I haven't written fanfictions for quite a while (6 years). This one is short, but I hope you'll like it! :)
His hands splashed the warm water up on his face. The water and the steam from the hot shower felt healing in some way, even though he knew that it wasn't even close to what he needed. But this was the only ten minutes he could get for himself in an entire day. Without anyone asking him the same question over and over again.
He reached for the red towel. It felt soft against his green skin; he just stood there holding the towel for a moment as he breathed slowly. He walked closer to the mirror, while watching the creature looking back at him. He studied his own face, his eyes felt empty. Like there was nothing behind them anymore.
He took a deep breath. Then he put on his red bandages and walked out of the bathroom.
As he walked into the living room, he saw them all sitting there. His father and his three brothers were looking worriedly at him. It made him stop. He hated it. As if pity was the thing he needed right now. Leonardo was the first one to get up from the couch.
"Raph…"
The turtle in question looked away. He wanted to walk to the kitchen, but Leonardo blocked his way.
"Raph, will you please sit down and talk to us?"
"About what, Leo?" Raph snapped back, frowning at his older brother.
"What you're going through," Leo tried.
"No."
Raphael passed Leonardo and walked into the kitchen. He poured black coffee into a mug and sat down in a chair, facing away from his family in the living room, trying to ignore them. However, that didn't stop his older brother, who all of a sudden sat down in the chair next to Raphael.
"Raph, we really want to talk to you. Could you please help us do that?"
"No." Raphael felt like he was repeating himself all the time. He had been doing that for three days now.
He felt like being chased. Raphael stood up from his chair, but Leonardo grabbed him by the arm, holding him back.
Suddenly his eyes widened, as Leonardo let go of Raphael's arm. He looked shocked down at his hand, watching a few drops of blood falling from it.
"Raph, what have you done?"
Raphael could feel his eyes getting glassy. He looked down in shame. But he didn't want to cry here. Not now. Not with his family around him.
"What is going on…?" The youngest brother was suddenly standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He looked from Leonardo's hand to Raphael.
"No… no…" Michelangelo backed away from Raphael, who turned his head to look at his brother.
"Mikey…" Raphael began.
"You promised that you wouldn't do that again," Michelangelo interrupted Raphael, staring at him in disbelief. His voice trembled with sadness. "Remember?! It's not that long ago, so you should be able to remember! You promised!"
Raphael could feel the angst running through his veins. He needed to get away from here. But the only place he had ever been able to run to was now ruined for good. So he just stood there. Feeling paralyzed.
Leonardo put his hand on Raph's shoulder, though it didn't seem like he actually noticed it there.
"Raphael, please… sit down with us."
For the first time in several days, he did as they asked. He stared blankly into space as he could hear Michelangelo cry quietly in the background. He could sense Donatello wrapping his arm in bandages.
"You need to talk to us," Donatello said softly as he was done. "And we really want to talk to you."
"About what?" Raphael repeated. The line was weaker than the first time he'd said it this day.
"About your feelings, my son." The turtle looked as his father sitting in the chair next to him. "I know that is a hard topic for you. You are fighting alone with this at the moment. But we need to discuss this as a family." He paused. "And you need to let us in."
Raphael sighed.
"I know… I'm sorry. But what is there to talk about?" They all looked surprised at him.
"What? Do you really want to know how I feel?" He snorted. But he couldn't lie anymore. His eyes became glassy again, and this time he didn't hold the pain back. His voice and feelings exploded into the room.
"Fine, I will freaking tell you! Life sucks right now! My girlfriend just died! Mona Lisa, the one person who has ever understood me and completely loved me, is dead!" His voice trembled.
Raphael continued sarcastically:
"Oh, and here's a detail that none of you knew: She was pregnant! We were supposed to start a life together. We were supposed to be happy!"
Raphael stood up, grabbed the chair and furiously threw it across the room. He kept breathing for air, but it was too late. The tears streamed down his face, as he sobbed.
Leonardo got up and moved closer to his younger brother. When he didn't seem to react badly to it, Leonardo drew the younger brother into his embrace, his shoulder quickly becoming wet from the tears of pain.
He didn't know how long he held him.
But if it was for Leonardo to decide, he would never let go of Raphael again.