The Birds and The Bees
By Ameve-chan
Summary: Fluffy has a slight problem. His little Rin-chan is all grown up and catching the eyes of a few of the palace boys. Sesshy's decided that it is time to give the girl "The Talk", with Jaken's help of course. Poor Fluffy. One-shot, for now.
A/N: This is something I wrote on my other account, and I recently decided to consolidate the two. It was originally published 1-21-03. Enjoy.
Thirteen-year-old Rin walked through the village. Her Sesshoumaru-sama was attending to some business here and she decided to waste her time looking around. Jaken was, of course, assigned to go with her. Rin, who was slightly bored with looking around, was amusing herself by whacking Jaken with chunks of three-day-old fish she had found on the side of the road. It was covered in something white and looked quite unappetizing, which is why she doubled over laughing when she had stuffed a piece done the lecturing youkai's throat.
Jaken immediately started gagging trying to dislodge the fish chunk that was choking him, this only fueled Rin's laughter. She started rolling around on the ground in amusement, dirtying her white silk kimono. She was crying when Sesshoumaru arrived. Even though he would never admit it, watching his retainer choke on rotting fish was rather amusing. Instead of laughing, he picked up the toad-like creature by his head and threw him through the air. He was finished with his business and Rin no longer needed a baby sitter. He examined the girl as she gathered herself up from off the ground.
"Hello Sesshoumaru-sama," she chirped happily. Her hair, once in an ornate bun, was hanging loosely around her lower back, her face was smudged with dirt and her kimono was ruined, but she still looked cute.
"You're dirty," Sesshoumaru said simply. Rin blushed and looked down.
"Rin is sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama," she said. Sesshoumaru let out a low growl. "I am sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama," she corrected herself. Sesshoumaru just walked past her.
"Come along Rin," he ordered. Rin scurried to catch up with him. As they were walking side by side, Sesshoumaru noticed that they were receiving some looks. They weren't the normal looks of fear people had when they saw him either, they were different and directed at Rin not himself. He stopped.
"Oh hell no!" he said while looking wildly between Rin and the ogling village boys. Rin turned and looked at him, confusion and worry clearly etched across her face.
"Is something wrong Sesshoumaru-sama?" she asked. The youkai lord didn't answer, he simply drew Tensaiga and held it at his side as he looked wildly around at the boys. They all quickly turned back to their work or ran away from the menacing father figure.
"Nothing Rin," he said as he sheathed Tensaiga and wrapped an arm around Rin's waist. He flew out off there as quickly as he could. He had to get Rin away from those filthy human males and back to the castle where she's safe. 'She'll stay in the palace forever,' he thought manically. 'Yes that's it. She'll be safe in the palace. Must get to palace.' Rin was extremely confused now, and slightly worried.
They landed outside of Sesshoumaru's home. Sesshoumaru let Rin go and stormed away. He called loudly for Jaken, apparently the retainer landed in a rosebush in Rin's garden. He was trying to pull the thorns out of his head and staff when his lord called. He went scurrying to his master who, at this point, could only be described as pissed off.
'Rin'll be safe in the palace. Boys can't get her in the palace. She's safe in the palace,' Sesshoumaru continued to repeat this to himself as he walked through the grounds. He stopped chanting his mantra when he heard giggling coming from the river. He sniffed the air and smelled Rin and a ... BOY!!
The youkai sprinted to the riverbed were Rin was picking flowers, a starry-eyed servant boy was gazing lovingly at her as she babbled on about her Sesshoumaru-sama and absent-mindedly filled his arms with daisies and daffodils. Sesshoumaru charged forward and silently grabbed the boy when Rin was gathering some carnations. He dragged the boy into a nearby bush and covered his mouth so he couldn't scream.
The fox youkai's already saucer sized eyes widened when he saw that it was the Lord of the Western Lands that grabbed him. The boy then realized that it was charge that he was flirting with and one thought kept going through the poor boy's head, 'I'm gonna die!'.
Sesshoumaru could smell the fear and smirked. His little Rin-chan would never mate with this sorry excuse for a demon, but better safe than sorry.
