A/N: I never have anything to say in these things, what do you NORMAL people talk about? Um, maybe i'll just ramble about things that have no importance to any of you but i'll do it just to fill up this space here. Yes, evil plans are evil. I was sitting in the car thinking about Lockhart and the 'obliviate' spell and then BAM this idea hits me. There is a lot of 'what the actual fuck' going on in this story and I really hope that you all enjoy it because... I dunno, it takes effort to plan out stories and write them. I'm writing two stories at once now (it's terrible, I know because I can barely keep up with one) but i'm going to try and update this every one-two weeks. This story was inspired by the song 'Wake Me Up' by Evanescence and the story/first chapter is named after lyrics from the song. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'Wake Me Up' by Evanescence. I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about HP if I owned Harry Potter, and if I did Dramione would be canon. That is all.

Hermione Granger. Strong, fearless, muggleborn, the brain of the Golden Trio, Gryffindor's lioness, was not all that the people made her out to be. Nobody noticed the typical symptoms that showed the trauma she still suffered from daily prior to the war, nor the tiredness in her eyes or the strain in her voice. Their unseeing eyes never took in the way her body dragged slightly whenever she moved. It was something she could never relate to, because she noticed these signs among many of her friends after the war. She noticed most things. She had seen the withdrawal in their eyes, the way they scrunched up their face before talking because they didn't want to have to find the energy.

It hurt the former Gryffindor deeply that her best friends didn't notice. She wasn't meaning Ron there, because hell did that boy notice anything at all? Nor Harry, he was perceptive but not much more than Ron. Ginny didn't notice, Luna didn't notice, Alicia didn't notice, Neville didn't notice, Hannah didn't notice, no one noticed.

And it left her wondering - did they see her anymore? Was she just invisible to them, a ghost? Her eyes slid shut as this thought drifted through her mind and she immediately discounted it, as she had so many times before. Surely not, they were her friends and they cared about her. It was just this depression making her feel like they didn't, she told herself. "Speaking of depression," she muttered to herself as her eyes snapped open once more and took in her perfectly prim and proper apartment. It didn't feel homey or warm, it looked as if no one even lived in it due to how clean it was. You wouldn't be able to tell that she did unless you checked her bedroom, which had a picture of her, Harry, Ron and Ginny in their Gryffindor uniforms, laughing heartily at something that she had long since forgotten.

Her flat was small, with a simple kitchenette/dining/living area setup and a hallway that led to her bedroom. On the opposite side of the door to her room was the door to the bathroom, and that was basically it. Hermione lifted herself off of her lilac couch and dragged her tired limbs over to the kitchen where she reached up to the medicine cabinet, full of pills and various other first aid needs. She pulled the bucket down and dropped it carelessly onto the counter. She didn't feel an ounce of relief when it didn't topple over onto the floor. She didn't have the energy to feel anything other than tired and ever so alone. She was always alone, in this flat, around her friends, at work, everywhere.

The isolation had driven her to the point where she needed muggle anti-depressants to help neutralise her mostly negative emotions. She popped out one of the pills and chucked it back with a glass of water, shuddering as the pill slid down her throat. She had decided months ago that she would never get used to the feeling of taking pills. It was unpleasant and they never seemed to taste nice, so she couldn't exactly chew them up either. She could remember the first time she'd taken pills and she'd tried that - it wasn't the greatest experience of her life to be honest.

And that was when it hit her.

She couldn't go on living like this, she was Hermione freakin' Granger and she refused to just lay down and let herself become this withdrawn, sad person. Her gaze hardened and she knew just what she had to do. She needed an escape, to get away for a while so she could come back, stronger. Because after all, the saying went 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' and it was time she started living by that code. Spurred on by her moment where she felt like the old, fiery-tempered Hermione Granger, she stomped straight to her bedroom and began shoving everything she could into a trunk. Her fingers grazed over the photo frame on her bedside table before she laid it down flat so she couldn't see the happier times.

Scribbling a note on a scrap piece of parchment, Hermione Granger made her escape from the suppression and the trauma of the wizarding world. The moment she entered the muggle neighbourhood that she'd grown up in, she felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her chest and though the haunting memories of the war still lingered in her mind, she could breathe again. It was as if the fog in her mind had momentarily been lifted and she understood how to get through the depression that had plagued her since the end of the war - and the solution would not be found among muggle drugs. She had to find it within herself to move on, though a certain potion could come in handy, for she already felt the greyness tugging at her mind, trying to drag her back into the dark.

