, probably the one who just bit passionately into Ianto's upper arm. The pain went well along with the exquisite sensations that made his core strive. Kisses on his butt cheeks almost drove Ianto out of his mind and he rode on a wave of pleasure, never stopping his sweet assault.

As he went over the crest Ianto felt himself rolling. Now he was on his back and soft lips claimed his own. Becoming demanding they urged Ianto to open up and a tongue slipped into his mouth. The Welshman enjoyed the male taste. Full of relish he wrapped his arms around Owen to pull him closer.

Of course Jack did not want to be left out and moved with them, his arms around Owen while Toshiko stole kisses from his lips. Sliding up to Jack she got between him and the other couple. One of her hands roamed across his back while the other threaded in his hair. Their kisses became more heated and she leaned back, feeling her support give way as Owen rolled off Ianto.

The sudden lack of contact left Ianto desperate for another's touch and he threw himself into the tangle again. Feverishly he sought skin, rubbing and kissing and snuggling and licking and squirming. His heat rose to unknown heights. For a moment he believed to be joined with a woman but when he opened his eyes he looked straight into Jack's pale blue gaze. Right then another wave of bliss crashed over him and Ianto's world dissolved in sparkling colours.

xXx

"Oh, my God!" Gwen's shrill voice greeted the battered looking team when they tried to sneak into the Hub the next day. "What the hell happened to you lot?"

For once the Welshwoman had arrived early on a Monday morning. Even though they used the entrance through the armoury she spotted them at once and rushed down to them.

"What is that stuff?" she asked with barely concealed disgust.

Right, we're still covered with slime, Ianto thought miserably. Dried slime. Still yucky. His misery intensified when he noticed that Gwen's proximity triggered a fresh surge of arousal. Not again!

"We've met Slimer," Owen grunted, pushing Gwen away.

"Oh, you morphed into the Ghostbusters?" she teased. Her grin fell from her face at Jack's sour expression. "Now what happened?"

"We had a rift alert," Toshiko explained tiredly, stopping for just a second before continuing her way to the tunnel and ultimately to the showers. "Two aliens came through."

"Where are they?" Gwen prodded, trying to keep up with the other woman.

"Escaped," Jack snapped. "Now, leave us alone. All right? We'll debrief in thirty."

"Sure," Gwen muttered and backed off, watching the others vanish into the shower rooms.

xXx

Nobody mentioned what had happened that weekend ever again. About a month had passed when Jack asked Ianto to stay after work. The request was far from being unusual, but as Jack seemed rather pensive lately Ianto could not help but worry and wonder what might be wrong. As he walked into the captain's office after the others were gone Jack gestured him to sit down. On the desk lay a small gift-wrapped package. Jack stared at it thoughtfully. A minute passed, then another.

"Are you all right?" Ianto finally asked.

"Yeah," Jack sighed. "I'm fine."

"Then why do I get the impression that you're not?"

"Don't know," Jack shrugged. His gaze found Ianto's and it made the Welshman shiver.

Something's up. I can feel it with every fibre in my body, Ianto thought. What can it be?

"You know I'm different, Yan," Jack murmured. "Being born in the fifty-first century and all that…"

"Yeah…"

"I… never revealed how different exactly." Suddenly Jack sounded anxious. "You know, the pheromones aren't the only thing about me that are more… let's say evolved."

"How so?"

"Well, I'm…" Jack cleared his throat. "I'm a hermaphrodite."

Ianto scowled. Of course he knew what that was. What irritated him was that Jack did not tell him… or that he did not notice.

"So?"

"So I have both sets of genitals," Jack explained, muttering so low and fast that Ianto had trouble understanding him.

"Sorry, what?"

"I…" Jack took a deep breath. "I have both sets of genitals."

"I never noticed."

"Well…" For once Jack seemed uncomfortable where his sexuality was concerned. "It's not quite as obvious as you might think."

"Okay."

"Well, it isn't."

"I get it."

"It's just that…" Once more Jack drew a deep breath, trying to gather his courage. "I also try to avoid it. See, I'm male, right? I feel male and my primary orientation is heterosexual."