He removed his human hand from the boy's mouth and used it to grab the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to Sesshoumaru's face. The lord raised his other arm so that his claws were mere millimeters from the boy's head. The scared teenager eyed his hand warily. Sesshoumaru let a single drop of poison drip from his claws, it singed the younger youkai's hair off and barely missed his head. The child let out a small yelp.
"Never," Sesshoumaru began in his scariest, most intimidating voice. "Touch. My. Rin." He pulled the boy closer with every word until his face was two millimeters away. "Boo."
The teen promptly fainted. He dropped him to the ground and covered him in leaves in case Rin decided to look for him.
He walked out of the shrubbery, Rin was still babbling about flowers , not even noticing the disappearance of her previous companion. She turned and saw the youkai lord leaving the riverbed. "Sesshoumaru-sama!" she called. 'Damn. She caught me,' Sesshoumaru mentally swore before stopping and raising a quizzical eyebrow at his young charge. She had a circlet of flowers in her hand that he recognized. 'Double damn.' "Rin made her Sesshoumaru-sama a flower crown!" she chirped before placing the flowers on his head and smiling innocently up at him. 'The palace isn't safe anymore either. Too many damned servants. I can't fire them, like hell am I going to get pruny fingers or eat burnt food every night. There is nowhere safe for me to put her. Hmm, only one solution. Triple damn! This will not be pleasant.'
"JAKEN!" Sesshoumaru called. He had decided that Rin was going to have a little talk, and Jaken was going to help.
"Let's see. How to say this," Sesshoumaru began. "Ah, I know." Sesshoumaru folded his hands and smiled at Rin. "When a male loves a wench, he does certain things to express this... feeling." Rin looked confused.
"Like what Sesshoumaru-sama?" she inquired innocently. Sesshoumaru let out a high-pitched squeaking noise. He was extremely uncomfortable and trying to hide it. He finally decided on throwing Jaken out the window to relieve his stress and hopefully distract Rin from her question. Rin squealed happily and clapped before asking, "Like what Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin wants to know."
She started to pout, making this even harder for him. That pout was getting increasingly cute, he just noticed that Rin was getting increasingly cute too. He knew that he didn't have any feelings for her, that would be nearing on incest, but he knew that it would turn more than a few heads. He started to sweat.
"Umm, I tell you when you're older," he finally said. Rin pouted again.
"Fine, Rin will just go play with Ayame," she said while hopping off the chair she was sitting in.
"Okay," Sesshoumaru said as he picked her up and placed her back in the chair. "There are lot's of ways that they show how they feel. One of them is kissing."
"What's kissing?" Rin inquired naively. Suddenly, a plan formed in Sesshoumaru's mind. It would be playing off her naiveté, but it was for her own good.
"Kissing is when a boy gets really close to your face and puts his lips on yours and sucks out your soul through your mouth." Rin gasped in horror.
"Kissing is horrible Sesshoumaru-sama!" she cried in terror. "How else do they show their love?"
"Well, there's hugging. A boy wraps his arms around you and squeezes you to death." Rin yelped in fear. She dove under the pillow and hid her head. Her whole body was shaking and Sesshoumaru almost felt bad, but he had to protect her.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin said meekly.
"Yes?"
"Promise to kill anyone who tries to hug or kiss Rin?" Sesshoumaru's lips curled into a satisfied smirk.
"I promise."
It had been two days since Sesshoumaru and Rin's little "chat", and he was walking a path in the garden. His mind was finally at peace about the issue with boys. He smelled Rin up ahead with another boy. He quieted his steps and stealthily crept forward, listening to the conversation.
Rin was babbling again, "And Sesshoumaru-sama was helping Rin wi-"
"I can't take it anymore," the boy said. "Rin, I like you." Sesshoumaru's eyes widened.
'Shit, I didn't tell her like was the same as love. Fuck, shit, damn!' The boy then leaned forward to kiss Rin and Sesshoumaru readied himself to pounce. But Rin obviously recognized this as the dreaded soul-stealing kiss. She yelled and smacked him causing him to fall and giving her a chance to run. Sesshoumaru smirked. 'That's my girl," he thought proudly.
The boy stood up bewildered. He started after her, but was stopped when the great youkai lord stepped out of the bushes, grinning menacingly. 'Oh this is going to be fun," he though before closing in on his fear-stricken prey.
END