Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or Scryed.

Author's Note: This is completely random. I did this for a friend, and it is really stupid, but I wanted to see what you all thought about it. So be prepared for randomness. This is the worst thing I've ever written! lol

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So, this one time, I encountered a vampire. I couldn't really tell it was a vampire though because he looked just like a normal man, until I saw him walk up a wall. Now that was scary. Of course, I wasn't scared! That was just what my friend said when I told her about it.

Anyway, I followed this vampire down the road, him on top of the buildings and me on the street. We ended up in a warehouse district. It reminded me of the warehouses in Amestris when Colonel Mustang and his men went on a ghost hunt for the mysterious Warehouse Number Thirteen.

He jumped off the building and slithered inside a small door to the right of him. I snuck in behind him. Inside was blood! It was like a blood bank, but more gross. There were tubes of blood everywhere. I saw him grab one and I swallowed hard. He opened the cap and drunk in one big gulp. It was so disgusting I screamed. The next thing I knew the vampire was behind me whispering in my ear, "Hello, so nice of you to join me."

I tried to get away, but he wouldn't let go. What was I suppose to do? I wasn't just going to let that creep suck out my blood like a leech. Okay, that's a frightening picture right there.

His eyes suddenly flashed red, and his skin turned a pale white. Then blood dripped from his mouth onto the floor! He was hungry, and he was going to eat me! Well, actually it should be put another way, but some people have sick, perverted minds, so I can't really say that.

I forced myself to turn to look at him and said, "Close your mouth! You're getting blood everywhere, and this shirt is new, and unless you want to pay for the dry cleaning, I suggest you use a napkin or something next time." The vampire stared at me like I was crazy. I reached into my jean pocket and grabbed a tissue. "Here you go! This may help some."

He took the tissue and wiped off his mouth then pulled me over to a table. Yikes! He really is going to eat me! But what about my shirt! I don't want it to get all bloody. Besides, I have a weak stomach, and I don't want to throw up on it either.

He sat me down in a chair and then sat down, himself, in a chair across the table from me. He clapped his hands, and his servants, who were vampires as well since they had already been bitten and pulled into this freaks trance, brought out a platter and a big axe. You know, the ones they use in the movies when they are going to cut someone's head off. Then I got to thinking. Wait! Vampires don't cut peoples' heads off do they? Well, maybe this one was related to Bloody Mary, that would explain it.

I was now shaking, not from fear of course. I just really had to go to the bathroom. Obviously he didn't catch on because he began to ramble about homework, and getting ready to go to school and things like that. Uh, now that's just weird. Why would a vampire be talking about stuff like that. I wish he would just get it over with already. I mean is he really trying to tick me off?

"Yo, Mr. Vampire, sir!" I saluted.

He looked up at me and raised his hand. "Yes, Lieutenant, what is it you need?"

"I really need you to speed this up. If you don't get your paperwork done, the general is going to be furious."

"Of course. Now what was I planning on doing again? Oh, yes!" The vampire then stood up and walked over to me. He bent down to where his mouth was touching my neck then said, "You'll just feel a little prick and then it will all be over, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

He bent down even further and got ready to sink his teeth into me when suddenly the ceiling flew away and there stood Ryuhou and Zetsuei! The sun came shining in and the vampire exploded in a pile of dust. Ryuhou then looked to me and said, "You're free to go now."

I replied, "I'm free to go? And I can do whatever I want?"

"Of course! That's what it means to be free."

I was finally free of the vampire! "Thank you Mr.!"

"Anytime."

Then, I heard a beeping sound. Kimblee was the only explanation! He was going to set the place ablaze with his alchemy! I had to get out of here fast! I turned to find Ryuhou had disappeared, so I ran out the door to my left as quickly as my feet would allow. Then all of a sudden, kaboom! The whole building blew up and then…

I sat up in my bed panting. Shouldn't I be dead? Where am I? I'm at home. I was asleep. And my alarm clock is going off! "Ani, it's time to get ready for school! You still have some homework to do, right?" My mom was calling for me. I sighed, then rolled out of bed to start a fresh, vampire-free day.

And that's how I encountered the vampire, and how Ryuhou saved the day!

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A/N: Review! Please! lol Flames are totally accepted.