Now that was news to Ianto. In fact, he only just managed to avoid asking, 'Since when?' He was never under the impression that Jack had a primary orientation.

"You know I'm not limited to females. I enjoy males as well. Or aliens. When you think of me as omnisexual you're not wrong. Just… allowing other men to know I'm partially female… it makes me sick. The thought alone of being touched there already is appalling. It… doesn't give me pleasure."

Now Ianto was thoroughly confused. "May I ask why?"

Even though he grimaced Jack nodded.

"I was in an abusive relationship," he began. "I was young and stupid and when I noticed that something was off it was too late. He used me in all respects and when I finally defended myself he raped me."

"Oh, Jack, I'm sorry," Ianto murmured. He wanted to wrap his lover up in a hug to comfort him but somehow he got the impression that Jack chose this setting with the desk between them for a reason.

"I… he had told me he was neutered, but… he must have lied because I… became pregnant," Jack rasped. "And I… never… I don't know what happened with the baby."

Ianto was about to ask for the reason when he realized, "That's part of your missing memories?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry, Jack," Ianto said, doing his best to keep his voice from quivering. "But, why are you telling me about it now?" he wondered.

At that Jack pushed the parcel toward his lover.

"What is it?"

"Open it."

Frowning Ianto picked the package up and unwrapped it. When he opened the lid he did a double take. His gaze shot up to Jack, then back to the contents, then back to Jack.

"Care to explain?" he gasped.

Jack shrugged. "It turned blue."

"It turned blue?" Ianto frayed. "Are you trying to tell me that you… you… you…"

"That I'm pregnant?"

Ianto choked down the lump that suddenly was in his throat. "You're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"But…"

"You… don't want it?" Jack anxiously asked.

"I didn't say that," Ianto shot back. He felt his cheeks heat up. Hoarsely he rasped, "How?"

"Must have happened when that alien slime so totally uninhibited us," Jack told him matter of factly. "I always knew how to enjoy myself, but that night? Hey!"

Ianto choked. He had to admit that he had forced the memory of that night into the back of his mind. He did not remember much and that which he did recall, very much against his will and often at inopportune moments, was outrageous. They had agreed without any discussion that it was all the fault of the aliens and that they would not talk about it ever again and that was it.

And now this!

"Our child," Ianto whispered.

"Yes," Jack agreed and finally a smile grazed his lips. It became a little lopsided, though. "Well, I think so."

"What do you mean?" Ianto anxiously gasped.

"Could be Owen's."

At that Ianto's features derailed and he groaned, "Good God, no."

"Yan…"

Suddenly Jack sounded plaintive and Ianto could not stand staying on his side of the desk anymore. He went to stand beside Jack and cradled his head against his chest.

"Tell me," Ianto murmured and felt Jack's arms slip around his waist and cling to him tightly.

"I… I want to keep it."

"Of course you will, cariad," Ianto muttered soothingly into Jack's hair. "Why are you so anxious about it?"

"The way you reacted…" Jack tearfully replied. "What if… if Owen's the father?"

"Well," Ianto tentatively started, "then the poor baban will have three daddies."

That elicited a small laugh from Jack and he pulled Ianto down to sit on his lap.

"Seriously, Jack," Ianto said. "It's not the kid's fault. As long as you don't intend to raise it with Owen…"

"No!" Jack laughed. "No, I don't."

"Do you want to have a paternity test?" Ianto queried.

Jack shrugged. "We'll see if he's fathered her when she looks like a weasel when she grins."

Ianto uttered a pained laugh. Then he realized what Jack had just said.

"She?"

"Well, I think she's a girl. Would you rather have a boy?"

"I want a healthy child, cariad," Ianto said and assured him with a passionate kiss. When he backed off he sighed. "Do we really want to risk it? Torchwood's a demanding job. Where's time and room for a baby?"

"I want this kid," Jack murmured and tightened his embrace to a crushing hug. "For you, Yan. For us. I want to raise her with you. We'll make it work."

Ianto was touched. Love filled his whole soul and he leaned in for a tender and lasting kiss.

xXx

Eight months later Ianto cursed when it was not the Rift that kept him and Jack awake at night but the most beautiful, healthy, and perfect little baby girl in the universe.

The End