That's it though, after the brewing of the potion i'm DONE with magic until I can move on, she firmly told herself, though found that no part of her resisted her own thoughts.

There was a strange contentment in the decision to give up her witch powers and she was surprised by her own discovery but not overly bothered by it. Perhaps because she was raised as a muggle it would be easier to become one than she'd originally thought. Determinedly, she strode towards her parent's house, which she had inherited due to their untimely death. Ironically, they had been taken from her due to a car accident. She had devoted everything to keep them safe from the wizarding world, only to have the muggle one rip them away from her.

She still felt like bursting into hysterical laughter whenever she thought about it.

"Hermione?" Harry's voice echoed throughout the empty flat and his brow furrowed as he took in his immediate surroundings. Prim and proper Hermione, whose flat never held a speck of dirt was dusty, as if nothing had been moved in days, nay, weeks. It concerned Harry because he had not heard from his friend in nearly a month and after a while of pestering Ginny about whether she'd heard from the brunette, he finally decided to go investigate. The flames of Hermione's floo network roared behind him and he knew that it was his red-headed fiancé behind him.

"Dust," Ginny muttered as she brushed past Harry and stroked her index finger over the bookshelf, lifting her finger to see a clear trail where she'd slid it. She wiped her hands on her jacket and turned to frown at Harry. "Hermione's flat is never dusty." She commented and Harry lifted his green eyes to meet her brown ones, concern swimming in the pair of eyes.

"Did you notice-" He started.

"-that she's been very quiet the last few times we saw her? Yes," said Ginny, a frown now marring her own features and matching the one on her beloved's face.

"Maybe she's upset because of the break-up with Ron?" Harry mused, though he knew immediately that wasn't the answer.

Not two days after the war had ended, Hermione and Ron finally decided to talk about the kiss they'd shared and chose to embark on a relationship. Everything had been going well until Hermione found out that her parents were dead and she'd become... angry. Everything set her off and it was getting to the point that it put a major strain on her and Ron's relationship. However, Ron managed to get her to calm down and though she wasn't the same as before the war she stopped getting angry all of the time and things had been going well for the mix'n'match pair. Despite outward appearances though, Hermione had confessed to Ginny that she was unhappy with Ron.

All the things that she used to find adorable about him had begun to just annoy her. The way he talked with his mouth full, spraying food all over everyone in the immediate area, how messy he was, how he expected her to just know the answer to everything, his lack of motivation to get off of his arse and help her clean up the apartment, the look he had on his face when he couldn't for the life of him understand what she was trying to say, they all pissed her off to the point that the relationship began to burst at the seams. Two months ago, after eight months of dating Hermione had finally had enough and she broke up with Ron almost immediately.

The moment they broke up, everything got better and they were back to being friends once more. The Golden Trio had become the three best friends again and Harry had thought everything was fine. But Hermione was never really fine, though he didn't notice too much. Ginny did, but she preferred not to bring it up. For you see, Hermione was a shining light to those around her, the strong, brave, intelligent lioness that they all looked up to and Ginny didn't want to admit to anyone that she thought Hermione was falling apart. They all needed to see someone as being strong, and Hermione had filled that void that everyone desired to get through the war. She felt guilty for it every day and had resolved to talk to Hermione about the sadness that seemed to plague her when it seemed she had disappeared off the face of the earth.

"Yes, and pigs fly, Harry," snorted Ginny, their worry about Hermione forgotten for a moment as they both chuckled lightly.

Both of them immediately stopped and looked around, ears straining for some sort of noise in response to their conversation, but they were met with complete and utter silence. Harry was the one to break it with a sigh as he headed towards her bedroom, hoping beyond hope that she would be fast asleep on the bed and would have some sort of excuse for vanishing for such a period of time. Had it been a month? He pursed his lips as he realised it had been. A whole month without word of Hermione, and Harry had not once checked to see if she was still showing up to work at Flourish and Blott's. If he had done so, he would have discovered that Hermione abruptly quit her job and refused to give any explanation as to why.

Harry paused outside the door and stared at it warily, as if it would bite him. With a roll of her eyes, Ginny stepped forward and nudged him out of the way with her hip as she grabbed the door handle and quietly pushed the door open. Simultaneously, the couple's faces fell at the sight before them. Drawers were open all over the place and emptied of their contents, random objects that had been on top of the dresser, her bedside table and her desk were all gone. The photo of the Gryffindor's at a happier time was lain down on the table. Ginny was the first to notice the note as they searched the room for any sign as to where Hermione had gone.

"Harry!" She gasped as she picked up the note and tears formed in the corner of her eyes, her eyes sweeping over the words.

Immediately, the raven haired man was at her side and he kissed her cheek softly, fingers wiping away the tears that had slid soundlessly down her cheeks. An arm wrapped around her waist as he tugged her down to sit on the un-touched bed beside them. His wife curled into his side and sobbed softly as her arms wrapped around him. Concerned, he took the note from the beside table and with his arm still tightly gripping her waist, his own green eyes read the words. The moment he was done he released the note, watching as the paper fell tot he ground and feeling his chest constrict painfully.

Hermione Granger had left them.

His arms came around Ginny and he buried his face in her ear as tears ran down his own face. How could she do this to them, why wouldn't she ask for help? They all needed the Gryffindor Princess and though he'd definitely noticed she was more withdrawn, he assumed it was just a personality change from the war. Didn't war change people, after all? But he hadn't realised the problem was this deep that she felt the need to run away from it all and flee to the muggle world where she could be alone and away from them all. The worst part was her plan. And it was what sent Ginny into hysterics and caused even Harry Potter to break down in sobs.

She wouldn't remember everything they'd been through. She was taking the cowards way out. The person everyone believed to have not been affected at all in a negative way by the war, was the one who was affected the most.

To whomever this may concern,

I hope this note finds you in good health, dearest friend. I would like to address this to the three people that mean the most to me, but the rest of you are welcome to read this because there is a bit at the bottom for all of you.

Harry, you were always there for me and I love you for it. You're my big brother and i'm so happy that you found happiness in Ginny and that you got help for your PTSD. It was always nice to have someone around who understood random muggle facts and I am so proud of you for defeating Voldemort. I will always be honoured that I could stand by your side during that time and I hope that despite how long I may be gone, you'll welcome me back with open arms when I return.

Ginny, you beautiful girl. You're my best girl friend and without you I would probably be a major tomboy! You always had this way of making me smile when I wanted to throw something at Harry and Ron for being so ignorant. You just immediately understood what I was trying to explain without looking at me like I was from another planet and it was great to have a girl pal. I wish you all the best with Harry and I want you to know that I love you dearly, you're a sister to me after all.

Ron. I know things didn't work out between us but I think it was for the better. After we broke up I felt like I had my friend back and it was nice to just have you around once more. I hope you don't hold any resentment towards me because of the break-up, I still care about you. Like Harry, you're a brother to me and I wish i'd realised that sooner. I'll always hold you close to my heart, and please, for the love of Merlin learn some simple table manners and etiquette!

And to everyone else I didn't have time to mention, I love you all. Thank you for caring about me. But, though I tried to hide it I can't do this anymore - I can't pretend to be strong when really i'm dying every day inside. None of you ever saw, but my medicine cabinet is full to the brim with drugs and pills to help keep me sane. I suffer from more than any of you can begin to understand and please know that I kept it from you to try and make you feel like you had someone strong to believe in. I won't say it didn't hurt that nobody noticed I was suffering, but I don't blame any of you.

I'm leaving now and I don't know when i'll return. I know of a potion that can lock away my memories of the war until my mind is ready to accept them back. I'm returning to the muggle world and I would appreciate it if you didn't follow me, because I need to be alone. I won't remember anything bad about my Hogwarts years, so the DA, fighting Voldemort, destroying Voldemort will all be gone as well as everything after the war. I apologise but I will still remember all of you, just not on the deep level that we do know each other. One day, i'll be back and ready to deal with the bad memories but for now? I need some happiness and peace.

Love,

Hermione.

A/N: I know Hermione seems a little OOC but war will change people and she is suffering from PTSD and depression, to name the major things. There are a couple of others but they're not really important to know so i'll leave it at that. Don't worry, there shall be Draco in the next chapter! R&R! Cookies for those who review. :)